Best friend using same name for her daughter - five weeks apart.

[wellamI1981]

So...my bub is just over a month old. When she was born my best mate obviously text to say congratulations and mentioned that she and her husband had picked the same name (Charlotte) for their daughter - giving the impression that going ahead with it would now be a bit silly. I have now found out that far from abandoning the name they are going ahead with calling their baby the same name.

Now I totally realise no one owns a name - particularly one so, so popular. If it were simply a friend's baby (i.e. not my best friend who I see most days) I wouldn't be as concerned. But it's my best friend...

So...AIBU to be concerned/upset?

[A1980]

There were two other girls in my class with my name.

There are two other people at work with my name.

Charlotte is not that uncommon. You will come across lots of them. I don't see a problem.

[startail]

I think DD1 would be called what she is regardless of anyone else in my close circle using that name. From the day I found out, Aged about 11, that my favourite great aunt had a nice second name* I knew that's what my daughter would be called. (I first name was one of those utterly unusable ugly granny names and she hated it).

[startail]

I should have been her

[takethisonehereforastart]

She may take one look at her baby and decide she looks nothing like a Charlotte.

Perhaps when she told you the names they were thinking of she was keeping that one back as her favourite, just in case you liked it and used it without realising how much she wanted it.

It's not ideal for your babies to have the same name but it's not the worst thing that could happen either. At least they aren't related and won't have near identical first, middle and surnames (as happened in a previous thread on here thanks to someones really odd SIL.

And when they turn 12 or so they will both change their names, nicknames and the spellings to something incomprehensible and 'cool' anyway, with lots of additional letters stuck on the end that you didn't include when you registered them. "My names Charlotte, it's spelled Zhaaarlotteeeee, but you can call me Arlo for short."

[Livinginoz]

I would be a bit peeved, but you don't own a name. They haven't had the baby yet right? There's still time for them to change their minds when it actually arrives!

[mycatoscar]

i think i would be surprised and probably feel a bit annoyed whilst knowing it wasnt worth an argument

shes your best friend for a reason, dont let this get in the way.

[EmmaBemma]

On balance YABU, I would be a bit peeved I think, but then I would be in your friend's shoes too, when she found out you'd chosen "her" name, as It sounds like they'd already chosen it independently of you. Choosing a name can be such a headache, especially when you've got to argue your choices with your other half and settle on one you both like. With both our girls this took ages and I'd have been loathe to change it, once agreed, to something I didn't like as much because a friend had got there first.

[firstforthought]

Millions of names to choose from - just lazy if you ask me.
YANBU

[Ambernj1]

YABabitU, though I do understand why you're peeved.

Friends of ours have just had a baby, and didn't know the sex. I must admit I was worried they would have a girl and choose the name we have chosen for our little girl due in 6 weeks. I am totally set on the name, and would never change it, but didn't want to look like I had no imagination of my own...

As it goes they did have a girl, but went with another, equally lovely, name so no issue, but had they chosen our name I wouldn't have changed it for all the tea in China...

[OTheHugeManatee]

No doubt if they grow up together and become friends one will be Charlie and the other will be Lottie. Children have a way of working stuff like that out. YAB a bit U.

[tiggyfours]

I think If it happened to me I would call my daughter charlotte and middle name and even make it permanent so that there is some difference.This sort of happened to us as my cousin and his wife borrowed our ds1 name and we borrowed their dd1 name for our dd but hyphoned it with our other favourite name!

[FaultyGoods]

YANBU It is annoying when someone close picks the same name or virtually the same name as you, particularly so close together.

Of course, nobody owns a name but you want your child to have a 'unique' name within your circle. There are lots of boys in our family/friends circle so I had to really work hard to find a name that we liked that hadn't already been used. Lo and behold, my SIL then picks a name almost identical for her DS. I was not happy.

[zingzillachinchilla]

If you wanted a unique name, then you shouldn't have chosen Charlotte. YABU

[MamaLazarou]

If you'd called her Abergavenny Monkeywhistle and your friend had, too, it would be v weird of her and you would not BU to be annoyed about it.

Charlotte is a very popular name. There will always be someone else down the road with a Charlotte.

[MamaLazarou]

YABVVU to refer to your child as 'bub'.

[Journey]

Agree with lockets.

If your baby had been born after your friend's baby would you have changed your DD's name to something other than Charlotte?

[sjdg]

I would be a bit miffed but its not the end of the world, one could be charlie and tho other could be lottie!x :)

[systemsaddict]

I have a friend and colleague who lived in the same street while we were pregnant, our boys were born 2 weeks apart, and they have almost identical names - not quite, but almost. She had chosen his months before, but we didn't discuss names until after my ds was born and we suddenly realised. We still live in the same street (though the street is a different one now) and see a lot of each other, of course. Tbh it has never been a problem. They'll probably end up with different nicknames anyway - Charlie and Lotta or something.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

You should have been called Sarah in the '70's. Your Charlottes have nothing on that. I still can't move without bumping into about 17 of them at the same time. My class always had about 9 Sarahs in.

[ViolaTricolor]

Gwendoline, when I joined the Guides the other six girls in my patrol were all called Sarah.

[Mollymax]

A lot of people choose names for their children before they are even conceived.
We had a boys name i had always wanted to use ( my grandfathers name )
it happened to be my dh grandfathers name too.
So even if my best friend, sister, cousin or neighbour had used that name, we still would!
We had 3 girls, so was never an issue! :)