Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the bf flash mob thing that is happening on Friday is a bit smug?

354 replies

Piggyleroux · 20/06/2011 19:26

I bf my 15 mo ds and found bf quite straightforward from the off. I am aware that I was extremely lucky and I know a lot of women really struggle with it. I am also aware that bfing rates in this country are among the lowest in europe.

However, I think bfing needs to be normalised and I feel that this demonstration only serves to sensationalise bfing and imo, make the women taking part seem a bit smug and 'look at me' iyswim and just make people who ff feel even more shit.

Wouldnt it be better for bfing women to openly bf in public rather than do a mass gathering on one day? It really doesn't sit ring with me and I don't think that it will change attitudes or help women who really struggle with bfing.

Aibu?

OP posts:
milkybarkidsgirlfriend · 20/06/2011 22:09

agree op - i cant be done with all that in your face garbage. Yes - SMUG does come to mind - the words exclusively bf alone! SMUG!!

5DollarShake · 20/06/2011 22:09

among the lowest rates, that should be.

5DollarShake · 20/06/2011 22:11

Sorry milky but when you use the word smug, you just sound jealous.

Now, I know you're not actually jealous - so why not acknowledge that bfeeding Mums perhaps aren't smug?

Tortington · 20/06/2011 22:13

o gave up smoking - i am going to turn up to a picnic table outside a pub and not smoke - i shall look at them all pathetic and cold and skint and wet, and happy then i shall go inside and make faces at the smselly skintness of them.

i can't believe you DONT CARE HOW AWSESOME I AM

usualsuspect · 20/06/2011 22:20

Seeing a mum breastfeeding in public ..not making a big deal of it,just doing it is making it normal

stupid videos and flash mobbing makes it a big deal

I know which one would encourage me if I was a new mum

bibbitybobbityhat · 20/06/2011 22:24

Oh I'm a grumpy old gimmer but I find all flashmobs excessively tedious and irritating and, yes indeed, smug.

fatlazymummy · 20/06/2011 22:39

I have never seen a flash mob so can't really judge,and don't care either way. I was just wondering though what would happen if a lot of the babies don't actually want to feed at that particular moment. After all isn't breastfeeding supposed to be done on demand?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/06/2011 22:48

5dollarshake... Well I think therein lies the problem, anybody can google the information as compiled, I've read it myself, but it's certainly not robust. I resent the constant spouting of 'lowest rates in Europe' with the implication that European women are just not making the effort somehow. Hmm

In answer to the OP, I agree. This 'in your face' demo is not about promoting breastfeeding, it's about showing off and needing an audience. Many of us get on quite happily without making a huge performance out of it and we know where to get help if we need it.

It looks like rain all week btw...

megapixels · 20/06/2011 22:57

I don't see the point of it Confused. Did they honestly think anyone would get converted to the idea of bfing by seeing/hearing about this flashmob?

I breastfed my children and think it's great but I don't know what the objective of this event could be...

Maybe they have too much time on their hands so want something interesting to do?

Bogeyface · 20/06/2011 23:11

I dont thin anyone is saying the if you BF and are proud of it then you are smug. But I agree that anyone who feels the need to make a huge song and dance with this "LOOK AT MEEEE" kind of behaviour will come across as smug and therefore runs the risk of actually alienating themselves and their campaign.

Its just a rather silly and attention seeking waste of time imo and will annoy more people than it informs.

Ozziegirly · 21/06/2011 04:12

It amazes me that anyone thinks how anyone else feeds their baby is anyone's business but the mother.

Breastfeeding is promoted throughout your pregnancy and then encouraged in hospital. It's free and right there when you need it. So surely if people don't want to breastfeed, or can't, it's really very much up to them. It's not like anyone can say "Oh I would have breastfed but I didn't know how" as breastfeeding help is everywhere.

I dunno - I couldn't breastfeed, so expressed and then went onto formula, but I can't say that anyone else's baby feeding choice make me feel any opinion at all. Just like now he is on food I couldn't care less whether other people's babies eat organic or jars. It's none of my concern.

I think maybe people have a little too much time to concern themselves with what other people are doing, and it really isn't any of their business.

5DollarShake · 21/06/2011 06:33

Well, presumably the countries with good breastfeeding rates are managing the capture all the relevant info in order to compile their statistics?

I can't imagine the data collection methods vary that wildly from country to country, so even if we acknowledge that the figures aren't 100% accurate, there's still something to be gleaned from comparing rates from country-to-country.

