Boarding school at four years old?

[mightybright]

SIL works for the MOD and BIL is in the navy. We were at their house on the military base today and she told me that her neighbour has put her 4 year old daughter into boarding school. I said 'four, that's young' and SIL completely freaked out then stormed away from the table.

I'm not judging their neighbour, I don't even know her, I just said it was young which perhaps in hindsight was insensitive but I do feel she overreacted, aibu?

Four is too young-full stop.

yanbu - is your sil thinking of doing the same then? Bit of an over reaction!

No, it is young. Too young, really.

I know someone with an eight year old in boarding school and I can't get my head around that.

I think a wee bit young, yes.

Someone is winding someone up somewhere.

There are no UK boarding schools which take 4 year olds.

MoD does not pay CEA before children are 7/8.

No, their DC's are 8 and 12. Their 12 year old has just started at boarding school as the navy pay.

The thought of my 5 year old being at boarding school makes me want to cry but I'm not from an army background, it would be more normal if that is what your friends and neighbours were doing. Some parents think it preferable to moving the child from school to school every month or so. let people parent the way they want I say.

Their neighbour is a single parent and had to go back to work so put DD into boarding school

There must be more to this, what did sil say when she was freaking out?

Of course 4 is far too young to have a child in boarding school, and if sil is considering it then she obviously has issues with it herself. If she was confident that it would be a good thing to do, she wouldn't feel the need to freak out while trying to justify it.

My dad went at 7 and I think that is harsh.

He was miserable until he was 13 and went to next school where he had a good housemaster who took an interest in him.

I don't think that can be the reason mighty, why not get a nanny?

This is the second thread about boarding schools for 4yr olds this week.

There are some English based private schools that take boarders from Y1 - that would be 5yo. Most are from age 7y up. Not seen any from 4y yet though.

I work for a SP in the army and could understand that this may be an option re childcare for the child. Short notice exercises lasting anything from 2 nights to 3 weeks, working long days 7.30-6.30, deployments, working nights on guard duty. If the parent doesn't have relatives close by/who can help then surely this is the better way of ensuring care/continuity of education instead of being shipped off to gp's every coupld of weeks. It would be sad but understandable.

Boarding schools: www.ukboardingschools.com/

She said that the mother had no option, it was her job and she needed to work, I was a bit too to take much of what she said it

Of course the Mother had an option. Working in the military is surely not the only thing she could possible do for work. But perhaps she care more about her job than her very young child. Sad, but happens.

that was meant to read 'what she said in '

As there are no UK boarding schools which take 4 year olds, there must be a misunderstanding. Perhaps she has a childminder who will do overnights?

I think the military is a red herring here - they pay fees only for over-8s.

bubblecoral - Well I would have though so, I know I wouldn't be able to do it but I really don't know the ins and outs of her situation.

No she had to go away for work, not just nights. I'm not sure what she does, something in the navy though.

Remember the military offers other perks ie a house, a steady job, and more or less school holidays off - xmas/easter/august so is probably a good career for a SP. She may not be able to afford childcare/mortgage etc in a civillian job / she may be half way through her agreed sign up.

Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean it's wrong.

If you are in the military you have to give a lot of notice to resign, I had to give 18 months so maybe she is stuck?