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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the bf flash mob thing that is happening on Friday is a bit smug?

354 replies

Piggyleroux · 20/06/2011 19:26

I bf my 15 mo ds and found bf quite straightforward from the off. I am aware that I was extremely lucky and I know a lot of women really struggle with it. I am also aware that bfing rates in this country are among the lowest in europe.

However, I think bfing needs to be normalised and I feel that this demonstration only serves to sensationalise bfing and imo, make the women taking part seem a bit smug and 'look at me' iyswim and just make people who ff feel even more shit.

Wouldnt it be better for bfing women to openly bf in public rather than do a mass gathering on one day? It really doesn't sit ring with me and I don't think that it will change attitudes or help women who really struggle with bfing.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
Piggyleroux · 20/06/2011 19:27

Sit right not ring. Stupid iPad.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 20/06/2011 19:28

I have to say, I haven't heard about it, but I wouldn't support it. I think YANBU in the slightest, and I agree with everything you've said.

DogsBestFriend · 20/06/2011 19:31

You may have a point.

Btw, not all of us who FF "feel/felt shit" about it. For some of us formula feeding was a choice and one with which we were very happy. It could be considered to be just as smug assume otherwise. Wink

FetchezLaVache · 20/06/2011 19:32

I haven't heard about it either, but it sounds really smug and alienating and will do more harm than good, I'll be bound.

TeamLemon · 20/06/2011 19:33

I've not heard of the BF flashmob.
Is it something to do with the Habiba campaign?

RitaMorgan · 20/06/2011 19:34

I haven't heard of it either, but don't see how it will be smug or make anyone feel shit. That sounds to me more about your feelings about bfing.

DirtyMartini · 20/06/2011 19:36

Agree with Rita.

Original poster
Piggyleroux · 20/06/2011 19:36

dogsbestfriend I knew someone would accuse me of being smug eventually Grin

The smug thing came from some of the comments on the groups Facebook page. I joined the group bit have now left as I felt quite uncomfortable with gung ho attitude that everyone should bf regardless.

OP posts:
Original poster
Piggyleroux · 20/06/2011 19:37

It's being held in paddington in London on Friday.

OP posts:
firemansamantha · 20/06/2011 19:38

I breastfed and formula fed.

I never felt shit about formula feeding Smile

Not heard about the flash mob thuing, is there a link?

RitaMorgan · 20/06/2011 19:40

OK, so it's supposed to be a flash mob to help people feel more comfortable breastfeeding in public - for National Breastfeeding Awareness week. I don't see the issue really.

Original poster
Piggyleroux · 20/06/2011 19:41

here

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 20/06/2011 19:41

I don't see why we should feel we have to apologise about breastfeeding. I also found breastfeeding easy. My sil did not find it easy but she stuck with it. My bf found it very easy. I don't really want to label any of us as lucky. A lot of women who struggle with breastfeeding do so because of issues with the support they receive - both professionally and from family. The numbers still breastfeeding at 6 months are woefully small. We need women to look at their breastfeeding sisters and say YES I can and I will do that. We need to stop seeing breastfeeding as this extraordinary freakish smug act. OP - you are right people need to feed in public more. If the flash mob helps people have the confidence to so that then it's a great idea.

SandStorm · 20/06/2011 19:42

I thought a flash mob was supposed to be organised in a matter of hours, not days? Or am I missing the point?

Original poster
Piggyleroux · 20/06/2011 19:42

Excuse the website but the Facebook one is a closed group so no info. I googled and this was the first site I came across that advertises it.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/06/2011 19:43

I think it's just attention-seeking, will do nothing to normalise bf'ing but will make plenty of people uncomfortable, a bit like the ill-fated 'slutwalk', but each to their own.

JamieAgain · 20/06/2011 19:47

I don't see the problem. I recognise that my feelings about my "failure" to breastfeed were my own. As long as breastfeeding advocates recognise it's not that easy for some, and there's lots more support in hospitals, I don't think a flashmob is smug. It's unfair to use this term, IMO. And those who choose to breast feed should be able to feel that they can do so.

BoffinMum · 20/06/2011 19:48

My ante natal group flashmobbed a road in Battersea once, Everyone just smiled and said it was lovely to see babies being fed 'naturally'. We were almost disappointed as we had been gearing up for a fight with our norks out. Grin

usualsuspect · 20/06/2011 19:49

Breastfeeding will never become normalised if people keep making a song and dance about it

Original poster
Piggyleroux · 20/06/2011 19:51

usual suspect spot on.

OP posts:
LotteryWinnersOnAcid · 20/06/2011 19:51

This is the second time in as many days I've seen the word "smug" used on here to refer to BF mothers.

The idea that anyone thinks there is a subsection of women who are "smug" about BF their children seems a bit ludicrous to me.

Personally I am not smug that I am BFing my DS (5 months) but I am proud that I overcame initial difficulties in order to provide him with nutrition and other benefits from BF (perhaps I am a little smug that I saved money by choosing to feed my infant this way, but then again I feel a bit smug when I save money at the reduced section in Tesco) - is this what you mean or am I blind to something/missing the point entirely?

Are you referring to the lentil weavy types? Please enlighten me, as I just find it such an odd word to associate with BF mothers!

FWIW my feeling is that it's difficult to win when attempting to normalise/promote BF. It seems to conjur strong feelings for a lot of people whether they are pro or anti (or embarrassed, or unable to BF, etc etc). I think the flash mob is quite a fun idea in theory but like that burlesque video that was posted the other day, maybe not the best way to approach the "normalisation" thing - although what is then? I think if it raises awareness around BF then that is good. BF is so rarely promoted in the mainstream media (TV etc). The spectacle of hundreds of 'lactivists' flash mobbing is a bit full on, yeah, but makes quite an impact I think in terms of giving people something to think about.

Sorry if the above is a bit incoherent, phone typing and BF a bit smug tricky Wink

georgie22 · 20/06/2011 19:59

The T-shirts on the wacky lactivist website are completely smug - 'I'm a tit man'? Is that supposed to normalise bf? Sounds like the front cover of Loaded to me. And 'formula is for suckers'. I wish I had been able to bf for longer than I did (6 weeks)and I still feel huge guilt for not managing to overcome our problems despite help and support from what felt like half the population of our town! I can look back now and be glad that dd got my milk in those early weeks and will persevere again when I have another baby and hope I find it easy next time. To the OP I don't think YABU - the flash mob will just add fuel to the anti-bf brigade and make it less normal rather than more normal to bf.

DogsBestFriend · 20/06/2011 20:04

"dogsbestfriend I knew someone would accuse me of being smug eventually"

:o Piggy, only kidding.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 20/06/2011 20:06

I believe that every woman has the right to choose (if they can) how they feed their child, be with breastmilk or formula.
A BF flashmob IS smug and like that ridiculous burlesque video will do far more harm than good; and I certainly can't see it changing someone who wants to FF to wanting to BF - how could it?
It's a 'ooooh look at meeeee' exercise and it's a bloody shame.

Aliensstolemychocolate · 20/06/2011 20:07

I don't think it's smug, but I do think it's totally the wrong way to go about changing things. Although it may raise awareness (and with this type of event I would even be dubious of that) I think it trivialises things that many people want to be taken seriously.
And I agree that the slogans for the T shirts are titally smug