To think the bf flash mob thing that is happening on Friday is a bit smug?

[Piggyleroux]

I bf my 15 mo ds and found bf quite straightforward from the off. I am aware that I was extremely lucky and I know a lot of women really struggle with it. I am also aware that bfing rates in this country are among the lowest in europe.

However, I think bfing needs to be normalised and I feel that this demonstration only serves to sensationalise bfing and imo, make the women taking part seem a bit smug and 'look at me' iyswim and just make people who ff feel even more shit.

Wouldnt it be better for bfing women to openly bf in public rather than do a mass gathering on one day? It really doesn't sit ring with me and I don't think that it will change attitudes or help women who really struggle with bfing.

Aibu?

It's breastfeeding awareness week though, there would have to be something to mark it or it would be lack-of-awareness-of-breastfeeding awareness week.

Where I am there are a number or picnics throughout the city, with entertainment so you can bring your young family along if you wish. The health worked who mentioned it specifically welcomed formula feeders too. I think it sounds like a nice idea and a good way to raise awareness that BF is doable and acceptable in public. I concede this sounds rather different to what the OP describes in London though.

If women want to get together in a big group and breastfeed, whoop-de-do, who cares? It's when that group of women think they're actually doing something to influence others that I have a problem with it. Attention-seeking agendas repulse me. I find them patronising and excruciating and that has nothing to do with breastfeeding.

If you want to make a 'song and dance' public 'statement', fine then, but accept that it's a self-serving, attention-seeking 'jape' and stop trying to dress it up as a 'public service' that the poor women of Britain are in desperate need of. So many of us breastfeed/breastfed, we just got on with it, no need for a fanfare.

And to the posters comparing this indulgent display to the public's perceived attitudes towards 'gayness', have a big fruity ...

I'm certain that the vast majority of people who object to the quietly and discreetly bfing woman "making a song and dance of it" or "whipping her bits out in public" etc etc etc have, in fact, seen far more mothers bfing than they realise. So often it just looks like we're cuddling a sleeping baby.

Manicinsomniac: bfing toddlers eat a full diet of solids, too. Because bfing is so attuned to the child's needs, it has less influence on their appetites than drinking milk from a bottle has on a ff toddler (one reason why it is recommended that babies not use a bottle after 12m). Bfing is more like a drink, so a toddler might have any number of feeds, a quick little drive-through, or a good long session in mummy's lap. Think about what and how you drink over the course of a day: a few sips of water at one point, or a nice sit-down with a cup of tea at another. For some it is also an expression of affection, equivalent to a kiss or a cuddle. It was easier feeding my dc as toddlers, when they had learned good bfing 'manners', than as 4-8mo, when they were curious, and would wriggle while feeding, yank my top up and twist their heads to look around. Painful and very exposing.

If the attitude is really 'who cares??', lyingwitch, then why all the venom about 'self-serving attention seeking jape'? Why not just let these people get on with it rather than feeling the need to point out how appalling it is to YOU?

i personally think its a great idea to raise awareness. I am absolutely certain that I could be standing next to you and most of you wouldn't realise I was bf (and this is with a wiggly 9mth). So yes, I bf in public alot but i'm willing to bet that very few people have noticed because bf can be very discrete. A friend of mine who bf, takes her top off, then her bra, positions baby on a cushion and then bf. Funnily enough, she times all her trips out around bf her baby because her method is just not practical in public.

a few hours after I"d had dc1, I asked someone on the ward to come and sit with me for his first feed, to check his latch, position etc was ok. The reply I got was 'i'll get you a bottle and some formula, it'll be easier'. I smiled politely and said I'd have a go on my own and let her know if i needed anymore help. Fortunately ds seemed to know exactly what to do and taught me so I was very lucky that i didn't actually need any of her 'help'

Also strikes me that there are some contradictions in the anti-flashmob position here: lots of posters are saying that it won't change anything, and that these women "think they're actually doing something to influence others" but in fact it will have no effect. Fine - but this goes hand in hand with people feeling 'patronised and bullied by the breastfeeding Nazis', apparently. Either pro-breastfeeding campaigners are all-powerful and bully people, or they are pathetic and no-one takes any notice! Which is it? You can't have it both ways.

Piggy

I FF my dc and no amount of smuggery from anyone could make me regret my choice.

You seem to be saying that you expect that that I would already feel shit about my FF choice which in turn comes over as you being smug about your BF choice.

Some women need to choose FF and unless you are one of them too you'll never understand.

i'm personally going along to prove that bf can be discrete and as prettycandles put it (far more eloquently than me!), you will have seen more mothers bf than you realise.

It's not 'venom', *EightiesChick, hyperbole, much? It's merely an opinion about how much I dislike this natural and perfectly normal feeding method being used for attention-seeking. I don't think it's going to normalise breastfeeding at all.

How exactly am I stopping anybody from 'getting on with it'? I'm not. But who are you to direct me to what I can post?

rottentiming can you help me understand why you chose FF? sorry to pick on your personally and obviously ignore me if you're not comfortable answering my question. I am genuinely interested (and apologies if i'm coming across as patronising, I really don't mean to but can't word this so i don't!)

It's perfectly possible to have your space, person and sensibilities encroached upon, EightiesChick, without being influenced towards the encroacher's agenda.

How can a flash mob, which by its very nature is something that's supposed to be surprising and shocking and out of the ordinary, be the best way to NORMALISE BF.

