To want to shout ' ITS NOT THE SAME' when a collegue tells me it is.

[forsure]

I am tired. Am a lone parent and my childs father has been away, with work for 3 months.

Ive had not one momments break since then and i am really feeling it now. Im tired.

I mentioned to a collegue i was looking forward to the weekend, one because of how happy my child would be to see their father and one because im so tired i really need a break.

She just shock her head and laughed and said that she never gets a break.

I said, well, yes, but you have a husband who shares some of the work with you and your children are older than 4. ( ive one child who is 4, hers are 11 and 13)

She just said ' He does nothing ( i know for a fact he drops and pics the children up to and from school and they have just come back from a weeks holiday and this weekend hes taking them both away and shes on her own and the other month she went to vist her mum for the weeekend on her own)

Its not the same. At all. Pisses me off.

lol Curry. I should have been less euphemistic about my twee use of "sharing a bed" when obv I meant SEX.

Oi!
I am quite liking the "lifestyle" thing. It sounds like something one would adopt voluntarily, rather like being a naturist, or a narrow boat enthusiast.
Since amberleaf has had all the wine, I'm off to bed

amberleaf, no!

northernrock, you have no idea how hard it is being a naturist narrow boat enthusiast. The responsibility, managing difficult canal locks, the repetition, the splinters in delicate parts, the fact you can't just pop out to the shop for a pint of milk when you fancy. If you haven't tried it you really can't comment.

Abelia how could you be so insensitive to those of us who wish we had a narrow boat to be a naturist on

I actually find comments like the one's from GoArt somewhat offensive. As the child of a single parent I have seen how much of a struggle it can be in contrast to the rest of my family including myself who have partners to help, even with busy schedules and no lie ins or time to ones self. I have a sibling much younger than myself and due to a lack of a second parental figure, I have had to help massively over the years to compensate as my mum was reaching her limit as her age progressedand she has had no one to lean on.

It is DAMN HARD being a single parent, my mum had no weekend help from a secondary parental figure which also made a massive difference and still does. But even with that, the parent who has the child(ren) for the majority of the week has to bear with a lot more than most.

It is soooo draining, especially having to deal with the childs emotional and psychological needs. It is something I am prepared to do in life but from being the child of a single parent, would not want for my children.

Single parents are people I admire.

If all fairness to GOART, you cannot realise the difference being properly 'on your own' as a single parent means. I used to think like her when my husband worked away from home. Later on he became ill, even though he could do little and needed care himself, it was nice to have another adult in the house that i was attached to (but i still thought that i had the same life as that of a single mum). It was only after being widowed that i realised how mistaken i had been with the idea that my life mirrored a single mothers. But having said that it is the feeling that i have support if i (or my children) need it that i miss not any physical or material aspect. Some single mothers will have a great support system, some married women don't. It's not worth getting into arguements over because like everything else its down to individual circumstances.

Birdsgottafly good post.

I am now a single parent, after having been with their father for a long time.

I agree, it's not the same but to be honest it might be just as tough. I concur with your colleague in that I never got any time or space to myself when I was with exOH. Sometimes it felt like there was no space in the house for me, it was so busy and not even my bedroom was my own.

For me (and I can only speak for myself), I have more space and time for me as a single parent - even though it is rare I get a night with no children. I regularly get a night with just one, though, and last week and this I will have a night to myself.

So I can understand where your colleague was coming from - but my kids are older than yours and I can well remember how tiring the pre-school era was - they are constantly on the go and if you only have one it will always be you they want to spend time with. And that is hard work, there is no denying it. You must be exhausted and I hope you enjoy your weekend off.

The bottom line here is that parenting is tough and everyone's situation is relative to themselves. If you cannot demonstrate empathy with someone else, how do you expect them to empathize with you. The OP was not empathizing with her colleague any more than she was with her, hence her competitive response and the OP taking offense, feeling her situation was worse off.