To tell dh not to buy me underwear

[scruffybird]

Dh just phoned to check bra size as he was about to go into la senza to get me an underwear set.
I said I would rather he didn't as my birthday is coming up and I can think of many things I would rather. Also we have a holiday to pay for, so no spare cash.
He got funny and said 'right, I'll come home then'.
AIBU?

Itchy bra that should say!

I get mine in John Lewis they have some very expensive and so presumably posh stuff there?

Bravissimo bras are very good if you are larger of bust.

That aint what you said SGM! I was going to ask whether you had mis-typed, knowing you as I do...

I buy mine from debenhams, they are very good, some are a bit expensive but excellent.

Sardine

'trussed up like a chicken' no thanks

beautiful black lace bras and matching french knickers yes yes yes!!!

I think he was silly not in choosing to buy you underwear- plenty of people like underwear gifts and he wasn't to know- but in phoning you to ask you what size you are. The sensible thing to do is find out the size in advance while doing the laundry, it stops anyone feeling awkward by announcing their size (just like people don't like being asked their age or weight) and keeps the present a surprise.

It is what she said - you just have to read it right

Beesimo - what was your name before you namechanged? I just can't put my finger on it but find your style familiar.

When I worked in JOhn Lewis we used to sell loads of skimpy lacy underwear before xmas and valentines day. Most of it came back, often to be switched for practical knickers 2 sizes bigger.

A lot of men haven't got a frigging clue.

I don't think that he was in a strop-he was just a bit hurt to be rebuffed. I like underwear gifts and would be grateful to be asked size.

I would be very upset if DH brought me large, practical knickers! I would probably throw them at him!

YANBU!

You don't like the stuff, you don't want to wear it, he's buying it as a gift to himself for his own benefit.

That's not what a gift is about.

And if she's 'in danger of getting jeff all' if she doesn't just put up and shut up with underwear she doesn't like or want, then she's married to an inconsiderate person.

My husband likes very loose boxers. So that's what he wears. I can't imagine buying him thong underwear for his birthday because I want him to wear it for me. WTF? He's not an object.

What's sexy about him is what's inside that underwear.

Not even one of those hilarious elephant thongs expat? What man could resist one of those?

Chipping

Have never named changedI will be going off MN for awhile when I get my face done but if I come back I will use the same name

Whenyou get your face done? If you are getting an eyelift tell me how it goes I'm saving for mine

face done?

Ok still arguing.
Can I ask do you all wear sexy matching underwear on a regular basis and sometimes nighties?

Nope I don't even wear matching socks never mind undies! And I wear pj bottoms and tshirts to bed. Lasrt time I wore a nighty it was when I gave birth but that's probably not the type you meant!

Banged my face of a fence post when I had my riding accident got a bit of nerve damage on one side it looks a bit like I've had a stroke when I smile or laugh. Family/friends have been lying that it looks ok/better but I'm not stupid. Rest ofmy injuries are okish but I am very vain about my face which I know is silly and shallow. DH does not want me to go for OP as it means a GA I will get my way in the end but it is all a bit upsetting.

I know I am being pathetic and silly as I could be in a wheelchair so don't bother telling me also Gem it has nothing to do with being sexual attractive for my DH this one is all about ME not being able to cope with it he 'couldn't give a shit as long as your still here'

Do you ever think your man dresses in an unexciting way? Sandals with socks? Comb-over? Mustache? Awful trousers? Jumpers knitted by his mum?

Want to change him? Ever bought him something that you'd rather see him in, being not what he normally wears?

Because for pity's sake that's why we buy you underwear. We're telling you that we simply hate with a vengeance the plain stuff, the flaggy stuff, the grey stuff, the built like armour on a tank stuff. We see you as sexual beings.

We still fancy the pants off you after all these years. It's just that when we see you in THOSE pants, our ardor cools and you become not the siren who lured us onto the rocks, but the mother of our 2 children who, although adorable, are the reason why we don't think about or have sex as often as we used to.

So we buy you some sexy stuff. It has to be stuff we find sexy, because FFS we haven't got a frigging clue what you think sexy - your underwear draw tells us zilch.

So - accept (and wear with good grace and gay abandon) the uncomfortable stuff we buy you - the slutty stuff - the stuff that makes you feel like a joint of pork all strung up - and (shudder!) the crotchless stuff. Then next time you buy stuff for yourself, buy something that YOU think is sexy - and wear it regularly.

So we'll know next time what to buy.

Wow collaberate just wow....

Collaborate if you really and genuinely saw women as sexual beings you wouldn't have to get them to dress up in certain clothing in order to get a hard on.

OP no sexy underwear or nighties here! DH thinks I am sexy, me. I mean, I'm sure he wouldn't object if I got dressed up in something uniform but he doesn't ask me to, he wouldn't expect me to, he fancies me for me. Ditto I don't ask him to get into a skin-tight leotard before we shag. He turns me on, his body, him.

Bolding went bonkers there sorry

OP I can't believe your DH is having a row with you about this.

In fact, is collaborate your DH?

Who's 'we'?

Because some men couldn't care less about what the person is wearing and don't 'hate the plain stuff' because they just don't care as long as you and they have a sex life that they feel is healthy and fun.

I'm a sexual being to him regardless of clothes.

And no, I don't try to change my 'man', who is my husband and a man in his own right. I don't need to, I married the person, not his clothes and stuff.

'Can I ask do you all wear sexy matching underwear on a regular basis and sometimes nighties?'

No, never. Nor does he wear sexy matching underwear or 'sexy' pajamas (or pajamas at all).

'So - accept (and wear with good grace and gay abandon) the uncomfortable stuff we buy you - the slutty stuff - the stuff that makes you feel like a joint of pork all strung up - and (shudder!) the crotchless stuff.'

How about not playing games with your partner or spouse. Being honest and treating them like an adult and then expecting the same treatment in return by saying, 'I don't like clothes like this'? Because for my husband, if I don't find it sexy, neither does he. And vice versa. We get off on each other's pleasure and discuss, mutually and together, what turns us on rather.

Personally, I'm not interested in a 'man' who hasn't got a clue. If he got to my age - 40 - and still doesn't get it, I can tell you right now I wouldn't want to give him a BJ just for the hell of it and having a wild ride as frequently as DH and I do now.