"What percentage of the child's diet is breastmilk - Ie, is it just a snack or an actual meal?",

It varies with age and child. My eldest was once a day before bed awhile then when she thought about it. My middle child was almost exclusively breastfed until 20 months then I got pregnant and she didn't ask very often until my milk came back but by then I had an irritable uterus so wasn't happy to feed her too often.

"Do they eat solid food too?"

Of course. It's more like a drink with most toddlers.

"How do meal?",

Sorry I don't understand this one?

"How do you fit it in around work?"

I don't work but it would be easy as it's a bedtime thing with mine.

"Are you as happy feeding your toddler in public as you were your baby?"

With my middle child it wasn't an option because it was her main food but I didn't mind anyway. I was tandeming so to me I was feeding my baby, I think I had less problem feeding her in public than my eldest at the same age - although I'd have done it if needed - because of having an older one IYSWIM

I would respect this event more if it was being held outside a hospital, to call attention to the lack of support for BF women, and even possibly help women currently on the postnatal ward.

The choice of Paddington I mean, WTF? makes it seem a bit more show-offy, rather than trying to maximise impact.

But then, I don't think BF awareness is the problem, I think BF support is.

I have this image of noisy, over-stimulating, stressful Paddington station suddenly falling under a spell of calmness, as people gradually realise that all around them are little pockets of stillness and contentedness.

But TBH (and sadly so) I feel that what will really happen is that the women who will flashmob bf may well be those who do feed ostentatiously, which won't do the bfing cause much good.

Janey, how can someone possibly 'force-feed' a baby? You can offer, they can refuse. I have no idea how you could possibly force a baby to breastfeed.

The point that someone made about it being like 'a Loaded cover' is entirely the point. We live in a society where the exposure of a breasts for sexual reasons is more widely accepted and understood than the exposure of breasts for the reason they are there.

It is NOT the case that all women who want to breast feed know how to, or can find support. There are lots of women who stop breast feeding, or don't even start, because of a lack of information and understanding. Women feel anxious about bfing in public because they are concerned that they will be perceived as 'smug' or 'showing-off', or because the sexualisation of women's bodies has left them feeling unsure about the 'decency' of the primary function of their breasts. Because bfing in public is not normalised, women are unaware of how often successful bfers feed their babies, and so judge that, because their baby frequently needs feeding in public, they have insufficient supply. Or, because of a reticence to feed in public they feed infrequently and their supply diminishes. In this way, societal attitudes to bfing hinder a woman's right to bf and a baby's right to receive species specific milk.

Until the majority of people can say 'I support bfing' without adding some kind of condition '...as long as it's discreet', '...for little babies'''...but it should be done at home/ in a feeding room' this kind of action is needed. Visible public bfing challenges societal attitudes and the scale of this action provides assurance that it is o.k to bf publically regardless of your shape/ size/ age of child/ technique/ ability to feed discreetly.

I for one will be happily 'waving my norks about' with more concern for mine, and my childs' comfort than for discretion, because I'm not smug about bfing, but nor am I going to be apologetic.

prettycandles I'll be there, and I"ll be bf but it will be discrete. i will only be noticed if people spot the flashmob and then actively look for other mums bf.
I like your idea of the spell of calmness though!

a unified group meeting to bf in public, a show of solidarity. u dont see new mums on soaps bf really and since bf rates are so low in the uk i cant see any negative about this at all.

its a reminder of what breasts are for

Yes it absolutely is other people's perception, even if the woman in question has done no such thing. We need to address this, and I think that something like this gives them more fodder and does the opposite of what they hope it will.

What is wrong with women that choose bfing feeling like they're doing the best for their baby?

Have you breastfed Janey? I'm not having a go or anything, I'm just geniunely intrigued by your comment about forcefeeding and a baby breastfeeding only when it's hungry. Goes against every breastfed baby I've known, and I've fed my children to toddlerhood too. It is I thought one of the biggest pluses of breastfeeding, that they will take it at absolutely anytime and in whatever mood they are in. So when my children were sick and refusing every food or drink possible they'll still take breastmilk.

Women should be able to choose whatever they want to do regarding feeding their own babies and their own bodies. Having to organise politically charged activity to promote it is a sad situation.........when is the flashmob for men who choose to urinate sitting down?

I think if it helps bfing rates ten it's a good thing. It's scandalous that we gawp at 18 yr olds breasts in a national newspaper but scowl at women bfing.

manicinsomniac Here are my answers ...

Q "What percentage of the child's diet is breastmilk - ie, is it just a snack or an actual meal?"

A. Both and either option.

Q. "Do they eat solid food too?"

A. Yes from 6 months, loads and loads of solids.

Q. "How do you fit it in around work?"

A. I work full time - worked 60 hours last week but you just kind of fit it all in. My baby never took to a bottle and has only recently had the odd drink of cows milk.

Q. "Are you as happy feeding your toddler in public as you were your baby?"

A. Typically I BF at home because I work FT and I find my toddler goes for ages without a BF when we are out together but knows at home he can get a big long feed if he wants one. I'd never really thought about this question until you asked, so I suppose now I would be a bit concerned but before your question I never would have minded. Now I will probably look around and realise that he is bigger than most other kiddies being bf. I hope I wouldn't but you have got me thinking.

Anyone who participates in a flashmob is a cunt. No further explanation necessary.