i want my dd to wear pretty things in her hair

[AuntiePickleBottom]

everything i put in her hair, she pulls out.
her fringe is long and gets in her eyes, can't get it cut as she will not stay still long enough.

i just wants her hair to look nice, instead of it looking like the end of a mop

blackcoffee I read what you posted earlier about the man in the shop. Have I got it right that the man who works in there didn't recognise you because you were in a track suit rather than a suit? That seems really odd. What do you thin that says about him, if he can't recognise someone he knows because she has different clothes on?

thanks for all the replys, i will be leaving her hair alone. (after all it's only hair)

With my son who is 5, he wears his siter hair stuff in his hair and loves having his hair cut....he always has so never been a issue.

i didn't think by trying to do her hair i was gender sterotyping, she has loads of toy cars and a tool bench and i would never stop her from playing with any "boy" toys.

*sister hair stuff

I was thinking on this again this morning whilst watching my 8 year old preening her hair for School, & laughing to myself at how much its changed since her ripping clips & hair ties out of her hair, as she now favours quite OTT fashionable hair bands & trying to remember how I got around the practicality on not having her hair flopping in her eyes -

she was born with a mass of proper hair, which she never lost, so I hit this stage a lot younger than 2,

I found I got around the problem of her not sitting still for a hair cut quite easily by turning it into a game, we played "hairdressers" - stool, towel as a gown, change your voice & call her madam etc etc - she loved it & a few minutes later she had a neatly trimmed fringe - personally I hate going to the hairdressers, so no idea why she would know about them & think it was a good thing at such a young age, but she did & it worked :)

Theres no harm at all in looking after yourself, in all ways if thats what you choose, but I agree that its important not to be superficial, I was brought up with the mantra - beauty is as beauty does & its certainly one I pass on to DD

& sadly though I think these days, sexism can still exist to some degree in many forms, but I also think that how badly you are effected by that is down as much to how tough you are at dealing with it - thats just life, its just human nature - I also believe there ARE differences in the sexes that should be accepted as just that -differences & not shout sexism at every perceived slight.

In my experience, when it comes to beauty in other Women, Women can be some of the worst sexists around

Look, the kicking the OP got was not because of the idea that hairclips are inherently evil. It was because she was hurting her daughter to make her 'look pretty'. Some hair accessories are genuinely painful to wear; they dig in to the scalp or pull the hair constantly. WHile it's up to an adult (or older chld) to decide that the trade off in terms of appearance is worth a bit of pain, it's wrong to do this to a child, particularly if you are doing it for sexist reasons. It is a direct continuum from there to mutliating a child's genitals in the name of culture and superstition.

I agree that its wrong to force a 2 year old into anything they really don't want to wear, (bar put a coat when neededon etc) whether or not its uncomfortable -

but bl@@dy h£ll springchickencomparing hair clips to circumcision smacks massively of chip on the proverbial shoulder

Not saying that at all dittany & yes I agree worldwide there is sadly still a massive amount of improvement to be made, but here in the UK your argument doesn't stand up -

These days thanks to our ancestors - sexism is only bullying if you LET it be, just as any other form of bullying is, it exists, its sadly Human nature, you cannot deny that - but surely calling discrimination & gender stereotyping at every turn DOES NOT do those that wonderful strong Women who fought for those rights any service at all -

IMHO it belittles it, by making simple gender difference & human nature an arena for sexism, when thanks to them, we really don't have much left to fight for, - so instead of presuming that because YOU don't like so called gender stereotype roles & adornment & that the rest of us only aspire to it because we are slaves to sexism perhaps you need to take a long hard look at yourselves & realise that whatever YOUR personal experiences are that have brought you to your views, they are just that YOUR views

shouting down a couple of hair grips as stereotyping & comparing it to circumcision girls is OTT & IMO out & out bonkers

blackcoffee, yes there is always someone out there who's homophobic, racist or sexually discriminatory. But the social context and legal framework have changed beyond recognition since this time last century.

