To ask why more people don't have birthday parties at home for their children?

[suebfg]

Maybe it's a phenomenon where I live but all the parties my DS has been invited to (he's rising 4 yrs old) are at play barns/gyms. I find these so impersonal - what has happened to the traditional birthday party with pass the parcel, musical statues etc? Please tell me it's still out there.

We had a lovely party at home for ds2's sixth birthday . That was when I learned that they don't like pass the parcel any more. "normal" party games are BORING. They can eat the party tea that took 3 hours to prepare in less than 10 mins and If you look really closely you can still see the remains of the ice cream cone on the conservatory roof. Ds2 is now 13! Never again!

I've done both and by the time I have paid out for food, party bags, decorations etc wacky warehouse or ten pin bowling turns out to be a lot cheaper as well as a lot less hassle.

I work all day on Saturdays so have minimal preparation time. Also I work at childrens theatre classes so really don't want to spend my day off entertaining children again.

We had a party for DS last year in winter so we had to stay indoors and there was hardly any more mess than you would have from any gathering - maybe a few more crumbs on the floor but nothing a hoover doesn't sort out.

I can't be arsed with it all. You give the place the money, you turn up, kids have a great time and you leave. No shopping, no cooking, no tidying etc, much easier.

We live in a tiny flat - wld love to do home party but it's impossible

We did parties at home for dd aged 4 and the mess was atrocious, cake trodden in the carpet, playdoh trodden in the carpet, dh computer equipment damaged, I said never again. For dd 4th birthday we had a MacDonalds party, just cost £22 for 9 kids and me and dh lunch, no mess no clearing up wonderful. MaccDs had a playcentre next to the party room so children climb and jump about perfect. Cost less than a party at home.

Small house. Big mess. No chance.

dd2 chose to have her 9th birthday party at home. she came up with teh basic idea - 2 teams, silly relay/obstacle races and pizza. it was competely fabulous. the kids loved it. never seen anything so funny as a bunch of 8/9 year olds trying to race in dh's wellies (one team in 2 left feet or one in 2 right feet). well, not until they did the race with one ski boot and one flipper. space hoppers were pretty funny too.

it was one of the best parties we've ever done. and free (apart from the pizza).

I spend the happiest part of my life being the 'entertainment' for at-home parties, everybody is always beautifully behaved, calm and polite. But I do know that the minute I disappear up the drive chaos erupts. Sometimes I can HEAR it as I accelerate away clutching my cheque.

This is why school has playtimes

but yes, we are lucky to have a decent sized garden.

I take some objection to that. I was brought up in a 2 bed terraced house with a small garden and had parties at home. Do you never have friends around then at your flat?

With respect Sue terraced houses (my grandparenst had a 2 bed old terrace adn I used to have a big one) can be a lot bigger than modern flats or even modern 2 bed semis. Generally the living room is bogger. We moved from a 3 bed terrace to a 3 bed detached and found our furnture was too big.

Believe me, I was brought up in a shoebox.

I have one 7 and one 4 and I would say it's 50/50 local leisure centre or church hall versus homes. Although a couple of the "home" parties have been more ostentatious than others, one memorable home party had 2 massive bouncy castle things, massive garden and house, lovely food (trifle to die for) proper ice creams for everyone, I wanted them to adopt me .

I don't think the kids care less tbh, although they seem to go to so bloody many, I think I went to about 3 in my whole childhood.

Dd went to a friends party who lived in a flat, it was summer so they decamped to a local field and had games/food there, had a great time (obviously only viable in summer).

Only 2 Rules for DCs' parties:

RULE 1 Hold DC1's 1st ever party at home to show you're not too precious to do it.

RULE 2 Thereafter, stick to venues whose walls, floors & ceilings are up to being cleaned with a good-quality steam-cleaner.

Anything else ain't worth the stress!

Our local hall is a tenner an hour. Loads of space for boys to run around. I provided craft, activities and games for my DS1's 7th birthday and some of his (lovely) friends were upset because they just wanted to play football instead of being organised into activities. So it's either three friends for cinema next year or a sports party. That's what the children want.

It's not about me, and my preference for quaint old-fashioned practices, but about them having a fab time.

Whole class parties just have to be out of the house. But have done musical bumps / craft type parties at home for 4-6 year olds (max 10 kids) and trip out followed by pizza and sleepover for eight 9yr old boys. I find it much less hassle than taking all the stuff to a church hall. Round here, you get charged an extortionate amount for a very tight time slot so it's always a mad panic. Would rather be at home, clear the sitting room and just get on with it. The children seem to enjoy it too as I think they get fed up of all the 'venues'.

8 yr old request was for a 'Raven' party, complete with teams, winning gold rings for different challenges. That was hard work!!!

It's a good point OP, but I think it's pretty much across the board that houses aren't big enough and a lot of the time, it's a "whole class" thing.

Personally I want to get the politics of the invitees right as our kids are going to know each other for a really long time and I don't want to piss other mums off this early on!

Having said all that, in planning Ds's party, I realised at least half his class hadn't invited him/or had a party at all so felt quite justified in slashing the guest list to save wonga. It's a bloody minefield. DS is my first and I didn't see this political behemoth coming at all!

suebfg, would you have had 20 kids at your house as a kid? Last year DS wanted all 20 kids from his nursery class at his party. I didn't know most of them so had no way of sifting the close friends from the peripheral without leaving him with no more than 3 attendees.

Needless to say, we hired a hall.

I've done both. When the kids were small, it was really just friends' kids, so we had parties in the house, with treasure hunts, pass the parcel etc

When dd1 went to school, it became apparent that the whole class were invited to parties- 25 kids, plus my other 2, so had to be a soft play/ hall. I decided that all my dc would have a "whole class" party in P1, and thereafter, once they had established groups of friends, it would be smaller parties for them. In P2 dd1 had an arty party, and invited the 6 girls she was friendly with. I imagine that trying to do anything like that, in the house, with 25 kids, some of whom are not really into making clay models etc would have been a disaster!

dd2 is having her "whole class" party on Saturday . I am in the throes of starting a new business and just don't have time to do all the food etc, so I threw money (although it hurts!) at it, to assuage my bad-mum guilt. 30 children are coming, dd2 chose the venue, and they do all the food/ party bags etc. Still have to decorate the cake though..

I did it once. Never again without legions of helpers. I found food in the strangest places for days afterwards.

We had a solemn funeral for a dead baby bird that had fallen out of its nest.