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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best friend using same name for her daughter - five weeks apart.

302 replies

wellamI1981 · 18/05/2011 16:08

So...my bub is just over a month old. When she was born my best mate obviously text to say congratulations and mentioned that she and her husband had picked the same name (Charlotte) for their daughter - giving the impression that going ahead with it would now be a bit silly. I have now found out that far from abandoning the name they are going ahead with calling their baby the same name.

Now I totally realise no one owns a name - particularly one so, so popular. If it were simply a friend's baby (i.e. not my best friend who I see most days) I wouldn't be as concerned. But it's my best friend...

So...AIBU to be concerned/upset?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 18/05/2011 16:11

YABU if they set their hearts on it.

Bit of a bummer though. I wonder which one will get called Charlie Grin

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 18/05/2011 16:11

YABU - like you say, no one owns a name and if she had her heart set on the name she is unlikely to change it!

I never understand why people get precious over names, it's not gonna impact your life is it with her DD being called the same as yours.

doley · 18/05/2011 16:12

I would be completely pissed off .

It would take me ages to get over it ~sorry I know there are more serious issues but ...no ,I would be REALLY fed up .

What will you/can you do ? :)

JamieAgain · 18/05/2011 16:15

I think it's weird she'd go ahead with that name, actually. Of course it's not your name etc etc, and if she had liked it first she might be upset you chose it, but to then go ahead and use it strikes me a bit odd. Not malicious, just odd. I'd have thought with so many lovely girls names out there, there would be enough to go round.

UNLESS, there's some personal reason she chose it, like it's her granny's name - then I could understand it more.

SybilBeddows · 18/05/2011 16:16

I can't for the life of me see why this matters.
If your dds are mates they will be The Two Charlottes like the 4 Marys in Bunty.
So you and your best friend have similar taste in names (and it's not like it's an unusual one) - why wouldn't you have? I bet there are lots of other things you both like and that's why you're friends.
I think it's rather sweet.

chelstonmum · 18/05/2011 16:18

I would be peeved too.

We have a name picked out for impending bump and a member of the family announced last week that 'x' is pregnant and due soon, what if she uses that name. Now had you seen 'x' other kids and potential names (she tell the world all via fb) you would have been gobsmacked as all are a chav/ned fest! However this person has now told 'x' what a lovely name we like and had she thought of it??? I am soooooo p'd off!

If I were you I would start calling your Charlotte whatever pet name you love best now (I love Lottie) and hope your BF isnt such a pain that she copies that too.

HeadfirstForHalos · 18/05/2011 16:18

YABU, they had already chosen the name, they aren't copying you!

Charlotte and Charlotte will LOVE having the same name when they're older (if they are friends). Good name, my eldest dd has it too Grin

worraliberty · 18/05/2011 16:18

Perhaps the Dad actually had a say in the matter too. Are you his best mate as well?

cumbria81 · 18/05/2011 16:18

so what?

it's not like they're sisters

when we were kids growing up lots of my parents' friends had named their children the same thing. My sister was little Claire, for example, and the others medium Claire and Big Claire!

Fimbo · 18/05/2011 16:18

As they grow up, one can be Charlie and the other Lottie.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 18/05/2011 16:18

Exactly Sybil!!

What can the OP do about it?? Sweet FA...so flip it over and see the positives. You are best mates and you both have a gorgeous DD who share the same name...........you obviously both have good taste and I'm sure your DD's will be as close as you are!

JamieAgain · 18/05/2011 16:19

cumbria - bet Big Claire was thrilled about that .....

HeadfirstForHalos · 18/05/2011 16:20

I just don't see why they should change the name they obviously have their hearts set on. They probably already thought of their "bump" as Charlotte before you had your baby.

latrucha · 18/05/2011 16:20

I would be a bit taken aback, but names really don't belong to anyone. They probably like it just as much as you. Plus, they were up front about it. They were probably as shocked and concerned as you when they heard about your dd.

One can be Lottie and one Charlie!

SnuffleTurtle153 · 18/05/2011 16:21

I stressed out about the perfect name for our DS for months, but he's been on the earth for 2 months now and I'm afraid to say that most of the time I just call him Bumface Blush

I don't even know why, and I did it in front of the health visitor earlier and she gave me a really funny look.

So really, I wouldn't worry about it. You'll probably only ever call her Charlotte when she's done something naughty! Smile

tiredfeet · 18/05/2011 16:22

Yabu, people often pick names out well in advance of the baby arriving, bit much to expect them to change their minds. Agree that you should look at this as a rather lovely coincidence! My best friend shares the same name as me and we both think that's great Smile

ViolaTricolor · 18/05/2011 16:22

You just have to get over it. They chose that name at the same time, possibly, and you have no idea whether they girls will be particularly friendly throughout their lives. My name is more unusual than Charlotte and I still found myself two best friends in the course of my primary school years who had the same one. We didn't care.

sims2fan · 18/05/2011 16:23

I expect she told you "that's the name we've chosen" so that if YOU wanted to change your daughter's name so as not to have the same one then you could.

tiredfeet · 18/05/2011 16:23

snuffle same here, ds mainly gets called 'fat pants' Grin

PorkChopSter · 18/05/2011 16:23

Whatever you are feeling, she is too - you are using her name as well. Be sympathetic!

And it could be far, far worse. She could be married to your DH's brother & used the same 1st & 2nd name, live down the road & be going to the same school.

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 18/05/2011 16:23

My neighbours were Big Richard and Little Richard!

I shit you not! Although father and son....

Big Dick, Little Dick, Cardboard Box

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 18/05/2011 16:24

I think it's more her husband who is pushing to still go with it now. I definitely don't think she's copied - we do have similar tastes. I just think it's going to be a bit strange going to all the baby groups we have planned, introducing our new babies as Charlotte and Charlotte!

I suppose If the shoe had been on the other foot I'd have been very upset - as I know what it's like to have your heart set on a name - but gone with another name. If it had have been 'just a friend' rather than my best friend I probably would have still gone with it.

Ah never mind. Just bloody annoying! Also will our friendship group/family not think it odd on her part?

OP posts:
Jemma1111 · 18/05/2011 16:25

Anyone can name their baby whatever they like so yes yabu, I can't understand why if you are best friends you didn't speak to each other about names you both wanted during your pregnancy?

nochy · 18/05/2011 16:25

My friend didn't call her dd olivia for that exact reason. However, they then moved away from the village she and her bf lived in and, the DD requested the name change at 7. The girls now love having the same name.

LadyBeagleEyes · 18/05/2011 16:26

It's quite a popular name at the moment though isn't it, and it doesn't belong to you.
YABU for saying bub though.

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