1911:

no votes for women, restricted rights to own and inherit property, not allowed to enter certain professions never mind be paid equal pay for equal work;

male homosexuality punishable by jail and, outside the legal system, by beating to death;

racial discrimination and persecution not merely legal but completely socially normal.

The changes by 2011 weren't achieved by an edict from the heavens. They weren't even achieved just by the heroes standing out of the crowd. They were achieved by the crowd. Each person making tiny decisions at every moment whether to play along, or to resist.

Reading this thread has made me think there's a lot left to fight for in the UK.

Can't believe how some things seem to have gone backwards since the 1970s.

who said i was hurting my daughter to get clips in her hair, i have never forced the issue on her, never pinned her down.

i may want to do all the pretty clips ect, but i am not prepared hurt her in order to put some hair assessorys in her hair

No your right Girls dress up to be pretty - & that should be - if they so choose

& boys dress up to be HANDSOME

we obviously move in very different circles, as I'm used to boys being dressed up more so than girls, because generally IME boys don't actually care that much what they wear, so they are PUT in clothes chosen by Mum, that SHE wants to see them look handsome in - to HER tastes - surely thats worse than a little girl choosing to wear pretty things of her own accord??

The little girls I know, tend to fight back & have their own opinion pretty damned young, my own DD was just very very early in that & trust me I am not one for fluffy girly adornment in children, personally I HATE it, but DD didn't & that was her choice - she liked fancy hair slides & bows, just not the plainer less fussy practical ones I chose to keep her hair off her face.

& yes of course that goes on - but rapist & abuse is not just about sexism, but bullying full stop - if they didn't have the women in their lives to bully, they would find something else - so it is not about sexism - but about weak angry people wanting to feel powerful......just as its often about people with low self esteem who become the victims of abusive relationships - it happens in Gay/Lesbian relationships too

& yes my statement did come out a bit too generalised there, so you are right, not accurate -

I was speaking in general terms as regards not accepting sexism in everyday life - as I know too well sexism can & does still exist in the work place, but its not actually about equality for women, its about companies needing to have reliable staff to survive - & probably more about equality for MEN - as lets face it, if we were equal in parental rights & I mean REALLY equal - there wouldn't be a case for employers worrying about a Mother becoming an unreliable employee?? - that worry would apply to BOTH parents - so instead of women being at risk of losing jobs due to becoming Mothers - ALL parents would

BUT I really do NOT think that a couple of hair slides etc makes for a weak Woman who invites & perpetuates sexism - I'll carry on with my lipstick, & pull on my heels when I choose to, because I like it & you can think otherwise if you like, thats your perogative - but it does not make you right, just in MHO - a bit bonkers :)

CBA we'll just have to agree to disagree :)

^who said i was hurting my daughter to get clips in her hair, i have never forced the issue on her, never pinned her down.

i may want to do all the pretty clips ect, but i am not prepared hurt her in order to put some hair assessorys in her hair^

don't worry AuntyPickleBottom I think most of us with genuine replies, rather than those looking for a platform for spouting their own personal feminist agenda on - DIDN"T read you hurting your DD into your OP

I agre with cutting her a fringe, (the game worked for us) or have you tried letting her choose her own hair slides/ties - it might just be that she doesn't like the ones you choose for her??

on a more practical note: I have always put my DC in front of the TV for the time it takes to cut their hair. They were mesmerized and very still.

i have tried everything, but will brave the hairdressers with a game

On the fringe cutting thing, I did the same as rockin and did the whole "pretending to be at the hairdressers" thing - I sat her in a chair and put a mirror in front and nattered on in a silly voice and that kept her interest for enough time to cut her fringe.

It was strange that it worked considering she probably didn't know what a hairdresser was, but there you go! Maybe the mirror is the key.

Xposts worth a try I reckon.

Apparently children don't play up at the real hairdressers - I've never tried it myself mind.

[stickingtongueoutemoticon]