to think the newborn phase might actually be quite fun?!

[takethatlady]

Hi!

I'm 35+1 with DC1 (a DD) and everyone I talk to keeps telling me how 'awful' the first few weeks are - how you don't know what you're doing, how your baby barely responds to you and 'gives nothing back', how you are filled with perpetual fear that something bad will happen, how terrible bfing will be, and how you'll feel nothing but physically and emotionally drained and stressed and all your other relationships will suffer.

I know these people mean well and I'm really glad they're not lying to me and pretending it will all be a bed of roses, but having seen a few similar threads on MN I am just wondering if anybody out there had a really positive experience of the first few weeks? I'm lucky because my DH is a teacher and what with paternity leave and the summer holidays he's likely to be around full time for 8 of the first 10 weeks. We're both really really excited about spending the summer getting to know our new baby, however sleep deprived we're going to be, and I'd love to hear more from people who enjoyed this time despite its difficulties ...

I LOVED the early days!! I was very blessed in the sense that DD was born pretty chilled out and only woke twice a night until 6ish weeks, when it became once a night. I was single from the beginning so I loved just sitting cuddling her and watching her sleep. (obviously the being single bit presented its own problems.

The first weeks go far too fast and they lose the beautiful newborn look all too quickly. Like a few others I find my DD has got harder as she's got older! She's 3 now, so still got the teenage years to look forward to!

Some days I wish I could have my little newborn baby back for a day so I could get cuddles without her squirming away, or I could put her somewhere and when I come back she'd be in the same place! lol

New born is great. Yes its tiring,but they sleep loads

Agree with 1986. I loved loved it! Have been lucky enough to do it 3 times.
My health visitor arranged Friday morning coffee meet ups for all local new mums - I pitched up by week 2 to find 12 other women in the room! I met lovely new baby friends, I also decided to do it my way.
BF did not work for me and once I got over the horrendous guilt it was great - expressed for a while so DH could feed as well.
Watched so many movies, long walks in the park, dinner with friends while baby slept. Just bliss!

I think it very much depends on the baby tbh,my dd2 who is now 16wks didnt really sleep much in the day and had reflux so was a hard feeder and even harder to settle back down,Its only now i am really starting to relax and enjoy her properly. I loved the few days after tho when you dont really get dressed and sit around eating toast in your pjs and cuddling baby continuously.

I had a C section and my baby had a lung infection so I was in hospital for a week after ds was born (18 weeks ago). I was a little anxious when I first got home as I think I had got used to the hospital routine! I was lucky enough to have people around me to help, but to be honest, a lot of the time I just wanted time just me and him,to work out what's best for us. I think thats important.

All in all it has been the most precious time of my life and my advice would be savour every moment, listen to other people's advice, then do what works for you and your baby / family. Good luck :)

My colleague has 1 DD. When she was a baby she used to ring me up at work saying the baby was fast asleep and she was bored! When asked, she would say that she had done all the housework and now had nothing to do. But I have never talked to anyone else who has been like this with a new born.

It is awful, and lovely too. The support you have does make a big difference, so you are lucky your H will be around so much.

I'm sure you'll love it. But you will also have days where you just want to cry!

I loved the newborn stage apart from the tiredness, which nothing can prepare you for (unless you have a miracle sleeper). I do remember thinking (this is 12+ years ago now) "I'd be unbelievably happy if I just wasn't so tired". It's an amazing time really with lots of ups and downs. My big saviour (although I realize some people would hate this) was getting together with other mums with the same age babies - nct group, baby massage etc - made me feel much more normal and in control to have a reason to get dressed and out of the house, and you realize that everyone's going through the same thing (avoid competitive mummies, obviously!) But equally staying in and watching telly, dozing etc and just enjoying your newborn are wonderful too! And lucky you having your DP around, that will make a huge difference.

Once I stopped bfing I found the newborn stage the easiest stage. I was lucky in that they were both good sleepers and the happy hormone didn't depart me for the first 3 months.

I love newborns. You'll have a blast. My first was good at breastfeeding and sleeping. My second was not as easy (average I would guess) but I knew what I was doing and that the bad bits didn't last. It is hard work and a very emotional time. But you have a child of your own and a DH who will be going through it with you. Enjoy parenthood!

I had riproaring PND and even I can remember some lovely things about having a newborn, gazing at them for ages, counting their toes etc. That is one problem with PND, you don't necessarily loathe your baby, in fact you can love them so much you can't believe that they got landed with such a disaster of a mother. Even sometimes the night feeds would feel like magical little interludes when the rest of the world was asleep and it was just me and DD.
I did however, also spend most of the day crying and I regretted absolutely throwing away my career, body, friends, money, freedom etc
So even with PND- and I hope you avoid it as it is hell- nothing is necessarily 100% awful. Just as no mother reports 100% blissful.

I should add to reassure takethatlady that I had my 8 week scan this morning for a much-wanted DC2. So even though I had a bloody awful time with my newborn, I think it was worth it in the end.

I loved the newborn stage. But I think I had it easier than most. I had a horrendous birth and DD was in the SCBU for a week afterwards. During that time I was in a private room at the hospital too (check this out at your hospital, they were allocated on medical need but cost £21 extra per night. The best money I ever spent) I got to sleep in peace and recover for a whole week, secure in the knowledge that my DD was fed, admittedly via nose tube, and cared for by the professionals. I was woken up to be milked express and feed. Apart from that i was left alone to recover in peace.

