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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think he shouldn't have had a serious strop at this? - A bit sexual, sorry!

205 replies

YodelOdelTee · 28/06/2011 11:14

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons :) I am a regular - I remember pirate sex, lavender, judge and the MN bat and that the special word for spiders is LOOOOOFAH'S ha ha ha ha!!!

I have been having casual sex with a man for little under 12 months. No feelings are involved, just sex and a friendship. We go back 10 years to when our friendship began but have only ever been friends, or now more recently friends and fuck buddies.

He has some mental issues, depression is one. During intercourse he goes soft so I give him oral as he stays erect for that and we play around, but lately he is very selfish and it mostly consists of me giving a bj but nothing for me Angry.

So this morning, Steve and I were on messenger just chatting and joking around and the conversation went like this;

S - So if you're not busy today how about you come and suck on my lollipop

Me - Sounds good, but what do I get in return? (hoping he'd say something along the lines of he'd perform oral sex or at least play with me.)

S - My company and a cup of tea

Me - You can't buy me with tea and biscuits, i'm not a prostitute! Ha ha ha (insert smiley emoticon)

And from that moment on it all kicked off. He accused me of only thinking that he's using me for sex and that all along i've thought that he only thinks of me as easy sex etc etc. He's refusing to speak to me now and has sent a few emails which basically say how low I think of him and our friendship. Did I do something wrong?

OP posts:
BabyYoureAFirework · 28/06/2011 13:19

It's red and angry, innit AF?

TheSecondComing · 28/06/2011 13:24

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AnyFucker · 28/06/2011 13:28

come on tsc, just admit it

you punish that lolly within an inch of it's life don't you...no wonder the poor thing is all red and frightened Grin

AnyFucker · 28/06/2011 13:28

< peruses cankles sadly >

TheSecondComing · 28/06/2011 13:33

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AnyFucker · 28/06/2011 13:34

awww, like a ikkle baby tortoise head Smile

TheSecondComing · 28/06/2011 13:37

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AnyFucker · 28/06/2011 13:39

hehe Grin

happymole · 28/06/2011 13:42

YABVVVVVVVVVVU to have sex with a man that calls his penis a lollypop.

Unless, is this him <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00138/F_200601_january26e_138487a.jpg&imgrefurl=www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article35645.ece&h=260&w=200&sz=7&tbnid=2RkosegqH_kHeM:&tbnh=112&tbnw=86&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dbertie%2Bbassett%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=bertie+bassett&hl=en&usg=__QW7zj0q61Ujh-hLJ5EYr5PJohj4=&sa=X&ei=p8sJTujHLdO3hAeqhZHbDw&sqi=2&ved=0CCMQ9QEwAw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">?

Also does he call your vagina a candy cavern?

YodelOdelTee · 28/06/2011 13:53

happymole :o

he calls it kitty (like pussy = kitty) insert projectile vomit emoticon

I am well rid muahahahaha

OP posts:
happymole · 28/06/2011 13:56

Kitty????

Your poor poor vagina.

You must buy a rabbit and if he contacts you again tell him that if he comes anywhere near you with 'his lollypop', you will in fact snap it.

ShirleyKnot · 28/06/2011 13:58

I am weeping at TSC's man going "HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?"

hahahahah

happymole · 28/06/2011 14:01

Rabbit = Vibrator

NOT

Rabbit = Peter

MidnightsChild · 28/06/2011 14:05

Oh god, I forgot to press post on my serious reply and it ended up in the middle of the ice cream innuendo ...

Thank fuck I work from home and no-one can hear me shrieking with laughter Grin

TheSecondComing · 28/06/2011 14:06

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Blatherskite · 28/06/2011 14:16

I can't believe no-one has asked for a Nobbly Bobbly!

Grin
GetOrf · 28/06/2011 14:29

I walked round Swindon high treet at lunchtime laughing away to myself at bag o'mash and the alsatians.

EricNorthmansMistress · 28/06/2011 14:39

OMG I have laughed all the way through this! Espesh Spooks and her tale of the frightened alsation - I have also shagged said specimin and it was indeed exactly like that Grin Although perhaps less alsation, more sea mollusc?

spookshowangel · 28/06/2011 14:42

kitty...KITTYYYYY.......FUCKING KITTY.... is he special. you having none sex with a person who likes men cant get it up because you have a vagina and referrers to his penis as kitty i am sorry let me rephrase that are you special?

spookshowangel · 28/06/2011 14:44

high fives eric in sea mollusc solidarity.

EricNorthmansMistress · 28/06/2011 14:50

No Spooks her pussy is 'kitty'

NorkyButNice · 28/06/2011 14:57

He sounds like the worst FB ever. No fucking and very little buddying from the sounds of things. And anyone who calls their cock a lollipop deserves to be alone for a very long time.

Rockerchic · 28/06/2011 15:37

Well I've done some work and I've enjoyed reading the rest of this thread, the lady boy and soft Mr Whippy got me in fits of giggles.

YodelOdelTee · 28/06/2011 18:15

Blaitherskite, that is genius! Knobbly Bobbly's are delish!

No one mentioned them because you've got brains and we've got cock on our brains!

I'm going to print this thead and post it to lollipop-ladyboyfancier-flaccid-littlecock-twat-arsehole-whocantevensatisfyawoman bastard and see what he says to that!

Anyone think MNHQ should invent a lollipop emoticon? The biscuit one just doesn't quite cut it for the purpose of cock talk.

OP posts:
InTheNightKitchen · 28/06/2011 19:12

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