AIBU to think that 11 year old primary school children do not need this level of sex education?

[ZhenXiang]

Friends DS came home with a leaflet that had been handed out at school (aimed at girls, but he took it because of the content). It contained:

-Advice telling the girls to get a mirror and examine their genital area plus -picture of said area
-Information about discharge and STI's
-Information about going further with your boyfriend and masturbation
-Advice about contraception
-Advice and information about homosexual relationships
-Pictures of people in fairly intimate positions
-Information telling children that if they tell a doctor or a teacher that they are having sex that they are not allowed to tell their parents

Given that the law is that children should not be having sex until 16 and that this is a primary school I was a bit shocked that this information was being handed out without the parents knowledge. I would expect that this sort of content would be dealt with in secondary school in year 8 or 9 (that was when we had it when I was at school).

What do you think?

Sorry it was a sarcastic shocked because I do think it's perfectly sensible.

Being as I lost my virginity at 13, as did a lot of girls I know, I think it is exactly the right age personally.

The leaflet sounds fantastic! Wish we'd have had something like that when I was at school.

Bullet why do you think that? just curious. I was a very naive and under-confident 13 year old, and I don't think I was mature enough emotionally to be able to make such a decision. And I believe it should be a decision [as an aside, I know it's just what we say, but there is something problematic about the idea that your virginity is something you 'lose', as opposed to being in control of yourself]

I agree with the posts about self-respect and empowerment - I want my DD to be confident and proud of her sexuality - whatever that turns out to be - and to be able to decide how she wants to use, and who with. I want her to enjoy being young and beautiful, not to be tormented and fearful as I was. Again, understanding the principle of consent is critical. And once again, I think these things probably have to be imparted at home, as well as in other contexts: a leaflet can't teach self-respect, but it can give crucial information.

5nteresting that it was "a friend's ds"

Presumably that means we don;t know exacty which leaflet and so can't look it up to find out exactly what it said.

Sounds sensible to me.

We may not like it (lost childhoods, wasn't like that in my day, blah blah) but the fact is that attitudes towards teen sex are much healthier these days. No such thing as a mother-baby unit or UNBIASED information in a great quantity when I was at school - which isn't THAT long ago.

Hurrah, I say. I'm at some of these posters who are saying "isn't year 9 better for this sort of thing?" - the motive for posting such things is purely down to the poster's own motivations and judgement. Absolutely no basis on which is the best age for the child to receive that information.

Pull your prudish heads out of your arses and look at how things work for your average 13, 14, and 15 year old these days. Stop looking at what you want early teens to act like, and look at what they do act like.

I'm glad the OP's school have thought about putting the needs of their kids first, than what we all hope (not needed until much later).

My yr5 dd knows most of that stuff already as I,ve told her all about it. Only thing I haven't covered is different sex positions. But she knows about sex, pregnancy and how to avoid it. We spoke about masterbation as she went through a stage of constantly fiddling and I had to tell her it was fine but please not at the dinner table.

She knows about periods and we've spoken briefly about any unusual discharge, etc needs to be checked out. I had thrush when I was 11 so thank god for mizz magazine or whatever it was called or I wouldn't have had a clue.

seeker it is linked to earlier in the thread.

ZX - Oh I see, makes sense now

Seeker, the leaflet has already been linked to somewhere.
If you do a google for 4girls fpa or 4boys fpa for the boy version, you can see them.

X-posts

Agree with fgaaagh.

Another here in favour of it- My DD (11) started going through puberty at 7 so I've already had a general 'talk' about how your body changes as you grow up- we did it so she wasn't scared of the changes her body was going through.

Knowing my DD and a lot of her friends , male and female very well, as well as working in a school (primary) I will say Children are maturing a lot earlier now, and their knowledge of sex is greater at a younger age too.

My DD is in Yr6 and they are having sex ed lessons- I was upset earlier this year ,as were a lot of her friends parents, that they were missing their sex ed lessons to revise for the SATS they had in May. In my personal opinion, learning about how your body matures, the emotional aspect of puberty, peer pressure, and finally sex education and health lessons are FAR more important than an extra bit of revision for SATS.

Sadly children nowadays are maturing earlier- yes this is sad but it's the truth, and kids need to have the full facts in front of them, good and bad so they can make an informed choice. I have an open relationship with my DD for that very reason.

Forewarned is fore armed in my book.

Actually I remember the book 'Have you started yet?' and iirc that leaflet is at about the same level.

Most well thumbed book in the school library

my daughter is 11 and i have no problem with her having that lvl of sex ed. there is nothing wrong with her exploring her vagina if she wishes to do so, there wouldnt be anything sexual in it. there is nothing wrong with knowing that sex has nasty consequence's such as sti etc. my best friend at school lost her virginity at 12 so these things do happen. it doesnt effect her childhood sometimes she has questions, mostly she comes home and says mum you will never guess what we learned today, yuk. which we both giggle about. but its there for her to think about in the future for when her brain starts to process it differently.

I've just read the 4boys leaflet - I think that's fine too. Nothing in there that i haven't already discussed with my 9 year old.

Sorry, missed the link.

Surprised this was given out a Primary school - and I would be amazed if it was without parents knowing about it in advance. it's designed for 12+ and is absolutely fine for that age.

I'm all for proper sex education; but this seems too much too young. Biology and puberty feel right for 11 year-olds.

Sounds like nothing more than that which was contained in the Usborne book The Facts of Life which my mum bought me when I was 11.

It doesn't mean the end of childhood just because you have the correct information rather than what is bandied about around the playground.

Kids are only "maturing earlier" because we are bigger, stronger and better nourished than we ever have been. I don't think this is a bad thing overall!

YABU

My dd is 11. I would have no problem with her being given information on any or all of those topics.

pointissima it seems much too young to you. Biology / puberty feel right to you.

But none of that is rooted in what is best for today's children. Or what average 12 year old need to know.

I do wish posters would enforce some degree of seperation between what they wish the world were like, as opposed to what it is like.

Ideally, I'd want my children to lose their virginities whenever they feel ready, with a partner who respects them, in a safe environment, etc - I will do everything within my power to ensure they don't get tangled in some of the pitfalls modern teenages get trapped by when starting out on the rocky road of relationships. But above all that, I need to give them the information they need to navigate along that road. That's my responsibility, and one which I'm glad this country's schools will help with. However, it is naive to constantly link what we want for them vs. what the world is.

Too much information is ALWAYS better than too little.

seeker - indeed!

There's 2 bits of our (very limited) sex ed classes that I remember many many years later - one was the video of a woman having a baby (traumatised me for years and much more effective than any of the other ads which have later been developed to put kids off sex until they're older, imho ) and the other one was medical slides of STIs.

TMI perhaps for some. But for me those "images" sunk in so deeply I still remember them all these years later!

Biology and puberty feel right for 11 year-olds girls can start their periods at 9. Lots of ds's mates are 'hairy' according to him and a couple of them are positively men! ( very tall, huge feet and voices all over the place at 10/11)

For those of you saying it's too young, why do you feel that way?

For me, really you want to teach kids this stuff at least when they start puberty, if not before. And kids are starting puberty earlier now.