Boarding school at four years old?

[mightybright]

SIL works for the MOD and BIL is in the navy. We were at their house on the military base today and she told me that her neighbour has put her 4 year old daughter into boarding school. I said 'four, that's young' and SIL completely freaked out then stormed away from the table.

I'm not judging their neighbour, I don't even know her, I just said it was young which perhaps in hindsight was insensitive but I do feel she overreacted, aibu?

I've got a 3yo and the thought of her boarding next year would be heartbreaking, im only just getting my head around the idea of her going to school at all! They are babies at that age, how can sending your child to boarding school when they are so dependent on their parents be good for their development? How very very sad. I can understand that childcare whilst a single parent in the army would be very difficult but (and I'll probably get flamed for this) for goodness sake put the child first and change careers if necessary!

MissTina Easier said than done, you have to either work your whole contract or give a LOT of notice, in my case 18 months.

This school takes Y1 boarders but says it will consider taking younger children!

'the military offers....probably a good career for a SP'

No no no what happens if you get called to a war zone and killed! It is a terrible career choice for a SP.Singularly bad!

She may have sent her to boarding school but as a day pupil?

I guess if you do this you have no choice.

Do not get why your SIL would strop though . Most peoples first reaction would be thats young - but as an age thing not as a judging what they do thing iyswim?

Very glad to hear pupils can board from 7 - the way my almost 7yo is behaving atm

I think its wrong. Little children need their parents.

YADNBU - horrendous

I can't believe it costs £6000 a term to board Are these children being fed caviar and sleeping in 4 poster beds with eider down covers.

I thought normal school was too much for my dd when she was 4.

I went to boarding school at 9, my brother went at 8, my dad went at 5. Every time we left for school (long haul flight), my mum cried but we didn't.

Does anyone know how having a 4 year old at boarding school works? What if they got up in the night, are they in a room on their own, who cuddles them, what if there are no other children their age?

I wonder if the neighbour had been crying on SIL's shoulder about it and SIL thought I was judging the woman?

Parietal - why didn't you cry, if you don't mind me asking?

I doubt anyone would know - unless they have boarded children on schools based overseas. It is very, very, very rare for a UK boarding school to take a child under 7.

mightybright - that comment (29:05:52) was in response to your post at 20:03:35 (not the one immediately above, with which it crossed).

fairydoll - That school sounds utterly vile, just read the bit about boarding

when I was at school in the late 80s my prep school took young boarders.

I remember one of the boys from my year (a really macho type) being called over to the pre-prep because his sister was upset. she was 3. and not the only young boarder.

there were 8 or 10 pre-prep age boarders, iirc, aged from 3-6.

growingstrawberries - three years old? What did her parents do?

Isn't it neglectful to have a child only to fob them off to a boarding school at the age of four to harm them psychologically for life?

It's disgusting, seriously, far too young.

they were overseas, mightybright - an African family.

the whole family was there. the boy in my year was the eldest, at 12, then his younger siblings were 10, 8 and 3.

Yanbu.

I have just finished reading the memoirs of an old boss of mine who was sent away to boarding school at 6/7 ish in the 1950s - and even then it was seen as horribly early.

Poor man had such a terrible home life that he actually preferred boarding school but ... that's not to recommend it, is it?

I went to boarding school from the age of five.

Any child of mine would go to boarding school over my dead body, at any age.

I went to boarding school at 5 because my mum died and my dad's work took him away a lot. The vast majority of boarders were from forces families and the school was intended to be very much a home from home wherever possible.

I was the youngest boarder by at least a year and it scared me at first but I got used to it. My sister was there with me (she was 7) and the matrons were all very good. I boarded from the age of 5-18 so I've basically never lived at home.

There is no way in the world I would ever choose to send DD to boarding school. I know my father had his reasons, but I feel like I missed out on so much by being away from home

leo likewise. The only difference is that my sister didn't board and I did.

YANBU. I'm very anti-boarding as a rule,but this is particuarly disturbing. I can't understand how anyone could do that.

I've posted this before,from a boarding school website. It makes me shudder how they talk of children as an incovenience and little more.

''At home these days often both parents work. It is even more difficult if you are a single parent family.
It is human nature to get tired. Running a job, running a house, buying the groceries, washing the clothes, supervising homework, and still having the energy to play with them and take them on trips so every waking hour of every day is packed full of enjoyment and learning?'

'Ensure they get washed, toe nails cut, hair done nicely, home projects for school completed ~ and a nice relaxing bed time story???? To achieve all this nowadays you have to be superman or superwomen!!'

'A recent study showed that paying the extra to board your child rather than send them as a day pupil is money well spent and can in fact save you money overall. Parents often forget just what it costs to keep and bring up a child these days. Boarding is a very sensible option. How many parents find they often become a glorified taxi driver for their children?'