To ask why more people don't have birthday parties at home for their children?

[suebfg]

Maybe it's a phenomenon where I live but all the parties my DS has been invited to (he's rising 4 yrs old) are at play barns/gyms. I find these so impersonal - what has happened to the traditional birthday party with pass the parcel, musical statues etc? Please tell me it's still out there.

Gay40 ! Did you really say that my lighthearted suggestions were "utter bollocks"?! How rude!

This bit interested me: The clincher: having to make boring, mundane and false smalltalk with people you have nothing in common with, bar having a child in the same class at school. . . .

When you are hosting a party you don't have the time to make small talk, so I am quessing this means you don't attend parties eithers as that must be where you avoid the small talk you are referring to.

No, the utter bollocks wasn't at your comments...more at the thought of parties in general.
I don't go to parties - not my thing.

Just also to point out that if you have children of different ages - sometimes you have to or want to invite the older or younger siblings of your DCs' friends, and they may not always find the party games you put on enjoyable, so playgyms or softplay areas are good in that way. If you are just inviting the classmates of the same age from your DC' school or nursery, then it isn't so much of a problem - usually. That said, a friend of ours had a party at her house, and even after careful planning of party games and lots of outdoor toys in their massive garden, the whole house looked trashed downstairs, bin overflowing, etc. even when the parents tried to tidy up after their own kids. And the stuff she had bought to entertain and feed the guests didn't look cheaper than the soft play gym. That said, you can often end up "losing" guests at a soft play area as the children play where they want, so when they gather together for tea, the birthday child sometimes gets a bit surprised to see who has turned up! (not that that is a bad thing). To each his own. The main thing is that children and organising parents have a nice time, and not feel pressured to do what they don't feel comfortable with, whether that be goody bags, pass the parcel or play gym.

oh i am so with you on this sue

so annoying - tomorrow we have to drive 15 miles to a farm park .... sunday afternoon - take all our other dcs

annoying - what's wrong with a tea party after school?

Totallylovely - I say we are not set up for him: we have no presents for him in pass the parcel, and have no buns for him, and no party bag for him either. Also the princess games won't suit so if you don't mind, it would be fairer on him not to be here - he'll be the only boy, yadda yadda.

If it's a little girl, I don't mind too much, but really hate that some parents think a softplay party for your DD is childcare for all their family. Especially as it's £15 or more per child. Sometimes parents have offered to pay for the extra siblings in the softplay centre, and I'm ok with that too, so long as they don't think I'll be happy jollying their younger (or older) kids along, wiping their noses, or taking them to the loo, or with the older ones, putting up with their bored attitoooood.
I'll happily help the invited children. DD's class has 26 so that's quite enough for me. Most have sibs. I have put 'sorry, no sibs' on invites, as I have been burned.

I like the idea of a tea party at the school and a disco - three or four songs with the lights on a little glitterball, a few games, diluted fruit juice and cake.

because my house is too small.

ffs

DD invited 14 to her party and even though our house is big enough - I didn't want 14 children round my house charging round and being noisy.

If she wants parties at home in the future she'll have to invite less friends.

We've been invited to several parties this year - some play barns and some at home.

We wouldn't have fitted everyone in, in the early years when the number of children to invite is greater and parents want to stay.

Now they're bigger we have smaller parties for established friends (more of a treat and a sleepover than an actual party). When you don't have to provide for hovering parents, you halve the numbers and much more becomes possible.

Reading MadamDeathStare's 6th birthday post - has made me realise the true reason why I don't do home birthday parties.

The only birthday party I had at home (all other parties were at ice rinks/bowling alley/village hall etc so this is not a new thing (70s/80s) or we were ahead of the game) was for my 9th.

My friends jumped all over the furniture, terrorised the dogs, everyone moaned about the party games and said they were stupid, and one girl spent the whole time whinging about her wrist. When her Doc mum came to pick her up, she pointed out that it looked like the wrist was broken and promptly took her down to A&E!!!!! That was my worst party ever.

Right time to book the venues for this year!!

I agree with SGM lots of space let them run around and get exhaused and dirty. I always told guests to come in old clothes.
Home was fine until about 6 but then you don't have space-or not for 12 boys!
Judging by present threads I don't think I would want it at home since parents seem to want to clutter it up drinking wine or stay for 20 mins to risk assess you!

We had themed home parties for the first 5 years for DS (July birthday so perfect in the garden), then when he was 6 he wanted a bowling party, at 7 he took 5 friends to the cinema instead (and Burger King), and at 8 he wants a sleepover.

DD has had parties at home so far (3), but as she has a December birthday, this is less appealing as we're stuck indoors. Last year we had a craft corner which was hugely popular with the 3 year old guests, and surprisingly un-messy. This year we're hiring an indoor bouncy castle in a village hall and doing it all away from home.

I loved the home parties, but TBH they are a lot of hassle, and people do tend to hang around afterwards a lot.

We had one at home for ds1 at about 5 yo, the crap weather meant it was all indoors and the kids turned the house upside down. And then there were the "precious" kids who were supplied with a list a mile long of what they could and couldn't eat, do etc etc, and the anxious mums who wanted to "stay and help".

From then on it was special party places, job done. There is a bit of a better than thou competition with theses but we just accepted our inferior status and went for bog standard :)

I have 2 DD's, an 11yr and 3yr old. Both their first birthday "parties" were held at home (just family and couple of close friends) every other party has been held elsewhere, they are both winter (feb & Nov) birthdays and there's no way on this planet I am having so many people in my home, it's too small for a start and I am also described by friends/family as showing OCD traits, the mess would send me into a massive melt down. Much , much easier to hire somewhere.

There is also the added benefit that once the 2 hours or whatever is up people actually leave, doesn't always happen at home.

If they were summer birthdays and we had a bigger house/garden I might be tempted to have BBQ's/Bouncy Castles which is what my DB does for his boys but definitely not in winter.

I think I might have a crush on MadamDeathStare, after that account.

Gay40 So your children never attend parties either I assume? How do they feel about that? I can't imagine that they would feel "no you can't go to the party as mummy and daddy hate small talk" would really cut it.

By the way, how have you made all those party observations if you never go to them, as I must admit not a single one has happened at any party I have been to and I go to loads!

DD goes to several a year, and we rotate the job of attending adult between the three of us. But I still don't like the smalltalk bit - I have nowt to contribute to the "My DH never does any housework" conversation which seems to be a staple feature.

(I was referring to grown-up parties really - I avoid those like the plague.)

My mum still shudders at the memory of the jelly she found tucked down the arm of the sofa after one of our childhood parties .

Our house is also midget sized. Unless I could rephrase 'party' as one-child-plus-parent or two-kids-without it's just not happening!

My house is too small and our "garden" is the size of a postage stamp! When we buy a bigger house she's welcome to have birthday parties at home.