By the time we were both released a week later she was out of danger, the worst of my wounds were on the way to healing and my body had recovered from the shock. The interrupted sleep was nowhere nearly as bad as I had been anticipating. Plus DD, trained as she had been by the constant lights and bleeps, could sleep through anything.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I loved it, and hated it - spent the first month in happy hormonal haze, then pain from breast thrush and medical issues kicked in and I realised we had no roof, no builders, and lots of debt... the next two months weren't great but the baby was fine. And then it got better.

Every baby is different. I decided to only listen to advice from people with 3 or more well-adjusted children, which generally boiled down to 'chill out'!

i found the newborn stage much easier than the toddler stage, but still didn't like it very much, from about 6weeks to 1year was the best most enjoyable time for me, DS is 2yo now and i'm starting to enjoy this stage now that i'm finding my feet again, i didn't like the stage between baby and toddler, DS needed a lot of interaction/stimulation but was not nearly independant enough to be left with his toys for a while so that bit was hard.

when he was a small baby i loved the novelty of it all, and i did have a good BFing experience etc, he was also quite a good sleeper. so other than being a bit lonely was great. he was also a lot more portable so i could easily get out for a coffee or round the shops if i wanted.

now i love the little conversations i can have with him, again didn't like the bit inbetween talking and not able to talk.

every stage has good parts and bad parts i'm sure this will be true right up to adulthood.

and every baby and mum is different, so i wouldn't worry about it too much, concentrate on your beautiful baby coming to meet you soon

I didn't like the newborn stage - it was very, very tiring. I don't agree with "they don't give anything back" though. Even when they're tiny they will root for you and latch on etc. and later they start smiling and they seem to want you so much :). I thought it was much more fun the second time around because I was an old pro then .

I loved the very newborn stage. First 4-6 weeks were just wonderful. Then she had colic and reflux, so I spent the next 6 weeks holding out for the miracle improvement everyone tells you happens at 12 weeks. At 16 weeks I made a concerted effort to sort out naps and DD got the hang of them and it was brilliant again :D

I loved the newborn stage - mind you I was so surprised and delighted to have a healthy baby at 46 that a bit of tiredness was nothing! Found the constant visits from family a bit wearing and wish I'd put my foot down to have more relaxing time with my new baby and dh rather than thinking you have to entertain other people... Oh and I'd recommend Dr Brown's bottles if formula feeding as they stop the dreaded trapped wind. I have found that people don't seem to want you to be happy and are always warning you what doom and gloom is around the corner. I'm now getting warned about teething/terrible 2s and even future boyfriends FFS! Enjoy every minute as it goes by so quickly.

We had a fantastic experience. Laziest baby in the world, slept 23 hours a day from day 1. We had to set the alarm clock to remind ourselves to wake her up to feed her. Breastfeeding didn't work for me so she was formula fed. Summer is a nice time with a new born. If it takes a while to faff around with the car seat it doesn't matter if they spend a bit longer waiting to go into the car

The newborn stage was tiring but absolutely wonderful. To have this small baby you have longed for in your arms is amazing. It was tough, BFing was difficult for me, and we have no family nearby to help out, but becoming a Mum was a wonderful time.

The first week was fine, the next 4 months were awful, tiresome, boring, dull, stressy, crap. As Boy gets older, I enjoy more about him. I'm now waiting impatiently for when he can walk, and communicate in approximations of words.

Newborns are wonderful.
And the newborn stage does pass very very quickly.

The reason it passes quickly is because nobody could stand it much longer ....

Newborns melt your heart. And they are lovely. But - you'll have to experience yourself!

My top tip: go with the flow, follow your baby's cues and you'll be fine.
And yes to meals eatable with 1 hand.
Also do not expect to be having a meal together with your DH for some time.

(After having had 4 DCs, my favourite newborns now are the ones I get to have a cuddle with and then give back to their parents )

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Sorry to say I hated the newborn stage, and would be very reluctant to go there again.

I don't really think it's got that much to do with low/high/no expectations it has more to do with if have you a cryer/non-sleeper or a calm/sleeper...well, you can guess what I had .

But it does pass regardless of whether it is heaven or hell and I love, love, love having a 2 year old - tantrums, shmantrums? At least you can leave the room, turn on Cbeebies, crack open the (for those under 2 stone) and (for those over, ahem, 9ish stone).

Good luck! and don't decide what temperament your PFB has until after day three - they wake up properly then.

My DS is nearly 6 months now and the time since he was born has been the best in my life by far. I've always wanted children so I suppose it's a dream come true for me which of course makes it easier as I am very motivated. Plus it helps the DS is a gorgeous easy going smiley baby who is currently playing happily on his mat as I laze about with coffee He doesn't sleep well at all, never has, but he rarely cries so that helps a lot. Even when he does cry I can stay calm which I think also helps.

My only advice would be to go with the flow. Don't pressure yourself to get into a routine straight away and don't worry if he/she doesn't sleep well. A lot of the mums whom I've met since having DS were struggling because they felt they weren't doing the "right" thing. As far as I'm concerned as long as DS is happy and healthy then I'm sorted. You are so lucky your DH will be around - focus on feeding and cuddling the baby and make him run around after you. Those first few weeks are really amazing and they grow up so fast. I can't believe how big and solid DS is already - it seems like ten minutes ago that he was a teeny tiny little dot in my arms.

reading this is getting me excited again for my wee one coming can't wait,
FWIW in my opinion i'd take newborn stage over being pregnant ANYTIME!