Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

To ask why more people don't have birthday parties at home for their children?

155 replies

suebfg · 09/06/2011 20:25

Maybe it's a phenomenon where I live but all the parties my DS has been invited to (he's rising 4 yrs old) are at play barns/gyms. I find these so impersonal - what has happened to the traditional birthday party with pass the parcel, musical statues etc? Please tell me it's still out there.

OP posts:

Psychpineapple · 09/06/2011 20:39

Winter birthdays (garden out of bounds), nervous pets - so much easier to turn up somewhere at 2pm hand over cash, leave at 4pm, and return home.

ohsolonely · 09/06/2011 20:41

We did do a party at a soft play once! Cost over £100 and OMG was stressful as hell! DH spent the whole party trying to stop the kids running out into the leisure centre (out of the soft play confines). So i had to deal with 15 kids running amock myself! The staff kept asking who was for fishfingers and who was for nuggets etc!! It was far from the no hassle party I had expected for the expense!! Never ever again!! LOL

We are now into sleepovers!! They can be hard going too! Bring back the birthday tea party with pass the parcel and sleeping lions please!!!

ragged · 09/06/2011 20:42

I went to so few parties as a kid I can hardly comment about used to be traditional. But I can remember when these softplay places came in (early 1980s) and they seem to be were hugely popular... for a reason :).
I try to avoid having parties at all for DC, so much easier if it's just a small special outing for a few.

Mars · 09/06/2011 20:45

a) the mess
b) the mess
c) other people's children
d) the mess

DioneTheDiabolist · 09/06/2011 20:46

I didn't have my DS's party at home because my mum (in a senior moment, or maybe it's the onset of dementia) offered to have it at hers. Thanks Ma, it was brilliant.

FlubbaBubba · 09/06/2011 20:46

My DCs have all had parties at home - it's not a big home and can feel cramped with just the three of them, but we squooshed 17 in for DD1's recent party (in the summer months), and 12 for DD2 (back in the autumn) and have done all the traditional games and have had nothing but positive feedback. :o

Also plan to continue doing them at home as long as possible.

(Have yet to go to another party at a child's home this year though!)

SocietyClowns · 09/06/2011 20:48

dd is allowed to invite as many as she is old... so that's 4 for her birthday soon. She hates large parties as well which works in my favour. Plus our house is too small to accomodate toys contained in 30 birthday presents brought by her guests (some of which will be duplicates). I will do party bags this year but the kids have to 'earn' what goes in it with party games and a short treasure hunt to the park across the road. The cake gets eaten on the day, not squashed into soggy tissue and put in the compost bin at each child's home...
Done. I have found everyone is fine with the explanation that it's a small party and only very few have been invited. I am also fine with others inviting the whole class (although dd would rather not go and was in tears the last time she went to one- too noisy). What I don't get is if a child invites the whole class except two or three children. That seems just mean and unnecessary.

troisgarcons · 09/06/2011 20:52

I shudder at the memories ... thankfully they are over and done with the whole class thing by Y3 and divide out into friendship groups.

Worst one I ever did was 90 kids (I weep at the memomry) - 90 kids you say? oh yes. Nursery & Reception & our own friends children.

In my house? not in this lifetime!!!!

Jeeps · 09/06/2011 20:52

Because I spend the whole morning tidying up in preparation for the arrival of the party guests (and their potentially critical parents) and then have to do the same thing all over again 2 hours later when they leave - leaving behind a trail of destruction!

PlanetEarth · 09/06/2011 20:54

Big parties seem to be the thing these days... We have had a couple of parties in the house, maximum of 12 kids. Worked well when the kids were about 5/6, then they just got out of hand. Kids these days don't seem to have great boundaries - the first party we had in the house wTe let the guests roam around at first while everyone was arriving, but then found some of them bouncing on our bed . When I was a kid we wouldn't have dreamed of going in our friends' parents bedrooms, much less bouncing on the bed.

The next party we anticipated this stuff (locked our room for a start!), but as the kids got a bit older we found that some of their 7/8 year old friends thought they were too cool to play pass-the-parcel and other games. At that point I'd had enough of having these inconsiderate party guests in our house!

