To be upset with DH about the treatment of DD?

[Fionann]

It's DS's 3rd birthday so DH promised DD (5) the day off school, not something I would have done but I didn't feel I could say no after he's said yes as they were both so exited.

We got DD a few presents to open as well and for teh first hour everything was fine but then DH started to get in a really bad mood and kept telling DD of for taking the toys DS wanted to play with and generally not playing nicely & being grumpy.

Dh then told her off for the fourth time and said he was taking her into school, she cried and screamed and he made her go and put her uniform on, she then came downstairs and was crying and grabbing my legs and promising she would be good, it was really awful but he took her off to school....DD doesn't handle exitement well and can be bossy to DS but I think DH was overeacted.

AIBU?

did your DH not apologise to your DD?

oops. Xpost dittany.

"So if you take a child to a soft-play centre, or toddler group, or a party - you know, those sort of places you go to as a treat - and they misbehave, so after warnings, you take them home, what does that make home?"

"'home' is completely different ballonslayer. home is the base of the family, it is where they live, relax, be. it's where mum/dad/brothers/sisters/granny etc live. it isn't an opt in/opt out of thing. home and school cannot be compared."

I agree, going home from somewhere following misbehaviour while out and about is very different to what happened in the OP's house today. Going home is still being with your family, being taken to school after the promised day off had started and being excluded from the outing would probably have felt very different to the OP's little girl.

I don't know what happened when your daughter arrived at school and your DH came home OP, but if the three of you still went out for the afternoon or if you stayed home but your daughter thought you were out without her or even if you cancelled the outing, she still will have found that very hard. Either being excluded after being told she could stay home and take part in the outing or knowing that the outing was cancelled for everyone because of her behaviour/as part of her punishment will have been hard for her.

I agree that bad behaviour needs addressing, especially if she had been warned, but I think in this case the punishment was way in excess of the crime.

How is your DH feeling about all this now? Does he still feel it was a justified reaction and punishment or is he now feeling that his reaction was the wrong one?