Fuck fuck fuckity fuck

[bupcakesandcunting]

I have to walk down a long alley with loads of bends in it to get DS to pre-school, and obviously, walk back up it. On the way back the alley is dead quiet because pre-school parents leave fifteen minutes after the rest of the school. I never see anyone walking down there on my way back.

About halfway up on my way home, I had a terrible urge to, ahem, bottom burp. Had a quick scan round. No-one about, so I let rip. It was REALLY loud and it had gusto too. (Chilli for tea last night) Then I hear sniggering and feel my fce go red from the neck up. Turns out there were two blokes over the other side of the fence of the alley, pruning a tree. Both of them quite easy on the eye.

Moral of this story: look UP as well.

He doesn't fart, my Robson. He's far too vain. If he did accidentally let one out, he'd pick up his acoustic guitar and sing a charming little Northumbrian ditty about bronx cheers.

If you are in India for any length of time, yes, you will probably 'follow thru' at least once a week!

Can I suggest a wig and some glasses for the return journey?

I'm going to wear my beret and change my coat. I really am.

See?

My dsis did once!!

She was at the pub and ended up in the loo scrubbing her trousers to get the stuff off!!!

I was very supportive and understanding, obviously

I love you bupcakes, in the way that only someone having a really shit day, and in desperate need of a laugh, and finding one from an unexpected source, can.

PMSL at Burt

Oh please change your clothes and hairstyle befrore you go back...the shame!!
I was in kiddicare the other day,it was deserted..no one about,couldn't find dh anywhere. So I dropped one (actually i dropped a few in a little trail down the aisle ). As soon as the whiff had escaped my jeans,dh appears and comes walking towards me...he went "er,youy clatty bint,have you just farted?!"
Because he'd called me a clatty bint, I was rendered hysterical and couldn't even deny it convincingly. I think I lost a little bit of sexy that day!

I was in superdrug with the 3 dc's,as I turned the pram to go down an aisle..I was hit in the face my a vile eggy blast I said to the eldest dc "don't breathe" and zoomed down the aisle,past the only person there..a teenage girl who was studying the label of a shampoo bottle very very hard!
dd shouts...UUUURRRRGGGHHHH!WHAAT IS THEAT HORRIBLE SMELL?" ds (just turned 3) shouts "UUUUURRRRGHHHH!IT'S A TRUMP!A REALLY SMELLY ONE.I THINK IT WAS THAT GIRL!"
both of them together "UUUUUUUUUUURRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!"
all the while me going "shhh,SHHHHH!"
poor girl.gotta hand it to her though,her eyes did not flicker away from that label for a second

An ex of mine once described how in his words "I farted and filled my pants"
On his friends sofa too. Eek.
So yes it does happen! I think he had stomach flu at the time.

Couldn't you have pretended you were blowing raspberries to the tune of land of hope and glory (in the style of people who look at the floor when they trip) ?

I was shopping with DF a little while ago when DF let a silent-but-deadly out. There was a couple standing quite close to us. The woman suddenly grimaced, gagged then slapped her partner really hard, told him he was disgusting and stormed off! He followed her, loudly protesting his innocence, while DF slunk round the corner!

Angry, I just cried with laughter, reading your post.

Actually, now I think of it, my mate Phil said that she sharted in his car, on his way to a wedding. He had to turn round and go home to get out of his shitted trousers.

Oh and his girlfriend of six weeks was in the passenger seat.

See? Always someone worse off

If you exploit the Mumsnet tolerance enough; my guess is they will end up changing the rules. So, why not tread a little more carefully.? cheers.

No, cheekymoney, you don't look at the floor when you trip...you start jogging!

Are you on the wrong thread scouse,or am I really tired?

I'll never forget when I was a teenager in my home town seeing a seriously hot woman (latina-looking with long legs, huge knockers, big lips and a mass of curly black hair) walk past a building site. Cue lots of wolf whistles from the builders on the scaffolding. She turned to face them and then farted REALLY loudly. To say they were nonplussed was an understatement.

You have to power through it, nubby. Best response would be to nod hello, and say 'alright?' while walking like Liam Gallagher. They will then respect you for your impressive trumping.

Ooh. Nubby. That should say buppy. Bloody iPad.

Nope.

See?

What Totoro said.

[ner]

"Best response would be to nod hello, and say 'alright?' while walking like Liam Gallagher."

I would have done this if I'd thought sooner.

I like nubby.

Do it on the return trip. Remember to really ham up the ape-like aspect of the Gallagher walk. They will think you are a well 'ard geezer-bird.

Wobbly... He's called 'Rob'. When I'm cross it sounds a bit like "RAaaaarrrrbbb"....

I walk like that anyway :(

Bupcakes 11.02
sharted in his car.
Freudian slip the bastard child of farted and shat??