To think the bf flash mob thing that is happening on Friday is a bit smug?

[Piggyleroux]

I bf my 15 mo ds and found bf quite straightforward from the off. I am aware that I was extremely lucky and I know a lot of women really struggle with it. I am also aware that bfing rates in this country are among the lowest in europe.

However, I think bfing needs to be normalised and I feel that this demonstration only serves to sensationalise bfing and imo, make the women taking part seem a bit smug and 'look at me' iyswim and just make people who ff feel even more shit.

Wouldnt it be better for bfing women to openly bf in public rather than do a mass gathering on one day? It really doesn't sit ring with me and I don't think that it will change attitudes or help women who really struggle with bfing.

Aibu?

Opps I meant totally

freudian slip?

Two posts in succession mention "anti BF".

Is there really (honestly) an anti BF sector of society, rather than just a pro FF one?

As I said above, I FF by choice. However I certainly don't feel against breastfeeding as a whole, it merely wasn't for me just as I'm not anti long hair or owning a salamander... not for me thank you but if they appeal to you, you go for it!

Brilliant Freudian slip, BBN. :o

I'm also getting a bit sick of this smug accusation levelled at breastfeeders and find that it seems to be the most effective way to silence any discussion around the topic.

I know, for instance, that I never mention feeding around ff feeding friends, and go out of my way to feed privately in those instances, because this whole 'smug' thing seems to have gained so much ground as a way to put breastfeeders and their 'guilt-inducing tactics' (i.e. feeding heir babies) in their place. I don't want to inadvertently make friends feel bad (and for every ff who is out and proud of their choice, there's so may who clearly aren't or we wouldn't be having these continued debates) and I don't want to inadvertently be labeled smug when I'm simply not. like Lottery I'm proud that I overcame initial difficulties with DS 1 (DD was a breeze so no reason for pride there), but that's it.

Wasn't it that numpty Katie Hopkins who had a mild rant about breastfeeding Mums getting their norks out in Costa, making ff Mums feel bad. Talk about projecting your own issues....

There is no way to promote breastfeeding and raise awareness that won't piss a lot of people off, as the recent thread on here proved. No way. So as far as I can see, people like Virginia Howes and whoever's organising this flashmob (first I've heard of it) probably just need to get on and do what they want to do and accept that they will piss people off. Otherwise nothing will be done.

The t-shirts are worse than the awful maternity ones with naff slogans on. I don't actually know anyone who would have wanted to draw attention to themselves bf by wearing a t-shirt - after all it's just a way to feed your baby and that's the important thing.

My use of "anti" is more a general reference to those who won't consider it, but you're right, it was the wrong choice of word.

Thanks for clearing up my confusion, Lottery.

If people want to do something that they feel makes breastfeeding more socially acceptable, then all power to them, I say.

I guess my only issue with something like a flashmob is that it only really gives lactating mothers a voice. You know, I'm not lactating anymore, my DH is supportive of b/f, as is my MIL. But there's no 'voice' for them there in this kind of thing. That's not to say that it shouldn't happen, but it just seems to compartmentalise b/f as something that only matters to people who happen to be lactating at that present time.

50DollarShake why does awareness of BF need to be raised?
This is not a leading question, I am genuinely interested. Surely every mother is aware of it and makes her own decision where she can? Or am I missing something?

It is very look at meee. I agree.

I bf dd till she was 10 months old. But meeting 'activist' bfeeders actually makes me feel angry towards bf in general.
They are not good advocates for the cause. Let people make up their own minds, they are only creating more stigma by being so bloody dogged about it all.

Mothers within certain demographics are certainly aware of it, but there are great swathes of the population for whom breastfeeding is just not something they have ever seen or would consider for themselves.

It also needs to be raised because the rates of breastfeeding in the UK are extremely low - much lower than in other industrialised countries, and it is a public health issue (I know lunabelly will be along soon to question that, as obviously in her opinion it is not a public health issue; fact remains it is - the NHS has no vested interest in getting mothers to breastfeed beyond the long-term health of the population. It would be far, far easier for them to have all mothers bring in their own formula instead of taking up midwives' time helping new Mums breastfeed).

