To tell ds9 he can't go in neighbour's garden now they have a swimming pool

[Bluesatinsashes]

Been lurking for a while but this is my first thread. I'd like to know what you wise ladies think. Our back gardens are easily accessible, separated by hedges only so kids can run between gardens to play. DS is a good swimmer but we also have a dd3 who can't swim, so I've told them both they can't go next door but one anymore. DS understands my reasons but it's going to be hard for him when he has to say he can't go over, isn't it?

Where did this thing about no supervision come into it? The op said she wont let her son go in that garden any more. Full stop. I think that's strange. Let him go(if invited) for a supervised play in the pool

even a 14 and 15 year old needs looking after

ffs... get a grip

trip, bang head on side

laughing, inhale, down, up, no one notices, down, up, down

stuck under a float

swimming underwater competition going wrong

leg pulling

ducking

cramp

blah blah blah

in 8 weeks two of my children are going 6000 miles away for a month

not sure i am clippping their wings

feeling here seems to be that it's just fine, competent swimmers etc, I used to go down the canal and so on

if you were pool owners I wouldn't let my child come to your house without an assurance that my idea of supervision is the same as yours

so far most of you seem unaware of the dangers

are they aged over 30?

So the op bans her ds from setting foot in the garden again? Even if he's invited over and can hear other 9 yr olds splashing around? He just gets told No. I think that's very silly parenting and more likely to make him feel inclined to sneak around and take dangerous risks

mopsa won't say what mine have been up to but the idea i'm protectively paranoid is laughable

pools are summat else

I am talking about a bigger picture

My university aged child can drink with the rest of them but I still offer sage advice on limits...

My 8 year old can swim - but not out of my sight - not with a neighbour 'supervising'

no

lyne - depends if someone is there supervising

who cares if you think it's silly parenting - at least op will know her child is safe

so far most of you seem unaware of the dangers

there are dangers in every single aspect of life, no matter what your age, but at some point, you have to unwrap the cotton wool, and let your children out into the world, as hard as it may be....

I am well aware of the dangers of the big bad world, but I didnt suffocate my kids and stop them from experiencing independence as they grew up.

Actually gooseberry a very great many of us here have successfully raised children through normal childhoods full of fun and adventure and allowed them to experience and learn about risk and danger. You seem to want to raise children who at 20 will be quite unable to cross the road at best and at worst will be too damned nervous to leave the bloody house. Get a grip and allow them a childhood.

'supervising' adults child injured /on the loo/ runs inside

supervising adult no longer supervising

So why does the op not agree to supervise her son? She posted that she has just put a blanket ban on him going there! Yes, that is very silly parenting and quite irresponsible I think.

"You seem to want to raise children who at 20 will be quite unable to cross the road at best and at worst will be too damned nervous to leave the bloody house. Get a grip and allow them a childhood."
"there are dangers in every single aspect of life"

yes thanks for the lecture quite unnecessary given some of the extraordinary things my children have done - which I can say with some high degree of probability are far more dangerous than things your children have done

perhaps you should look at those stats

making sure they don't die in a pool is not suffocation

Christ mopsa - do you take your kids to the loo with you? What if, you know, they tripped over the cat or something whilst you were having a dump??

Mopsa - I'm actually shocked at the complacency. Are you?

standing at the edge of the pool with a lifebelt when your competently swimming 15yr old is suffocation.

What catchmeifyoucan said, totally agree with you.

did somebody suggest standing at the edge of a pool with a lifebelt while a competent fifteen yo is swimming?

or did somebody just create a very large and irrelevant straw man?

Yes I am Gooseberry - and the 'get a grip' argument just looks silly

yes thanks for the lecture quite unnecessary given some of the extraordinary things my children have done - which I can say with some high degree of probability are far more dangerous than things your children have done

Really? D of E Gold, Army Cadets, flown in a Chinook, several survival courses and many many other activities (some with minimum supervision) and all this pre 16 yrs of age? Piss off with your assumptions - I'm not the one mewling on about not allowing kids to look at swimming pools ffs.

Supervising 14 or 15 year olds in pools , used to go swimming with my friends at that age, and go use the tube with my friends at that age to go Ice Skating on my OWN,

squeaky toy you are making things up

I'm guessing that none of you have ever had pools or lived in a pool community. That's all I can grasp at. This level of complacency about pools is unbelievable.