Meh... What do I care

Dozer · 21/06/2011 06:45

Don't like flashmobs in general ever since phone companies started using them in ads. Though a bf mobile phone ad might be interesting...

janey68 · 21/06/2011 06:54

This seems like a Cliquey group of mothers who just want to make a statement. Couldn't see a time advertised on the poster, but probably when most of us are at work, ironically- not all bf mothers are at home!
I agree with uusualsuspect. Anything which makes a massive deal of bf is less likely to promote it. Far better for bf to just be normalised .

janey68 · 21/06/2011 06:58

I wonder too whether they will be force feeding their children, as they aren't going to want to turn out and then miss out on the opportunity just because their child might not Happen to be hungry then. Or will they time feeds carefully beforehand to ensure the children are starving ? Hmm not sure I agree with anything which assumes a child will want to feed at a certain time, in any situation. Some children are more relaxed feeding in a quiet low-key context anyway

HippyHippopotamus · 21/06/2011 07:18

force feeding their children?! are you serious?

TheCountessOlenska · 21/06/2011 07:18

fatlazymummy and janey68 - from my experience a bf baby will feed any time any place, hungry or not! Breastfeeding is not just about food, it's about comfort, security etc. A bf baby will always be happiest on the mummy's boob ime!

PrettyCandles · 21/06/2011 07:23

It seems to me that the important thing is to normalise bfing, rather than make it stand out. So a breastfeeding flashmob sounds an excellent idea - after all, it's just a big group of mothers all breastfeeding in public. The ideal normality. But titillating t-shirts and prancing militancy? No, that's bad taste, excessively in-yer-face, and puts people off. The good thing about a degree of militancy and passion is that that is what drives people to organise such an event.

I took part in a little bfing flashmob - about 20 MNers turned up with their families and openly breastfed their babies on the lawn in Parliament Square. It was a lovely picnic, really, so normal and relaxed. And we weren't all exclusive bfers there, either. There were mix-feeders, too. I don't think we made any headlines, but perhaps people walking by saw us being normal, and perhaps this influenced their attitudes.

MrsKravitz · 21/06/2011 07:24

What is the aim of this event? Is it just art?

SheCutOffTheirTails · 21/06/2011 07:26

LOL @ "force feeding" a breastfed baby.

If I did "biscuit eating" flashmob, I wouldn't worry too much about people not being hungry when they showed up. I'd presume that most people like biscuits and would take one when offered.

Ozzie - plenty of women don't know how to breastfeed, and the support is not good. e.g. a friend of mine desperate to feed her second was out and about with her all the time days after she was born, and didn't see any connection between how little she was feeding and her lack of milk.

I think the flashmob is quite a nice idea. This thread only proved to me how many people just want breastfeeding done in secret ("no song and dance"). It reminds me of people who have "no problem with gay people" as long as they don't "shove it in my face" (i.e. hold hands in public).

If breastfeeding is so normal and mundane, then what can the problem possibly be? Nobody will even notice it's happening.

And yes, to whoever asked, you are missing the point. A flashmob is about quickly assembling and then fading back into the crowd. How long they take to organise doesn't matter.

MrsKravitz · 21/06/2011 07:28

IMO you would have to be a bit of a wanker to participate in that.

usualsuspect · 21/06/2011 07:28

Where in my post did I say it should be done in secret ?

MrsKravitz · 21/06/2011 07:29

ozziegirly

Breastfeeding is promoted throughout your pregnancy and then encouraged in hospital

Not for me it wasnt.

PicaK · 21/06/2011 07:29

Puzzled by the logistics of the flashmob

All the chairs are by the pubs, cafes - so tucked away out of sight

If they try sitting down on the concourse at rush hour they'll just get mown by home-bound commuters - not cos they are anti-bf but just cos they want to get home.

janey68 · 21/06/2011 07:31

Why are people laughing at the idea of force feeding? Surely any situation where the MOTHER is deciding to feed the child rather than the child wanting or needing it, is in effect force feeding. I'm not saying the mothers are going to be cruel exactly, just that IMO feeding should be something that is done in a calm and 'unforced'context, not to fit some political agenda. I also disagree that all children are happiest when being fed. Most children love cuddling and security and close contact- but that doesn't mean they necessarily want to be eating at the same time

Swipe left for the next trending thread