To think the bf flash mob thing that is happening on Friday is a bit smug?

[Piggyleroux]

I bf my 15 mo ds and found bf quite straightforward from the off. I am aware that I was extremely lucky and I know a lot of women really struggle with it. I am also aware that bfing rates in this country are among the lowest in europe.

However, I think bfing needs to be normalised and I feel that this demonstration only serves to sensationalise bfing and imo, make the women taking part seem a bit smug and 'look at me' iyswim and just make people who ff feel even more shit.

Wouldnt it be better for bfing women to openly bf in public rather than do a mass gathering on one day? It really doesn't sit ring with me and I don't think that it will change attitudes or help women who really struggle with bfing.

Aibu?

Here we go again any excuse to knock breastfeeding.... what all these mums are doing is what is right by their babies and trying to redress the balance of the millions spent of formula advertising, which by the way, no-one moans about. Formula feeding is winning the race by miles. Bottle feeding mums do not need to get upset about breastfeeding. You are winning. If you put a lion in a cage and hand feed it from a cub it will lose the instinct to kill. The same goes for women in our society because they are put in a bubble of medicalisation of childbirth, consumerism around feeding (formula advertising)they are no more exposed to what is the normal thing to do because breasts are for sex only in our society, so now they too like the caged lion have lost that instinct to BF. We do not blame the women when they have problems and turn to formula but what we can do is try and redress the balance. All these women are trying to do just that and yet all they get is criticism. Just like the Apple Dumplings video which got world wide praise yet was slated on here, they are proud women trying to help. Well done all of them.

I very much support a woman's right to choose how to feed her own baby.
I really struggled to start with and can very well envisage making the switch.
I think it's important that that choice is informed. This is why I challenge when someone posts on here that there's no negative consequences to ff.
I try to do this without malice though.

HappyHippopotamus

I love how those who want to promote BF enough to be attending a flashmob b/f session want a FF mum to help them understand why they chose to FF.

If I had a £1 for every time "can you help me understand why you chose to FF" has cropped up on MN over the many years I've been here under various posting names, well, I'd have enough money for a jolly good night out.

You're still breastfeeding your dc so I'll rashly assume they are under 2. My youngest starts school this year.

You may well find that when breastfeeding does not figure so largely in your life and is some years behind you, the curiosity to know why someone else chose to FF just in case there is something that can be done about their reasons such that they do not lead to other women similarly choosing FF over BF in the future, will reduce.

I made an informed choice of what would be best in my particular circumstances. Everyone's circumstances are unique so asking me to explain myself so that you can be helped to "understand" my reasons for choosing to FF won't help you one jot in the long run, it's just IMHO mistakenly considered an acceptably roundabout way of asking "why didn't you BF ?"

You don't need to understand, you just need to accept that we are all different and live different lives, sometimes the fact they both gave birth is the only thing 2 mums may have in common.

I chose not to breastfeed and I'd do exactly the same again, and as I've already said it was an informed choice. The leaflets setting out the benefits of BF are not the only information that needs considering when making that choice.

I've learned a lot from reading this forum about the different choices that people make in all areas of life and parenting.
It's definitely helpful to share our stories. I was v. judgy when I started posting on MN 3.5 years ago, am much less so now.

TimeWasting 'I think it's important that that choice is informed. This is why I challenge when someone posts on here that there's no negative consequences to ff.'

I hear what you're saying, and I can see why people do this.

The problem is, while there may be negative consequences across society as a whole from FF, for an individual mom who FF it is very unlikely that she will see any negative consequences at all.

I had to FF my boy, he is the healthiest and happiest boy you've ever seen, which took care of any guilt I might have felt. Meanwhile a friend of mine who BF has a DC with asthma who is constantly ill, and she feels emotional about having put so much work into BF and still having a sick child -- because she internalised the message that BF babies are healthy and FF babies get sick.

That's why I wish, on these threads, we could talk about the positives and negatives of BF-FF without any sense of determinism. There are so, so many things that affect health, food is only part of it, and BF-FF is an issue for such a short time in the grand scheme of things.

I'm not saying you shouldn't comment on the negatives, btw. Just saying that the negatives are not automatic, which I think sometimes gets lost in these discussions.

It's not about "ooh look at me" it's about raising awareness of bfing during national breastfeeding week (which the Government have pulled funding for) - the hope is that there will be so many people there that no individual will stand out - and it will show that it's not only "lentil weavy types" (a term a really find insulting)

What most "lactivists" want is more information and support out there to enable people who want to bf to do so... a lot of people (though not all) who have been unable to bf have been let down by poor advice and by getting bfing into the media, the lack of support some people experience can be highlighted... it's not about changing someone's mind who has decided to ff, it's about making sure those who have decided to bf get the support they need to do so...

Totally dreaminbohemian, I aree

Seriously do you just log in to post that Apple Dumplings video link. The website it promotes doesnt even have any info on breastfeeding, its all about the midwife who's idea it was and her private practice.

Ta piglet

Absolutely it's not a given that all ff babies will suffer all the possible negatives. Which is why arguing from anecdote that it makes no difference is misleading.

Yes, but most FF babies will not suffer any negative consequences at least, any that can be reliably attributed to FF itself which is why I think arguing from data can also be misleading. It's one thing to say that the entire national cohort of FF babies has X % higher incidence of Y, it's something else to tell an individual mom that if she FF there will be negative consequences.

I know anecdotes are not data, but data is not deterministic either, which I why I think it's good sometimes to see the anecdotes as well.

That's why it is a risk, not a forgone conclusion. You can't know on an individual basis if a baby would be healthier if they had been fed differently.

No we can't say that there will be negative consequences.
We can say that the risk of negative consequences is higher. It is more likely to happen.

