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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell ds9 he can't go in neighbour's garden now they have a swimming pool

542 replies

Bluesatinsashes · 01/05/2011 22:51

Been lurking for a while but this is my first thread. I'd like to know what you wise ladies think. Our back gardens are easily accessible, separated by hedges only so kids can run between gardens to play. DS is a good swimmer but we also have a dd3 who can't swim, so I've told them both they can't go next door but one anymore. DS understands my reasons but it's going to be hard for him when he has to say he can't go over, isn't it?

OP posts:
Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:26

I can't believe catchme. That's such a shocking attitude. Absolutely no clue.

GnomeDePlume · 02/05/2011 00:27

I am often shocked by one or two families in my neighbourhood who think it acceptable to allow their children to go into other people's gardens without checking this is okay. They have only gone into my garden the once - I used to work as a lifeguard and have a shout which can lift an annoying little scrote a neighbour's child clean out of his trainers.

We lived in the Netherlands for many years so have a fairly robust attitude to water. Parents should be making sure that their children dont trespass.

lynehamrose · 02/05/2011 00:27

To get back to the op..... Yabu for allowing your children to roam into other gardens uninvited. You need to put a stop to that.
IMO you are also unreasonable to just tell your 9 yr old he cannot ever go to that garden again. I would tell him he can go when invited, and I would offer to supervise if he's going in their pool- which will probably only be on a handful of occasions if this is in the uk! It sounds like these parents have got over excited about a couple of weeks of sunshine in April. I doubt the pool will be used as much as they think. But you are being mean I think to first of all allow your kids to think it is ok to wander into other peoples gardens, and then to just put a blanket ban on going to that particular one

worraliberty · 02/05/2011 00:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

squeakytoy · 02/05/2011 00:28

Squeakytoy - you come across as clueless when it comes to swimming and safety.

Then I suggest you try re-reading ALL my posts.

I am probably more clued up on swimming and safety than you. I am qualified to be a life guard, thanks to my parents insisisting I take the exams when I was in my teens.

As for abusive, Gooseberry, you need to be aware that there is a difference between abusive and a differing of opinion.

Original poster
Bluesatinsashes · 02/05/2011 00:29

Gnome - sorry my op was worded badly when I said 'I told them both'. dd doesn't go between gardens.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 02/05/2011 00:30

christ anna so we should not go swimming if there is nobody there to go with us Shock , major cottonwooling, and I am not talking about children.

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:30

Worra and squeaky - I think maybe you are the same person. Same flippant attitude. Same know-it-all, dismissive attitude.

ST - if you were the lifeguard my child would not be swimming.

Piss off you paranoid hysterical muppet not abusive?

Yeah - it is.

catchmeifyoucan · 02/05/2011 00:30

Actually Worra - you make a good point! They certainly do have a lot in common don't they?

Oh - yeah - I was going to bed wasn't I. Fell over the dog and traumatised myself. Grin - Might stay a while now!

NotaMopsa · 02/05/2011 00:31

worral who said they needed supervision

my post said '14 and 15 year olds need looking after'

i did not say watching in pools

you seem to think lax parenting is good parenting

i beg to differ

annawintour · 02/05/2011 00:32

Squeakytoy - were you allowed to go swimming by yourself? At what age?

And yes I realise that GB is surrounded by water but I do not think there is the safety emphasis placed on swimming as there is in Australia.

The complacency on this thread really shows the lack of awareness of the risk factors with swimming. I don't believe anyone on here is saying that there are not risks with roads, and cycling and climbing trees either by the way.

squeakytoy · 02/05/2011 00:33

if you were the lifeguard my child would not be swimming

and on what would you base that? do not be so bloody ridiculous.

from what you have said, unless you were there flapping along with a dinghy, your child wouldnt be allowed to swim until it was 38 anyway...

pigletmania · 02/05/2011 00:33

I used to go down the beach on my own in Gibralter to swim, I quite liked having it all to myself

squeakytoy · 02/05/2011 00:34

Anna, read back like I suggested. I went swimming with friends, ie without parents, from the age of 7. I was fully aware of the risks.

I will repeat this again, I lived close to a canal, and two reservoirs. I never swam in either, simply because I was aware of the dangers that both can hold.

pigletmania · 02/05/2011 00:34

nobody wanted to go with me, and I was sure not staying at the hotel while dh was having 40 winks.

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:35

from what I have said, my children were swimming like fish from the age of 2-4 and they have grown up in a pool community

perhaps you should read people's posts before jumping to conclusions

I would base that on your complacent attitude - that children do not need watching in a pool

annawintour · 02/05/2011 00:35

Pigletmania - now don't twist my words - I said not going swimming alone.

I'll be interested to see if Squeaky the lifeguard got told the same in her training and whether she agrees with that perspective?

pigletmania · 02/05/2011 00:36

Exactly squeaky children do need educating at an early age about the dangers of water and water safety, that should be paramount in the Nat Curriculum.

squeakytoy · 02/05/2011 00:36

I would tell you Anna, but you probably wouldnt notice as you seem to have selective sight when it comes to my posts.

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:37

As you seem to have selective sight when it comes to mine.

We'd all read with enthusiasm what your lifeguard training said about children swimming alone.

pigletmania · 02/05/2011 00:37

I got taught to swim at primary school as we were taken every week to the local swimming baths, I dont think that they do that anymore.

FabbyChic · 02/05/2011 00:37

OMG this thread has gone mental. Sorry OP it seems to have gone off on a tangent a bit, I wouldn't stop your boy from going but if you are wary about him going in the pool, tell the neighbours he needs to be supervised, i.e have an adult out and about watching.

And hey I like Squeeky stop slagging them off.

catchmeifyoucan · 02/05/2011 00:37

Did squeaky say she was a life guard or that she had undertaken life guard training Anna? Only you seem to be getting your pants all in a wedgy now as well - do you not think there's enough angst on this thread already?

Gooseberrybushes · 02/05/2011 00:38

Yes Fab there are some utterly unhinged views about water safety here, I agree.

boosmummie · 02/05/2011 00:38

Where I live pools (private or not) MUST be fenced in. I think (but not sure) that this is an EU Directive. I know here (Spain) it is being enforced, certainly with community pools in the urbanisations. Three years ago at one next to us there were two drownings. One was a 2 year old who apparently fell, unnoticed into the small 'baby' (12" deep) pool. The other was a 16 year old who hit head on way in (diving) and was knocked unconscious - both times there was 'supervision' of sorts (parents for one/life guard for other).

My older children swim like fish and I have no concerns about them as they do NOT lark about (teenage drowner was someone they knew). DD3 is 2 and also swims well, but I made damn sure she was able to from about 14 months.

Living where I do, it does shock me at times at how many 'able' children (I'm referring to 4-12 generally) get themselves into bother.

There is cautious and there is being way over the top cautious, but all too sadly there are stories EVERY summer here iof drownings, and there's on average one a week that we hear about in Andalucia.