Fuck fuck fuckity fuck

[bupcakesandcunting]

I have to walk down a long alley with loads of bends in it to get DS to pre-school, and obviously, walk back up it. On the way back the alley is dead quiet because pre-school parents leave fifteen minutes after the rest of the school. I never see anyone walking down there on my way back.

About halfway up on my way home, I had a terrible urge to, ahem, bottom burp. Had a quick scan round. No-one about, so I let rip. It was REALLY loud and it had gusto too. (Chilli for tea last night) Then I hear sniggering and feel my fce go red from the neck up. Turns out there were two blokes over the other side of the fence of the alley, pruning a tree. Both of them quite easy on the eye.

Moral of this story: look UP as well.

if it makes you feel any better - got back last night form a night out, and the babysitter had quite obviously just let rip - she couldn't leave fast enough

pmsl, you poor thing.

ps, you officially have my fave MN name

The shame!

Thanks, Totoros. Makes me feel a bit better

Next time you go, take one of those joke farting machines. Tell them that you knew they were there and you were having a laugh. Show it to them, laugh, chat 'em up. Result!

Hahaha :o

I share your shame

I let an unexpectedly large one go down the road tother day

a lady then crossed over the road to my side and handed me a leaflet about Jesus

(on reflection, I should have said "surely it wasn't that bad, was it??")

Oh dear... it probably sounded louder too, acoustics in an alleyway and all, but look on the bright side, these guys might have been very impressed.

I tired to kid myself all the way home that they weren'tsniggering at me because they didn't even hear it. They were laughing at some shared joke and my guilt about guffing was making me paranoid :(

...of course I never fart. I actually never let my feet touch the ground and I hover above the ground in a saintly and celestial way..

Bupbakes as long as it was just gas and nothing semi-liquid you have the right.
And you didn't try to light it. (You didn't try, did yiu?)

That's the reason I never have baked beans with a breakfast fry-up.

So, have you pulled? Will you be having a threesome tonight?

'look UP aswell'

It was just gas, fortunately.

We'll seeif I've pulled in 45 mins when I have to take that same route again to pick up DS. Oh GOD...

Oh bupcake I'm sure they heard you alright!!!!

Get a dog, bupcakes, take it with you everywhere. They never mind being blamed.

I did do a very loud, unladylike 'windypop' in B&Q a while back, my husband thought I was calling him and came over to me so I blamed it on him and walked off..

"windypop"

Actually crying.

I'm wondering what your DH is called, LWITW, such that a fart sound resembles his name?!

Hello Reverend, whats bugging you?

He might be called Burt. A ,ot of my trumps sounds like "Burrrrrt"

When I'm at work I have to twist and bend and really concentrate. Sometimes I come damn near to slipping one out. On odd occasion I've scraped the chair back (simulated rasping noise) or just hope patient (usually older age group) either hasn't heard or too polite/horrified to comment.
In my defence I am a vegetarian

Could have been worse...at least you didnt (ahem) "follow through"

I accidentally farted in front of two cashiers in a toy shop yesterday whilst bending down to pick a ball up from the floor that 18 mo dd had knocked onto the floor. that was pretty embarrassing.

Do people acually really follow through? I thought it was urban myth.

Would you kick Robson Green out of bed for farting, Bupcakes
I bet he would hold your head under the duvet- bleurgh!