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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell dh not to buy me underwear

199 replies

scruffybird · 25/04/2011 15:13

Dh just phoned to check bra size as he was about to go into la senza to get me an underwear set.
I said I would rather he didn't as my birthday is coming up and I can think of many things I would rather. Also we have a holiday to pay for, so no spare cash.
He got funny and said 'right, I'll come home then'.
AIBU?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 25/04/2011 15:16

A little bit I suppose. It was a nice thought but then if you can't afford it, probably best for him not to.

FabbyChic · 25/04/2011 15:16

yes you were, he wanted to buy you something nice and you basically told him no.

he was being thoughtful, he wanted to treat you and you came out with practicalities.

let him spoil you, it was a lovey thought and you ruined it.

Original poster
scruffybird · 25/04/2011 15:18

But underwear from there isn't a treat for me, it is scratchy and uncomfortable, its more for his benefit

OP posts:
hairylights · 25/04/2011 15:20

Yanbu! I used to hate my exs choice of underwear for me and never used to wear it. It was always for his benefit and always very slutty .

worraliberty · 25/04/2011 15:21

It can't all be scratchy and uncomfortable surely?

Also the 'more for his benefit' statement is a bit mean I think.

It was a lovely thought, but if money is tight then I suppose it's best he doesn't treat you.

NettoSuperstar · 25/04/2011 15:21

Oooh, I love slutty underwearGrin

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 25/04/2011 15:22

poor bloke. you threw it back in his face. i can understand you were being sensible but you could have dealt with it in a way that didn't throw his thoughtfulness back in his face. and - how much does an underwear set cost anyway that it was worth hurting his feelings? How would you have felt if you wanted to do something nice for ihm and he basically turned round and said "don't bother" ??

although I am surprised he doesn't know your size.

worraliberty · 25/04/2011 15:22

Me too Netto Grin

hairylights · 25/04/2011 15:24

You are quite welcome to my ex then Wink knock yourselves out! It was just the kind of slutty underwear that wasnt up my street, made me feel uncomfortable, and said a lot more about his attitude to me in general (comments like "women can just lie there even if they aren't in the mood. Its part of being married").

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 25/04/2011 15:25

x-post. ah well, that's different. if he was going to buy you a red lace crotchless set with nipple tassles then YANBU Grin

hairylights · 25/04/2011 15:29

Lol Hecate Grin. After my experiences I must admit to hate men buying women underwear.

And have gone from that scenario to the current Mr Hairy telling me I am rampant ! Lol. ( we are ttc and I am ovulating :) )

Ooopsadaisy · 25/04/2011 15:34

I've had to do this too.

If he wants to buy me underwear then I don't mind underwear I can actually wear, but not stuff my boobs fall out of and give me a wedgey inside my jeans.

A nice sensible t-shirt bra that is designed for the fuller bust in a neutral shade and a few pairs of matching, plain, seamless thongs will do nicely thanks.

I am not the Whore of Babylon, I am a down to earth, sporty woman in my 40s. Thank you.

He now buys me vouchers! Grin

OP - be kind, but honest. I'm sure he'll understand that you don't want him to spend money on things you won't use.

hairylights · 25/04/2011 15:39

Love it oops Grin.

DontdoitKatie · 25/04/2011 15:44

YANBU. If the underwear is for his pleasure, not yours, it's hardly a gift.

beesimo · 25/04/2011 15:47

I love love love underwear I wear matching sets from Bavisammo, I think its great your DH wants to buy you it.

He obviously sees you as a sexual being not just a wife and Mam revel in it OP imagine how you would feel if he was buying you a delux Fat Fryer instead?

QueenAbcinthiaXVI · 25/04/2011 15:50

DP only tried to buy me underwear once. He knocked into some display and it fell down along with all the knickers on the table.

He's been too embarrassed to ever attempt it again.

thomasbodley · 25/04/2011 15:50

My DH used to buy me all kinds of tat. I know it's the thought that counts and honestly he's ACE in other ways, but the waste of money used to drive me bonkers.

I have an Amazon wishlist now. It allows you to select items from other websites too. Now I get bought lovely presents when he wants a pink chit to spoil me. Problem solved.

NettoSuperstar · 25/04/2011 16:03

I'd quite like a delux fat fryer too.

I like slutty underwear and cooking. Why am I single?ConfusedGrin

Ooopsadaisy · 25/04/2011 16:05

I got a mop and bucket for Mothers Day once.

Still better than whorish kecks imho.

Dozer · 25/04/2011 16:28

Yanbu.

ExitPursuedByALamb · 25/04/2011 16:33

YANBU - I had to tell my DH to stop buying me earrings - as I didn't like the ones he bought me. When together I would choose ones I liked, but he never seemed to get the hint. DD now chooses with him so things have improved Grin

megapixels · 25/04/2011 16:33

YANBU. Don't know why it has to be about his feelings, the gift is for YOU, and you don't want it. So better to tell him no than accept a gift while seething.

Original poster
scruffybird · 25/04/2011 16:42

Have had an argument about it now. Resulting in the real reason he was buying it was he wants me to wear more sexy underwear sets, and me now feeling crap because I don't wear many sexy underwear sets

OP posts:
beesimo · 25/04/2011 16:45

op

Why not?

hairylights · 25/04/2011 16:47

He's being a twunt.

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