to think my DP should get over his disgust at changing shitty nappies?

[Melly20MummyToPoppy]

seriously, our baby girl is 3 weeks old tomorrow and DP has changed ONE nappy. And that was only because she was wearing huggies and she weed and it leaked and i was at the post office. I keep asking/telling him to change her but he "just can't do it" as he "doesn't do shit" and it makes him feel sick. So AIBU to think he should just man up, grow a pair and get stuck in?

I thought men like this died out in the fifties. Unless he gets over this, you can never leave him alone with his own baby.

he wants a dog? :o
have you asked him what exactly he is planning to do with the droppings that are way, way smellier than anything a baby can produce? He can't go for a walk with the dog then, can he? And dogs have diarrhea as well, let me tell you when our 40-kilos pup had it for 2 weeks - if you're not at home, this will just stink there for a few days or what?

I really don't get why it's such a drama, it takes like 10 seconds to change a nappy. You can hold your breath for 10 seconds! Pathetic.

swallowed nicely said

I agree, dog poo is much worse than 3 week old baby poo.

My DH didn't do much with newborns but not because he couldn't ccope with smells etc, I think he was a little scared of hurting them. Once they could sit up he did everything. I think I had the best part of that bargain, little babies don't try and run away half way through changing and their nappies are certainly more pleasant.
Didn't affect his bonding with them at all.

"i'm shocked that women are coming out and saying their partners don't do it either but that's ok."

Why - my dh is a brilliant dad, he just wasn't good at changing nappies. My two are teenagers now and is a wonderful father to them and does things with them that I find boring and vice versa.
How on earth can you judge a lifetime of parenting skills on the ability to change a nappy! Going by your values dh would have been written off as a father within weeks of DS being born.
Nobody is perfect and we all have our weaknesses.

Ah here,some of these men are just lazy.Nappies are not the most exciting part of the day but they must be done.And baby poo smells far better than toddler potato poo.The DH has changed his own fair share of nappies and dealt with a bout of D&V whilst I was in hospital.

Ladies if they have such adverse reactions to poo then they really need counselling.

Bollocks. No one likes shit. A dad who doesn't change dirty nappies is being an arse.

Im great at changing them.I can change whilst talking on the phone and making silly faces at The Toddler.Thats why Im called BumWiper.

Not doing nappies is not a weakness, it's just selfish IMO. Why should women have to deal with all the shit (literally) just because hubby/partner decided he 'doesn't do' nappies?
Babies need looking after and changing nappies is part of that.

Saying that want to hear the best argument for why men shouldn't have to change nappies, from my mother?

Women carry babies and go through childbirth so they should have to change nappies too.

We've had an argument about this many times. Basically her view is that women have to handle all negative aspects of baby-looking after and men shouldn't be inconvenience because of biology.

He needs to get over it. No it's not particularly nice, but it's just part of being a parent to a baby or toddler, you just have to get on with it.

What would happen if you decided you 'just can't do it'? Why is it just men who get the luxury of deciding what they can/can't or will/won't do when it comes to child care?

I'm not 'good at changing nappies' either. I use hundreds of wipes for example, and have to put put cbeebies on to distract DS2 while I'm doing it. But it's not something you need to win a medal in. It's a pretty basic task really.

Women go through pregnancy and childbirth and thats precisly why men should change nappies.Its hardly a pleasant day out for all,having a baby.The end result is great but its fecking hard work.

Surely the only way to become 'good at changing nappies' is to actually do it and get some practice? This is how most mums become good at it, women are not born magically knowing how!

YANBU, my brother took months before he would change his DD's nappy and wore marigolds when doing so. Even then he has only changed her nappy a handful of times as mother does it for him as she thinks he shouldn't have to.

Makes me so glad my DH is a normal person (if there is such a thing as normal haha) we used terry's for both DD's and he would do the poop scraping etc. I don't do sick, but had to when the DD's come along. Just deal with it and get stuck in don't you.

What on earth did your DH think would happen once you had DC?

BumWiper that's precisely what I keep telling my mother.
She has the opposite view. She finds it completely normal to hear of men (read tossers) like Gordon Ramsay who announce proudly that they've never changed a nappy in their life because that's 'woman's work'.

Ho ho ho. He'd better get OVER it before proper food begins. Then potty training. And lets hope she's not a poo smearer!!

I have cleaned up sick when I am by myself even though I have been throwing up myself at the time. You do things if you are desperate but if you know changing a nappy makes your partner (hate that word) feel sick then why force them to do it, it's cruel. I am sure DH would have changed a nappy if he had to, but why make him do it if I am quite happy to do it, jsut as he knows that I really struggle with the kids being sick and he does the cleaning and sorting out then.

Bruffin, whilst a "I'll take the shit, you take the vomit" is not inherently unreasonable, (in the context of an otherwise balanced partnership), if it is carried to the extreme where the "faecophobe" is incapable of taking on sole care of a child until it's three or four then that is inadequate parenting. A fully competent parent can look after a child on their own for a day - that's pretty much a basic requirement.