I would post this in feminism but I've never posted there so .... AIBU to have emailed a company

[changingmynameagain]

Backstory - am looking to get a pop up tent - how boring.

Anyway, stockists locally are a major sports/camping retailer.

I was on the website looking to find out if they had the tent I wanted in stock to go and buy it, but also so that they could demonstrate it to me - how it goes up and down.

Anyway, I'm on the website filling in the "contact us" form and the only options for "Title" are

Mr

Mrs

Miss

Now, call me pedantic but I'm divorced, so I'm not a Mrs. I'm not a never married so I'm not a Miss.

There was NO OPTION for Ms.

For some reason this really got my goat and in the comments box of the page I actually typed

"Oh and for your information there's no option in your title box for Ms. I am divorced, therefore I am not a Mrs. I was married, therefore I am not a Miss. Please could you get some of your IT boffins to insert the option for Ms. In this day and age, I think it is unfair that the only options available on the form for a woman to have as a title refer to her marital status."

And yes, I know it's trivial but it got right up my nose.

'i really wouldnt get worked up about it, you cant tell wether the man is married,single or divorced by him ticking MR so i cant see what the problem would be,im sure the office doesnt really mind (care) what realtionship status you are they just need it to head a letter'

Are you kidding?

Is it fair that women must be identified by their marital status but men never are. I mean come on this is feminism 101 stuff.

YADNBU OP. It's fucking ridiculous in this day and age.

Why not leave the field blank altogether so you can type your own title in.

I think MN should start a campaign !!!:)

I go by Ms in the USA but not in England because I have had so many people ask me if I am divorced.. sigh

No I am Ms because my marital arrangment is unimportant to you. If you mattered to me you would know that I am in fact very happily married but I don't need to state that in my title.

grrrr yanbu

YANBU, I contacted Phones4U about the very same thing. They had a compulsory tick box for Mr, Mrs or Miss. I am a Ms (and will remain one after marriage).

I sent a fairly ranty e-mail enquiring about their need to know my marital status to buy a phone, and that I assumed it was not because they needed to contact my father or husband for their permission. Credit to them they sent a very polite e-mail back but I don't know if the form has been changed.

Oh you're younger than my mum then, she's 51 :o

YANBU I did the same thing recently. Can't remember which company it was now but they did say they'd look into it. I also correct anyone who calls me 'Miss' or 'Mrs' (call-centre staff etc). These may look like small things on their own but they matter.

What business do you have putting tent up? I trust you will have male assistance?

And more to the point what is the relevence of the field anyway?

YANBU! Don't be afraid to post on the feminist section....they're very nice. I sometimes post there for advice on emails where I am complaining about this kind of thing...very helpful folk they are.

I love being Mrs. I'd for that to be done away with.

I will be putting the tent up all by myself

I have had a short email reply from James at Decathalon to say that they have the tent in stock and he has sent my query (huh?) reference my title to the IT people at head office.

I replied Thanks James I'll be down in the next few days to look at the tent. I am genuinely puzzled as to why my marital status is relevant to my ability to purchase a tent

He started the email Dear Miss changing

Even though I said in the original email I was a Ms

GRRRRR

And sighs

Glad I'm not BU

YANBU. Supposing you were Dr, Prof or Reverand?

BTW it is not necessary to be divorced to be a Ms. I was Ms before I was married, and now I am married I am still a Ms.

I mean suppose.

Red - that's what I mean, even if I got married again I'd stay a Ms

I am in my 40s and was a Ms but now I'm a Dr. I was horrified my nieces both choose to be referred to as Mrs Husbands firsts name, surname at their weddings, I thought it was us older ones who got more upset about this kind of thing.

My (now ex) MIL never ever wrote a card to me with my own name on it. It was always Mrs husbandsfirstname marriedsurname

YANBU but I was a Ms when married to my first dh, I am Mrs now I am married second time, under your circ I would have clicked Mr and be done with it.

I had Ms my first name and surname at my wedding and my FIL said "Oh you're one of those are you?" I genuinely didn't realise at first WTF he was talking about.

I don't mind getting rid of Miss and Mrs in favour of something that is neutral like Mr is but I don't like Ms because it sounds odd when you say it...like it's missing a vowel.

If they could fix the way it sounds I'd stop being a Mrs in an instant

YANBU. I was miffed the other day when my only options were "Mrs" or "Ms". I'm not married, where is my "Miss" option?? Why have "Rev", "Dr", "Prof." etc. but not Miss?!

YANBU. I am Mr on several accounts because there was no Ms option and the field was compulsory :)

I think they may as well just remove that line entirely. However surely you must realise that website software just comes like that? It's not as though anyone says "I'm going to sell phones. Make me a form that will offend Feminists, Professors and Dukes."

Dita, me too! I always love it when the menu includes options like 'Rear Admiral' or 'Lady' but have not yet had the guts to select one of them.

YANBU.

The best thing about having a doctorate is that it allows me to snap 'It's DOCTOR, actually' when snotty form filling people ask me if it's Miss or Mrs.