I am attending the flashmob and have to say the first time I even thought about smug being attached to it was when I read these posts. I am a trained BF peer supporter and every week see women struggling to BF. A lot of women go through pain, tears and sometimes physical illness to get BF established and when they get there Why shouldn't they feel proud of what they have achieved. At the same time it doesn't mean they are looking down on people who FF, everyone is entitled to chose how they feed their baby. The uk has one of the lowest BF rates in the world and this is mainly down to lack of support and lack of normalisation. The more positive publicity about women BF can surely only be a positive thing for women trying to or thinking about BF. I am looking on it as a fun afternoon with my baby defiantly not as an opportunity to look down on other mums. It is hard enough being a parent without being hard on each other.

Hope you enjoy the flashmob monkeymum2. I would never dream of being rude to anyone who FFs the way that some people have been rude here about flashmob participants. You are quite right - let's all try to be nicer and more respectful.

Rotten, your post made me smile. The assumption a nursling must be younger than your child going to school this year...

My eldest nursling is going to Y1 this year.

Milame - One womans failure is another womans success.

That is the truest statement ever. I think the moment you become a mother (or parent actually but to a lesser degree for most although not all fathers) you feel guilt, fo some it is feedinf, for others returning to work etc etc.

My points about staying longer in hospital are btw imaginary a) the nhs could never actually accommdate and b) few women (including me) would want to stay in hospital.

just seen the 'wannabe middle class mums comment'..........................the fuck????

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

As the organiser of a similar event in Leeds on Fri, I think I can speak on behalf of all the mums involved in our event, by saying that we are in no way holding this event to make any ff mums feel alienated and we certainly don't feel smug. We are just wanting to let every know about the benefits of breastfeeding, that mums can bf in public without feeling intimidated and are protected by law to be able to feed where we want. We are not anti formula at all - I have used formula in the past. We want to let mums have an informed choice so they can make up their own minds how they feed their children and that support is available if you need it.

If you would like to join us in Leeds though then please feel free to join this group

Please do not join if you cannot support us as this is for the flashmobbers only.

dickiedavisthunderthighs yes I think all mums aware of breastfeeding but not of all the benefits and this is what we're trying to let everyone know. We have the 2nd lowest breastfeeding rates of 35 European countries.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe here's the links to the research showing breastfeeding rates here in the UK
WHO Breastfeeding Facts and Statistics www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/
The Office for National Statistics performs its Infant Feeding Survey every five years. The figures from the 2005 survey were published in March 2008. www.ic.nhs.uk/statistics-and-data-collections/health-and-lifestyles-related-surveys/infant-feeding-survey/infant-feeding-survey-2005

This thread has really upset me, I don't usually join in AIBU but feel I have to.
I had a very rocky start to BF and with no family close by it was only due to the charity lines of NCT and LLL that we managed to carry on BF I was a wreck and if the help on the NHS was there I wouldn't have been and could have enjoyed the first 5 weeks of DS life instead of being in tears for most of it. We saw 8 midwives in the first week of birth and they all told us something different. The HV haven't a clue and there's no money to train them or give them the time to help women who choose to bf.

If you don't want to bf then, FINE! It's your decision but for many women like me who desperately wanted to there is little help available. DS is only 6 months old and already I've been asked a few times 'Are you still bf him??!' in an amazed voice. I would never dream of asking a mum, why are you ff or the like. BF to just 6 months is not seen as normal at all and that is what the mob is trying to promote. I am extremely grateful for the help that I receive and am still receiving from LLL but this should be help I get from the NHS not from a charity.

The local hospital has an abundance of mum and babies admitted due to weightloss because of bf not being established properly. I know as I was one of them and have spoken to a few ladies since. They have had to put us in children's wards, cardiac, renal etc. If there was the help in the first place then the NHS would not have had to spend the money.

These ladies who give up their free time are not being smug at all just passionate. I WILL be there on Friday, I WILL NOT be baring my boobs or 'force feeding' as that's just silly talk but I WILL be proud that I am able to BF and hope that if the awareness helps just one other desperate mum then my time and train fare will be well worth it!

On the force feeding issue, offering the breast between feeds is the same as a FF (and yes some BF babies) being given a dummy. Babies do regulate their intake but eating is not all they do at the breast, they're also capable of soothing themselves. I try to avoid saying I breastfeed (etc) I prefer to say I nurse my babies because it takes the emphasis away from the feeding part and puts it just about spending time at the breast. In here they call it PTB - put to breast - because they don't expect anything from it, just baby spending time at the breast.

Mumnerves, thank you for sharing your story. You've given a "real" version of what I've been trying to say. You also prove why wards like this one are so needed.

mumnerves -hurrah! brillaint post and hope you enjoy the flashfeed thing - you perfectly explained the point of bf promotion - give yourself a huge pat on the back for getting to 6 months too - bf is hard sometimes!

I'm breastfeeding my 8 month old and yes, I'm feeling very smug!!

It was bloody hard work - doubting I had enough milk, pumping and getting nothing out, DS dropping weight and going from 50th to 9th centile, being told to top up, the exhaustion of hourly feeding for the first 2 months.... Need I go on?

If people make an informed decision to FF then that is their decision, but I feel sad for all those who had similar experiences to me but didn't get the right support. Through sheer determination and probably a bit of stubbornness I never reached for the 'just in case' carton of formula - although believe me at 3am I was sometimes close!

I think a lot of the posts on here have an undercurrent of guilt with the fact that they didn't BF, for whatever reason. How people can honestly believe a man made product is superior to nature is beyond me!

Breast is best, yes! But also really challenging, but i survived the first few weeks of hell and we're still going strong. So forgive me for feeling pleased with myself!