But - as I said on the other thread, in fact the issue isn't necessarily one of promotion but of support in getting breastfeeding established after it's begun, as while a lot of people do want to b/feed, most people fail to actually get it established.

As someone who described the event as potentially smug, let me stress I am very pro-BF and indeed am still happily BFing my 14mo DS. But I can't help seeing this kind of thing through the eyes of the people who have no intention of trying it and I'm afraid it does look very them-and-us, in a look-how-good-we-are kind of way.

I think it's bollocks. I BF'd DS1 for 6 months and am still BFing DS2. Not smug in the least, just works for me. Bloody hurt the first time. This time is easier.

Flash mob is pants. Why? If the UK has the lowest rate of BFing in Europe it isn't because we haven't had large group of mothers norks akimbo left right and centre in open city spaces since the year dot. Why do I think this?

In Algeria (random example but one I have direct experience of) BFing rates are MASSIVE as in it is the very very few that bottlefeed. It is just expected that you will BF from birth and the ladies just get on with it. Public BFing without considerable cover is a BIG no no.

That said there are plenty of at home all female gatherings where BFing is openly done, so I guess young women and girls see it then.

So I guess it's a chicken and egg thing - which comes first? Exposure to breastfeeding? But how do you get that if people aren't actually breastfeeding?

You know what - even though I'm still b/feeding 10 MO DD it really isn't something I think about in my daily life at all. Only when I come on here and get drawn into a debate.

There's that phrase again, 'lowest rates in Europe'. Where is that data and how accurate is it? What about women who just get on with it quietly and don't want to answer intrusive questions about how they feed their child.

Well, if you're going to question breastfeeding rates, then you have to question every statistic we're given about anything.

Surely if we have faith in the way data is complied and statistics are put together overall, then we have no particular need to question them in relation to breastfeeding specifically?

The accuracy if statistic in general? Sure, there maybe something in that. But not in relation to one specific lot of compiled data.

I do consider every statistic that I read. I question this one because it's touted on every BF thread and it seems to have no basis in fact. How does anybody know what the rates are to make such a comparison? It may well be that the rates are quite high to start off, then tail off a bit? Perhaps they don't? Nobody knows yet 'lowest rates in Europe' is standard 'pap' on these threads.

Ridiculous, do it, don,t do it, it's no one else's business. Just because society says it is acceptable does not mean all women are going to want to pop them out in public and they shouldn't have to.

The logic of some of these posts is evading me. Some examples:

'Breastfeeding won't be normalised until people stop making a song-and-dance about it' - what, so if there's no effort to encourage people, lots of mums will suddenly think 'Ooh, it's all gone quiet on the bf front. No more posters. Ah, maybe now I'll give it a try'? I don't think so!

'Let people make their own minds up' - how is staging a flashmob bf, or any other form of pro-bf campaigning, stopping people from making their own minds up exactly?

5DollarShake agree totally about the 'smug' thing. It's designed to put people back in their place, because of course, the worst thing in the world to be would be smug.

I didn't, as a feminist, feel the slutwalks recently did the cause much good, but I would absolutely defend all those women's rights to do that if they wanted to. And I certainly don't find them smug.

You want to BF? Great.
Don't want to BF? OK then, don't.

Not sure how a bunch of ladies so dramatically showing off their BF'ing abilities is helping anyone. It's just going to make a lot of people think they're slightly un-hinged (and yes, dare I say it, smug) for making such a huge fuss.

No one is going to think 'wow that's a great idea, I never thought of BF'ing before'. It's just fuel to those who think of BF'ing as anything other than a completely normal part of being a mum.

The best thing for BF'ing, IMO, is for people to just get on with it.

Lying I can easily google a load of data showing that the UK has the lowest rates, but since you're just going to say you don't believe them, there's little point in me wasting my time.

In any case, if your agreement basically comes down to either a). they're lying, or b). the rates are so low, they can't possibly be true (in which case you're indirectly acknowledging the 'problem'), then there's not much point us going any further. :)