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Original poster

To tell ds9 he can't go in neighbour's garden now they have a swimming pool

542 replies

Bluesatinsashes · 01/05/2011 22:51

Been lurking for a while but this is my first thread. I'd like to know what you wise ladies think. Our back gardens are easily accessible, separated by hedges only so kids can run between gardens to play. DS is a good swimmer but we also have a dd3 who can't swim, so I've told them both they can't go next door but one anymore. DS understands my reasons but it's going to be hard for him when he has to say he can't go over, isn't it?

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 01/05/2011 23:59

We normally put a pool up in the summer. Our rule is that we approve which of DCs' friends are allowed to use the pool. Random younger siblings are not allowed and are banned from the garden. We also make clear that we do not supervise the pool. When the pool is not in operation (eg the filter is on)we take the steps out

IMO you should be looking to fence in your garden. Having kids running to and fro gets annoying especially if there is a particular draw in one garden.

OP in my opinion you should not encourage children to run between gardens. Without a doubt there will be someone who is barely tolerating this just now. As DCs get bigger there will come a point where this becomes intolerable.

You need to enforce a few boundaries for your sake and everyone else's. If your DS is invited to go into the pool and he wants to then allow it. Dont let your children randomly trespass.

There is a saying - good fences make good neighbours.

NotaMopsa · 01/05/2011 23:59

pigletmania can you READ the thread

annawintour · 02/05/2011 00:00

Personally I would not allow my children to swim at a neighbours pool if that neighbour did not have an adequate fence around the pool.

I think the fact that the neighbour does not have adequate fencing is a huge sign that they don't really take water safety seriously.

But then I have lived in Australia and grown up around beaches and pools and am an extremely competent swimmer and this let your young child go swimming on their own is nonsense.

pigletmania · 02/05/2011 00:00

would have told mum where to go if she insisted accompanying me anywhere as a teen.

pigletmania · 02/05/2011 00:01

YES I CAN NotaMOpsa WHY!!!!

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:01

piss off? mewling? ffs?

my you are self-righteous and abusive with it

(and, by the way - yes)

pigletmania · 02/05/2011 00:02

Just because I choose to digress a bit does not mean I have not read the thread Hmm

squeakytoy · 02/05/2011 00:02

No Mopsa, I am simply mocking your utterly paranoid thinking.

I grew up with a stream running through the bottom of the garden. I could swim by the age of 2, and I swam for my county at the age of 8, so I am more than aware of the dangers of water, as I practically lived in it for most of my early years.

annawintour · 02/05/2011 00:03

GnomeDePlume - is your pool fenced?

Just thinking of the scenario where youngsters take a push chair and use that to climb up to the pool.

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:04

Mopsa - you aren't paranoid.

catchmeifyoucan · 02/05/2011 00:04

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QueenLaQueefer · 02/05/2011 00:05

Simply tell him when he goes over he cannot use the pool. Don't ban him entirely

Speak to the parents/homeowners about your concerns. I'd not let my 9yo go to someones house if I wasn't on speaking terms with their parents. Tell them he's not to go in the pool unless there is an adult present.

Get a fence up if you think the 3yo will escape.

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:06

excuse me - I am not a muppet

my children are not nervous wrecks

I do not lack vision to let my children live

you need to step back sweetie

NotaMopsa · 02/05/2011 00:06

ahhh my uncle did drown in a pool when he was 17 but that was many years ago...

paranoid no

careful and caring yes

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:07

Mopsa you should not have had to say that. There is abuse, for saying supervision is necessary? This is appalling.

catchmeifyoucan · 02/05/2011 00:07

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squeakytoy · 02/05/2011 00:08

my BIL died in a car crash when he was 18, but I didnt stop my kids from learning to drive and letting them drive on their own once they had passed their tests....

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:08

I don't think this is funny. You do. Your attitude is very strange and flippant.

NotaMopsa · 02/05/2011 00:08

Gooseberry PM'd you Grin

annawintour · 02/05/2011 00:09

- this might be interesting reading for SqueakyToy it is a bit dated now.

The risk of drowning in a fenced pool is about one quarter of that of drowning in an unfenced pool.

I'm amazed - can you have unfenced pools in the UK - is it legal???

NotaMopsa · 02/05/2011 00:10

sqeaky - my kids swim at the local pool without us from 12 onwards

under that age no

never

there should be legislation - this thread is an eye opener and not in a good way

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:10

I think some of you need to stop being so abusive. This is terrible. Two or three of us, with long experience of home pool safety or their dangers, are recommending supervision of a nine-year-old in a neighbour's pool. For that, we are coming under a shocking level of abuse.

squeakytoy · 02/05/2011 00:12

I would completely disagree that there should be legislation to restrict children from swimming. What next? cycling? crossing the road? climbing trees?

Legislation to ensure they learn to swim from the earliest possible age, yep, would totally agree with that, because the one thing I find a disgrace when I am on holiday is seeing bone idle parents lying there coated in factor 4, while their child is moaning about not being allowed near the pool.

midlandsmumof4 · 02/05/2011 00:14

Reinforce the fence and let DS over when he's asked. Buy a paddling pool for dd3 to play in and book some swimming lessons for her. It's not rocket science is it?...

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:14

"Legislation to ensure they learn to swim from the earliest possible age, yep, would totally agree with that, because the one thing I find a disgrace when I am on holiday is seeing bone idle parents lying there coated in factor 4, while their child is moaning about not being allowed near the pool."

This is irrelevant.

On top of which, a child's ability to swim does not mean they can't drown.

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