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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why more people don't have birthday parties at home for their children?

155 replies

suebfg · 09/06/2011 20:25

Maybe it's a phenomenon where I live but all the parties my DS has been invited to (he's rising 4 yrs old) are at play barns/gyms. I find these so impersonal - what has happened to the traditional birthday party with pass the parcel, musical statues etc? Please tell me it's still out there.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 09/06/2011 20:26

Im guessing a lot of it is the parents not wanting the mess in there house. And of course some "keeping up with the Joneses" will probably come into it!

nowwearefour · 09/06/2011 20:26

I do them at home exactly like that for my dd's. Some people dont enjoy all the clearing up maybe?

thestringcheeseincident · 09/06/2011 20:27

I don't have them as my house isn't big enough for 15-20 kids rampaging around. I do have little mini tea parties etc, but anything on a larger scale is done out. I also like not having to do the food and party bags and the like.

Choufleur · 09/06/2011 20:28

Because if we go somewhere else we can turn up, have fun, make a mess and leave and I still have a home to go to.

Littlepurpleprincess · 09/06/2011 20:28

25 over excited, wound up, sugar filled, noisy, messy children, in my tiny (converted garage) house.

lol.

troisgarcons · 09/06/2011 20:28

I never did - because I dont want my home trashed by 30-odd 5yo's on the rampage, spilling jelly, treading in cake ..... and it's worth 2 hours of exhorbitant money to get a bloke to get a rabbit out of a hat - and someone else clears up the mess.

ANd if, like me, you had two children within a year - no way on gods green earth would I have 60 of the hyped up little horrors ramapaging as soon as their mothers dropped them off and went away for two hours peace and quite!

Original poster
suebfg · 09/06/2011 20:29

I love the planning of a party but I do restrict numbers. So DS is having max of eight for his party (because the packs of plates, cups etc come in eights!)

OP posts:
celebmum · 09/06/2011 20:30

DS had his party at home! In the lounge/garden with family and friends, Toys, balloons and a cold buffet!

It was just his first birthday though Grin but I intend on having party's this way as long as I can!

FakePlasticTrees · 09/06/2011 20:30

We are holding DS's party at home, but we have the space, all the friends parties we've gone to that are at other locations than home, I know the parents live in smaller houses so assume they don't feel they have the space to invite everyone they want too.

Riveninside · 09/06/2011 20:30

I do but only invite 6 kids. Dd turned seven recently 6 kids, 2 hoirs.

activate · 09/06/2011 20:31

if you have a single child who is 4 I must say you don't have much experience

I have 4 children up to the age of 16 and I think I remember feeling like you and then I stopped having birthday parties at home when DS1 turned 5 (or possibly 6) it's all dim and distant

home parties are a mess, loud, a lot of work, a pain in the ass, there's always a couple of children whose parents don't turn up for hours it seems and the kids prefer to be somewhere else

Funtimewincies · 09/06/2011 20:31

Because life would be dull if we were all the same Grin.

I've done home parties but I'm a teacher and entertaining 5 or 6 over-excited children for a couple of hours doesn't phase me. I'd never expect anyone else to do it if they didn't enjoy it though. What's the point if you're going to be unhappy or stressed during the party, no-one will have a good time?

redskyatnight · 09/06/2011 20:31

Reception DD has been to more "home" parties than other type this year.
I can see for Reception children in particular if your child has not formed particular friends you may end up with too many potential invitees to fit in your house.

Rebecca41 · 09/06/2011 20:31

It's still out there - I did it for DS's 5th birthday - but it was very hard work and my house was destroyed! His 6th is going to be in the village hall, with a paid entertainer.

EldonAve · 09/06/2011 20:31

our house is too small
garden tiny too

MuddlingMackem · 09/06/2011 20:32

YANBU to ask, but I think YABU to think other people should.

In our case it's because if we have a party at home it's a maximum of about three or four other kids for eating, but there's no room for them all to play, so not much of a party.

If we had a lovely big house, with a nice big garden, then believe me we'd always have parties at home. But we haven't, so we can't, and that's just how it is. Having said that, we've never yet done one officially at a soft play, we've customised, only official one was at a bowling alley and it was like a production line, so impersonal. :-/

Hatesponge · 09/06/2011 20:32

Not wanting the mess at home - or having enough room for 20 or so kids in your house are probably the main reasons.

I used to have parties at home for the DSs when they were younger, but only because their birthdays are April and August. Weather was usually good enough that we could base the party in the garden rather than the house!

needanewname · 09/06/2011 20:34

the mess
the stress
the having to do it all myself because DH was a complete shit at the last party we did at home - huge row!!!!
and again the mess!

Meglet · 09/06/2011 20:35

My house isn't big enough. It's cramped with just me and 2 toddlers.

mouseanon · 09/06/2011 20:35

I have done but the last time I did it some of the children were so badly behaved I decided that was the last!

Pancakeflipper · 09/06/2011 20:37

I had the crazy idea idea of having 13 of my then 5 yr old's friends for a party in our house. It was Winter, freezing and raining so we had to stay indoors.

The mothers thought I was mad. With hindsight they were right.

It was lovely. Loud. Crazy. Nothing damaged but we planned/ removed and brought in mates to help. We secretly swigged wine in the kitchen.

It still cost alot though. I thought it would be far cheaper but it wasn't.....

The following year we hired somewhere.

ohsolonely · 09/06/2011 20:38

My DDs always had a party at home! A small one with only 5/6 guests because obviously I didnt want a class of 30 kids in my front room.

I think alot of people these days are too scared to just pick a certain number of friends and feel pressured to do the whole class thing!

I have never had an issue with anyone being put out (to my knowledge). I have always made it very clear - we can only have X amount because its at home!

Its a bit like the party bag thing - most mums hate them, they are full of shite but everyone still does them! The rebel in me put a stop to them by the time my youngest hit 7. One child did approach me and ask for her party bag upon leaving and I just said there were none, she was taking he cake and a balloon home instead! I really dont give a shit if anyone thinks I am tight, I just resent the extra expense of complete tat! Once I stopped one or two other mums stopped them as well!

mouseanon · 09/06/2011 20:38

Oh and, it was ok when they were small enough for parents to stay with. Then they were responsible for keeping them in line. Once they were big enough to be left alone, that's when it got troublesome. Plus 2 parents were more than 30 mins late to collect. The last one to leave was the worst behaved, funnily enough.

Firawla · 09/06/2011 20:38

a lot of people don't have big enough houses. i would rather do a bday party in a soft play or something along those lines, as we live in a flat and no real garden etc. i have had parties at home but with my own friends and their children if it was people from nursery or school and i didnt know the mums so well i would rather do it somewhere else. the place has been a real mess after having parties here but atleast with my own friends they help to clean it up, cant expect that after a bday party and also wouldn't want people to judge the house or anything? those who have a nice big house and garden then its more suited to do parties easily, esp if its summer and can go in the garden.
i dont see anything wrong with softplay etc type parties, its still a fun party for the children

Funtimewincies · 09/06/2011 20:38

Thinking back to the late 70s/early 80s, I only went to parties in houses that were big enough to take a party. The children who lived in small houses or where there were several children (so more crowded) just didn't have birthday parties, because playbarn, etc. facilities didn't exist in my rural backwater neck of the woods.