Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why more people don't have birthday parties at home for their children?

155 replies

suebfg · 09/06/2011 20:25

Maybe it's a phenomenon where I live but all the parties my DS has been invited to (he's rising 4 yrs old) are at play barns/gyms. I find these so impersonal - what has happened to the traditional birthday party with pass the parcel, musical statues etc? Please tell me it's still out there.

OP posts:
CocktailQueen · 09/06/2011 23:58

Well, we have just had 28 kids for ds's 4th bday to a party at our house but we have a nice big lounge and garden so they could play there/outoors easily and safely! In our last house, no way! I agree, I like house parties and I enjoy the planning and even clearing up, but it IS easier having partirs at a farm/soft play etc.

CocktailQueen · 09/06/2011 23:59

Well, we have just had 18 kids for ds's 4th bday to a party at our house but we have a nice big lounge and garden so they could play there/outdoors easily and safely! In our last house, no way! I agree, I like house parties and I enjoy the planning and even clearing up, but it IS easier having parties at a farm/soft play etc.

royaljelly · 10/06/2011 00:09

1 word..... MESS

5DollarShake · 10/06/2011 00:15

Goodness OP, you can't have much imagination if you can't work out why some people want to have their parties outside their homes. Grin

Plus, you only have one 3 year old. Surely you can see it's different for families of older, or more children?

FWIW I have only had parties at home so far and intend to keep doing so, but can definitely understand why others don't do that.

startail · 10/06/2011 00:35

Because some idiot started the tradition that you have to invite the whole class and the girls birthdays are in the winter. I have a garden big enough for a bouncy castle, but not a huge house. 30 children spread out round a house with stairs and steps in odd places and junk everywhere is not a recipe for peace.
10 "sensible" Y5/6 girls crafting I've done a couple of times and that was fine (but even then DD2 probably offended someone by insisting on a number that would all squash just into the dinning room)

DontCallMePeanut · 10/06/2011 00:43

My house is tiny. It barely fits me and DS... In fact, any more than 3 visitors, and I feel claustrophobic.

Add to that, I can't cook for shit. Nor can I organise a finger buffet. So, if I have DS's party at a playbarn, they sort the food out, the house oesn't get trashed, and everyone's happy.

EttiKetti · 10/06/2011 03:54

We have two dogs. Say no more.

southofthethames · 10/06/2011 04:08

Our home is too small. Unless it's just a party for 5 kids (no parents) who are happy to watch a movie on tv for entertainment? That'll be for when they're teens. I must admit some playbarns/gyms we've been to were rubbish when it came to the food and cake part, but basically the kids go there for the games and activity really.

sleepywombat · 10/06/2011 04:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunnydelight · 10/06/2011 05:21

I think the size of the average UK home plus unpredictable weather make parties at home stressful for all but the brave. Certainly when I lived in England I didn't do at home parties after the age of 3. The best parties I have hosted have been here in Oz for DD who now has a Summer birthday (Feb). We had 20 kids (and about 15 mums staying) with a bouncy castle and "English afternoon tea" for her 6th, and a big pool party for her 8th. BUT nobody had to come in the house except to use the loo and I used disposable everything so it was really just a case of going round with bin bags after (which was mostly done by the mums who stayed as they were very happy to have had an afternoon of fizz, chat and yummy food).

Poshbaggirl · 10/06/2011 06:04

Nearly all the 28 parties i've done have been at home. I have 2 children 18 and 10. No Kids dont have 30+ friends, they have aquaintances and classmates. Most kids have a handfull of friends. More than 10 and you're not doing it for your child, you're doing it for your own ego. It's rare to have more than 1 or 2 friends round ever, so more than that is a treat. Wheres the fun for anyone with industrial parties, with s**t food and a plastic bag with rubbish in it. More parents should do a more personal thing. Focus on what your child really likes, doing some painting, playing hide n seek, treasure hunt, when older pamper parties etc. Dont follow the crowd everyone! I completely agree with OP.

Poshbaggirl · 10/06/2011 06:12

.....and if you get involved in this 'all the class mentality' you will find every single weekend ruined by your child's social calender.

Original poster
suebfg · 10/06/2011 06:26

'suebfg, would you have had 20 kids at your house as a kid?'

Think it was about 10 - 12 kids from memory. But you don't have to bow down to pressure to invite everybody ....

Just to set the context, many of DS's friends have large houses and gardens (much larger than ours) and they have all had parties in playbarns so I don't think the size of the house/garden is the deciding factor.

OP posts:
mummytime · 10/06/2011 06:34

I have done them at home. If it is a "invite the class" party the only way is at a soft play place. However I also like most of the entertaining to be done by others, and I can relax and just chat to the kids over the tea. I am also busy, so a party out takes up about 3 hours total time, a party at home takes 5-6 hours with all the preparations and clear up.

TotallyLovely · 10/06/2011 12:40

Poshbaggirl More than 10 and you're not doing it for your child, you're doing it for your own ego

I don't agree with that. When they have only just started school their "friends" haven't been decided yet, it can take a while. As for me when I was planning the party I mentioned up thread, I didn't want to leave out the large number of SN children in the class so it was either have a tiny party (not possible as DD loves everyone and has loads of mates) or invite the whole class.

MrsKravitz · 10/06/2011 12:53

My house is too bloody small

MrsKravitz · 10/06/2011 12:54

My son has a lot more than 10 friends and he is only 6

skybluepearl · 10/06/2011 12:56

i'd love to but my kids have too many friends and a small house

MrsKravitz · 10/06/2011 12:58

I also have a rather child unfriendly house as I have an only child and havent had to bother with safety stuff etc for some time. There is always someone who wants to bring toddlers and preschoolers so going out means they can bring them and I dont have to worry about their kids opening all of my cupboards etc.

chickenlickin · 10/06/2011 13:01

I asked my DD if she wanted her party the local hall but she said she really wanted it at her house! We have a little house but just have a few kids and she loves it as she doesn't like big crowds as is quite shy!

cuteboots · 10/06/2011 13:02

Id love to have an at home party but my house is built for oompa loompas and even the garden is well small. The last party we hired a hall and let them run around like mad. We did play the tradional games though!!

MrsKravitz · 10/06/2011 13:03

I tried one once and I didnt have enough seating for the adults...they sat on the floor, I was so apologetic

iklboo · 10/06/2011 13:04

I live in a Victorian end of terrace with no garden and a back yard that's slightly bigger than a wheelie bin. The house feels full if just one of DS's friends comes round to play.

GrownUpNow · 10/06/2011 13:04

Well, I am planning a party (at my mums house) for about nine children, and am currently sitting here panicking about the weather as there really isn't room inside, and I was having it at mums because she has the bigger garden. Will have a gazebo tent thingie up, a covered bouncy castle, and will just have to make do if it is wet.

TotallyLovely · 10/06/2011 13:06

MrsKravitz I wouldn't worry about that, won't hurt a few people to sit on the floor!