Boarding school at four years old?

[mightybright]

SIL works for the MOD and BIL is in the navy. We were at their house on the military base today and she told me that her neighbour has put her 4 year old daughter into boarding school. I said 'four, that's young' and SIL completely freaked out then stormed away from the table.

I'm not judging their neighbour, I don't even know her, I just said it was young which perhaps in hindsight was insensitive but I do feel she overreacted, aibu?

I have a 4 year old. No way on Earth would he go to boarding school, that is FAR too early, they're still so little at that age and there's no way they should be sent away to school at the age of 4.

I think if my child struggled at school, ie showed signs of not managing, the last thing I'd think about is sending them away. Talk about crippling self esteem. Adn at eight? You have one child and could ahve moved.....end of.

zlaya no offence taken. However, as my DH is an immigrant most of his friends do not have any extended family in this country at all. I have moved for work and my siblings are hundreds of miles away with families of their own.

In an ideal world people will turn to extended family but I think for a fair number of people that just isn't an option.

Maybe people don't rely on their parents because their parents are infirm, older or have a life of their own and can't always change plans to fit in with you. A reasonable number of parents, whilst willing to help in a crisis, would not want to spend their retirement looking after grandchildren.

Point....I think you are pretty much deluded.

Why do you have to be so combative? Why is your way of parenting the only way? I've just remembered where you cropped up last- on the nursery thread- saying "oh my goodness. Thank God I never had to put my little darlings in day care"

Maybe you should take a look at yourself before you criticise everybody else's choices- LT SAHM with 5 kids. Getting a bit nervous about what you'll do when the last one leaves per chance? You just cling on to them. Heaven forbid they should ever stop needing you to tuck them in.

Don't quote me TheBride unless you actually quote me, what you've done is very dishonest.

As I said I honestly did not mean any harm by what I said and I have full understanding for your situation, I on the other am lucky, my mother comes and stays with us almost every weekend, she alternates between me and my sister to look after children, which is very kind of her, she says "I worked all my life, never had enough time for two of you(me and my sister) and now am making sure I have all the time in the world for my grandchildren" Now don't be fooled it's not without it's problems, when she comes to stay, she rearranges kitchen cupboards, she has very strong points as discipline is concerned, but I stay out of her way and let her get on with it, she is a good grandmother and very unselfish, I don't always agree with her for everything that she does. I had a very strong bond with my grandmother in fact I did not differentiate till the age of five who is the mum and who is the grandma, never did me any harm, I hope for the same with my children, point institution or IF possible family, yes please.

My children are fiercely independent, thanks. SAHM does not mean no life....

Zlaya - depends what you compare it to. Compared to interacting with real people, or doing voluntary work then, yes, MNing isn't the most productive thing in the world when done for entertainment value. Different if you're looking for support or advice.

CinnabarRed, you have wicked sense of humour, thank you for that, you actually made smile

zlaya you are lucky and your mum sounds lovely.
However, based on my family and friends your situation may not be the norm any more than my situation of having no extended family on either my or DH's side within easy reach is probably not the norm either.

Again you are lucky to have strong bond with your grandmother my grandparents died when I was young and my 3yr old has no living grandparents at all.

We are probably at either ends of the continuum and so I think it is difficult to apply either of our experiences to everyone else and assume they are faced with the same choices and options.

Fully agree with you on that one, she is one in million I also agree with you people are faced with difficulties everyday of there lives and trying to the best they can. We had misfortune, money wise couple of years ago and if it was not for my mum to come and stay, (she enabled us to work all the hours god has given) we would have been in very real problems today if together at all, so as long as you can use any resources, help wise I am all for it.

".......boarding schools are horrid, nasty places."

bizarre to have such strong opinions on something you obviously know so little about

Just seen this thread and couldn't help but post. A few people have mentioned that nowhere accepts boarders as young as 4. However, having worked in a boarding school for this last year I can say that this specific school accepted military children from as young as 4. The school is now expecting another 4 year old to start boarding in Sept. Having a child under the age of 5 boarding means that certain regulations need to be put in place however, such as a baby monitor and picture chart of their day to day routine. Although it is very sad to see children so young in boarding you often need to look at the bigger picture and understand that some of these children receive more love and affection within boarding than they do at home, a harsh reality to accept, but a very true one in some cases. I don't believe that you can either agree nor disagree with boarding so young unless you look at the child's individual home circumstances. In one case a child coming to boarding enabled them to be highlighted as a social services case, meaning that although they may move on from the school they will always be protected throughout their life and had they had not boarded this may not have ever come into light.

Putting a child into a boarding school at 4yr corrupts normal family life into a parody.

That's an interesting point re: Social Services getting involved sam.

2 year old Zombie thread.

4 is young to board BUT we do not all have the same circumstances and live in the same way. In some situations it may be the best thing for the child or it may just be a parental choice - every day we make choices about our children and we do not all have to agree with each other.

There was recently a cruel mother who went 'batshit crazy' on her 4 year old for eating an easter egg - is this dreadful home life inflicted on this child worse than boarding? Less damaging? I think not.

As usual there is hysteria and mud slinging at those who might do something other than the norm. Some children thrive as boarders and some do not.

a) Old thread

b) No school anywhere in UK boards 4 year olds.

NO MATTER HOW HARD PEOPLE LOOK NO-ONE'S FOUND A SCHOOL IN THE UK THAT CURRENT ACCEPTS 4 YEAR OLDS

Not true. Queen Ethelburga's in Yorkshire takes boarders from reception age (so that's aged 4.)
Just looked at the website now. Just sayin'.

This thread is nearly 2 years old!

Just saying.

Oops, missed that bit. Is there a rule on here that we're not allowed to answer questions or reply to a thread in general if it's deemed 'old?'
Never understand all the shouts of 'zombie thread!' on here.

Independent schools census shows no boarders under age 7 anywhere in UK. Just sayin'

There might be one school which advertises that it takes them younger. But none actually doing it.