SpareOhs · 09/06/2011 20:56

Because we live in a two-bed flat without a garden.

troisgarcons · 09/06/2011 20:57

It seemed to be a general thing (my kids are late born in the school year) so you follow suit - whole class {hysterical crying emoticon} -I was so glad when the ygrew out of it.

one year I managed to get 8 mums together who had children the same birth month and do one big party! But that was for my own personal gain - 3 free weekends as I recall!!!

Cattleprod · 09/06/2011 20:59

We hired a village hall with a huge flat garden, good kitchen facilities, easy-clean vinyl flooring, chairs for the parents, plenty of parking etc.

The cost?.............£4.50 per hour!!

Bunbaker · 09/06/2011 21:00

DD has a July birthday. When she was in reception by the time her birthday came around she had been invited to everyone else's party. It would have been a little mean not to reciprocate all the invitations, so having a party at home was out of the question. She has home parties now because she is more selective about her friends and I limit the number to 6.

joogle · 09/06/2011 21:01

I think it's just easier and more people are willing to pay nowadays. Saying that we are having an at home party for DS this saturday, fancy dress just like olde times!

Hatesponge · 09/06/2011 21:04

Thinking about it, I had parties at home as a child every year through primary school - even though we lived in a small house with a tiny garden (about 15ft long!). Somehow I used to have 10-12 friends for parties. We used to all sit in the kitchen for birthday tea, then we'd play games like musical chairs in the living room :)

I suppose until soft play/activity centres came along, there wasn't an alternative to having parties at home. I don't remember ever going to a party as a child that wasn't at the birthday child's house.

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls · 09/06/2011 21:06

We have a big garden, and a dd born in December - this year she is sharing her birthday with her friend at the play centre. Brilliant, they all love it and actually it will end up cheaper than having 25 kids at my house!

dixiechick1975 · 09/06/2011 21:10

I've done the traditional party twice for DD but in a local cricket club - only £20 to hire. Far more room, enough chairs/tables etc - would cost me more to clean my cream carpet after at home.

Lots of positive feedback about how nice to have a 'proper' party from other mums and the children enjoyed it.

strandedbear · 09/06/2011 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redwineformethanks · 09/06/2011 22:07

I prefer house parties as I think they're personal than this week's function in a soft play place, but I can understand why soft play is attractive to others

AuntiePickleBottom · 09/06/2011 22:11

i have my dc birthday party at home, so do all my siblings...and we all help with the mess.

AuntiePickleBottom · 09/06/2011 22:12

by home, i mean my parents home lol

Pancakeflipper · 09/06/2011 22:18

That's bloody cheating AuntiePickleBottom and you know it I'd invited the entire school if it was at my mother's place. I'd even bring tea towels and bin bags....

Hulababy · 09/06/2011 22:20

I've never had a party at home. I don't want the mess and hassle of lots of children (and parents when chilren are smaller) traipsing round my house. I'd rather pay to use a hall. DD is in a small class (14 girls) so restricting numbers would be much harder, especially as she would also be inviting her est friend from out of school as well. We normally have up to 20 to her parties, and in the past more if we've had family/family friends there too.

Most parties I hae sorted myself though, just had it in a hall. This year's (DD was 9y was limited planning for me though as was at a climbing centre.

DD has been to some parties at home, but none have been just traditional type ones tbh - they've always been themed such as craft or cupcake making. And most in houses with a big enough room to house them all, and pretty much all in the summer where chances are they can use outside too.

TotallyLovely · 09/06/2011 22:23

I did a joint one at home for both my dcs recently and ended up with 30 kids plus their parents as they are young so loads of people in my little house. It's amazing how many you can fit in when you try! . Didn't find the mess too bad really but was rather annoyed with my DH for having a lay-in that day rather then getting up to help with the preparation.

Posted about it on here but was absolutely slated as it was decided that he couldn't possibly have agreed to that size of a party (he did), I was showing off by having a big party, and so he was entitled to lay in bed while I did all the work. Apparently men are not expected to take on any responsibility for parties, they are womens work and men find making sandwiches boring, so consider that next time you throw a bit party. (bitter, me? )

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread