to think he shouldn't have had a serious strop at this? - A bit sexual, sorry!

[YodelOdelTee]

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons :) I am a regular - I remember pirate sex, lavender, judge and the MN bat and that the special word for spiders is LOOOOOFAH'S ha ha ha ha!!!

I have been having casual sex with a man for little under 12 months. No feelings are involved, just sex and a friendship. We go back 10 years to when our friendship began but have only ever been friends, or now more recently friends and fuck buddies.

He has some mental issues, depression is one. During intercourse he goes soft so I give him oral as he stays erect for that and we play around, but lately he is very selfish and it mostly consists of me giving a bj but nothing for me .

So this morning, Steve and I were on messenger just chatting and joking around and the conversation went like this;

S - So if you're not busy today how about you come and suck on my lollipop

Me - Sounds good, but what do I get in return? (hoping he'd say something along the lines of he'd perform oral sex or at least play with me.)

S - My company and a cup of tea

Me - You can't buy me with tea and biscuits, i'm not a prostitute! Ha ha ha (insert smiley emoticon)

And from that moment on it all kicked off. He accused me of only thinking that he's using me for sex and that all along i've thought that he only thinks of me as easy sex etc etc. He's refusing to speak to me now and has sent a few emails which basically say how low I think of him and our friendship. Did I do something wrong?

Oh I love it when TSC starts calling people dude.

Yes, knocker. To put it in context 'you have got a lovely pair of knockers'. FWIW I am not called June, he was not called Terry.

I was supposed to be grateful, being the twat I am I was grateful for a while

Oh, well, apart from someone referring to his dick as a lollipop, of course.

I had sex with someone who shouted "FUCKING ARSEHOLES" when he came.

That was fun.

What has this got to do with Peter Andre?

Shirley!!!

manoeuvres even.

When I were vair vair young I had a beau what couldn't get it up. He used to say, it's your turn now, (at least I got a bit of whatnot), and I'd knead and pound to no avail for hours while he smiled pleasantly and seemed to think it all quite normal. He looked like David Essex too.

the thing is too when he came he moaned and groaned like a woman. I had to stop myself from chuckling on many occasion.

prince albert

better than shouting "MOTHER" at the crucial moment I suppose

Shirley - please tell me you did not allow a vadge-occasioner near you who shouted that?

'got a bit of whatnot'?

Did you have a June Whitfield sex life as well hully?

I can't be doing with men who make a noise when being frotted.

Shutthefuckup.

I am June (don't tell anyone), but I aspire to be Mildred.

Bloody hell. I thought I'd shagged been out with some weirdos but you lot take the biscuit...

< puts all plans for rest of day to one side >

Surely the only time anyone in their right mind puts up with average sex is when you're in lurve when - of course - you're not in your right mind! In a FB/FWB arrangement, what's the point?

Oh & my FWB listens ... if I tell him I don't like something, or don't like the way he does something, he doesn't do it again. The same with me, I pay attention and remember his likes and dislikes. There's no reason for mutual respect to be absent.

Farking Hell. I had to turn round and ask him to stop it.

HAHAHAHA! I'm in a funny mood today - I think I might have to go away.

OP this is a serious fuck buddy fail. A fuck buddy is actually supposed to fuck you. You have been giving a needy loser a regular blow job for a year. That's all.

BIN HIM

and theres the time too when can't-fuck-you-coz-i-have-a-faulty-cock told me how much he enjoys looking at ladyboy porn and the date he went on with a ladyboy, but he's very much not gay.

I really think it's best if everything is conducted with dignity in total silence and darknesss with just a polite thank you, have you finished, and the offer of a tissue at the end. All else is de trop.

TSC - 'I am going to lick your calippo later on hunza'

tsc...at the very least tell him you want to suck his lollipop

i love your big hard cock, i love the feel of it in side me, i love riding it, i love feeling you come in side me. i cant wait till you get home so that i can fuck you till i come all over your hard cock.