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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked the receptionist to switch off the Lady GaGa video...

215 replies

MooMooFarm · 30/03/2011 12:49

My DS is deeply embarrassed after a visit to the orthodontist. We were waiting in the reception, which had a music channel showing on a big screen - there were ten or so children/teens waiting for appointments. My v young DD was with us.

Anyway Lady GaGa came on with the video to 'Telephone' or whatever it's called. I've not watched it before but was a bit [shocked] at the video. When it got to the bit where she's wearing nothing but a bit of gaffer tape I (quietly) asked the receptionist if she would please switch it off as it wasn't appropriate viewing for my young daughter. It was quickly switched off without comment.

I then spent another five minutes being given snotty looks by other teens in the room and my DS is saying I need to 'stop being a grumpy old granny'.

AIBU?

OP posts:
cricketballs · 30/03/2011 19:55

how old is your dd? Does she even understand what was going on! I do really feel sorry for you ds though having to squirm whilst his ott mother embarrasses him......

hocuspontas · 30/03/2011 19:57

lol at forcing the waiting room to watch Doctors or Cash in the Attic! YABVU for that op! Grin

Bramshott · 30/03/2011 19:58

IMHO most music videos are not about encouraging a healthy and uninhibted attitude to sex, they are all about degrading and misogynistic treatment of women, and as such, I will try to ensure that the DDs (now 4 and 8) avoid them for as long as they can!

Fresh2death · 30/03/2011 19:58

flesh generally shown for cash not of own accord

considering the artist in question wears a variety of extravagant costumes, not all showing flesh, do you believe that she flashes for cash ?!?!?

music is an industry where women can and do dominate and have power and influence, have you ever thought they some are happy in fact confident to show flesh whether it be for their own need or not - or would you rather have a generation of women believe they arent responsible for their own decisions, if they show flesh its for an ulterior motive nothing else ... seriously get a grip

Fresh2death · 30/03/2011 20:00

I will try to ensure that the DDs (now 4 and 8) avoid them for as long as they can!

you might want to ban films, t.v, magazines, billboard advertising, music, any discussion regarding clothing ... actually the amish might be the solution - safe not sorry eh!

NettoSuperstar · 30/03/2011 20:01

I'd never have embarrassed my teen like that.

Why do you think that something that'll go over your 4yr old's head, is more important than your teen?

Greenwing · 30/03/2011 20:07

YANBU
Music channels (aka the soft porn channel) are not suitable for general viewing!

Fresh2death · 30/03/2011 20:09

songs of praise it is then ....

Ditablue · 30/03/2011 20:10

Wow OP can't believe some of the abuse you're getting about this. YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT to gently and quietly ask the receptionist to switch over. This is a great opportunity to teach your sign about the dangers of objectifying women and how he should always respect those who respect themselves. I am flabbergasted at some of the vitriolic responses you are getting....where have all the feminists gone? And as for the argument that it's Gaga's choice to wear hardly anything and flash her bits - yes that's because she knows in a male dominated industry sex sells...doesn't make it correct or something you would want your children to emulate. Instead of just giving in to public acceptance of degrading women surely we should be combatting it at every turn.

Fresh2death · 30/03/2011 20:12

male dominated industry .....

explain

Ditablue · 30/03/2011 20:32

teach your son

Ditablue · 30/03/2011 20:41

Hmm the fact that the music industry is run by male executives, male music producers and managers who in their simplistic brains think sexualising women is the easiest way to sell records. Think how unusual it is to see artists like Adele making it big and selling records by maintaining their dignity and using the power of their voices to make money. And how common it is to see hot pant clad Katy Perry, leotard wearing Beyonce/Gaga, Britney, Rihanna the list is almost endless selling their bodies music with sex. Is this what you want to teach your daughters? or indeed sons - that respect, authority and power can be yours if you're willing to parade your body in as little a possible - or do you want to encourage them to see past the shallow images sold to us everyday and use their brains in thinking that maybe as women we can achieve all that is rightfully ours without degradation?

Animation · 30/03/2011 20:48

NettoSuperstar.

Are you for real - not protecting a 4 year old from watching a sexy video like this one?

thefirstMrsDeVere · 30/03/2011 20:49

animation thats what I said.

Animation · 30/03/2011 20:51

Did you?

Why?

thefirstMrsDeVere · 30/03/2011 20:54

What is all this about not embarrassing a teenager?

If it were me I would have explained to my teenager why I thought it was innapropriate. As it goes my teen would be already well aware why I would be asking for the video to be turned off.

If the teen was still embarrassed so what? Are we all supposed to abandon our principles incase our 16 years olds are forced to cringe?

What a weird concept. Apart from anything else its a waste of time. If you had sat there approving of Lady Ga Ga your teen would think you were excruciating.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 30/03/2011 20:55

Why did I say what you said? Probably because we agree Confused

Animation · 30/03/2011 20:57

Oh I see - we both said the same thing.

Good job! Grin

StewieGriffinsMom · 30/03/2011 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 30/03/2011 21:02

As far as I can see the OP didnt stand on the coffee table, kick off the year old issues of 'take a break' and start burning her bra whilst reciting 'Female Enuch'

She politely asked the receptionist to change the channel and explained why.

Hardly OTT and hardly subjecting her teenager to emotional abuse.

Gingefringe · 30/03/2011 21:03

Agree with Quasimojo.
I cancelled my gym membership to Fitness First recently mainly because I was sick of being bombarded with videos of misogynistic pimps/girls in bikinis spreading their legs etc whilst I was trying to have a quite run on the treadmill.

Whilst I acknowledge that the music world is changing I really despair for the young who are impressed by these images and think that's the way to act. Terrible role models for boys and girls IMO.

Good on you OP for asking ladygaga to be turned off.

CheerfulYank · 30/03/2011 21:04

"I think more people should do it and then maybe sex wouldnt be everywhere.
Sex is great. Young women selling themselves as if they have nothing to offer but their sex is not. Doing it for children to see is also Not Ok."

Spot on deVere !

I can't believe anyone thinks YABU, in my book you were absolutely right to do what you did, and I'd do the same in your shoes. It is not over the top at all, and I'm no prude. I actually really like Lady Gaga's music, but no way in hell is my DS (he's almost 4) watching the videos. He's a child .

I like sex as much as, maybe more :o, than the next person, but I'm an adult.

Bramshott · 30/03/2011 21:08

"you might want to ban films, t.v, magazines, billboard advertising, music, any discussion regarding clothing ... actually the amish might be the solution - safe not sorry eh!"

Fresh - my DDs watch films and tv, listen to music, and use the internet at age-appropriate levels. I am far from a prude and am very happy to talk about sex (note sex, not explotation for profit or fame) with them at home. Of course as they turn into teenagers, I'm sure they'll watch music videos. But I'm sure as hell going to resist that for as long as I can, as I think that most music videos these days are just misogynistic soft-porn crap, and I'll be telling my DDs as much.

rainbowinthesky · 30/03/2011 21:09

Yanbu. I would have done the same and taken it as a fantastic example to my ds 15 about speaking up about something. He wouldnt have been embarrassed as he knows himself it isnt appropriate for a young child (a year ago he would have died).

MaisyMooCow · 30/03/2011 21:15

It's all well and good saying ' sex is all around, get used to it' but the reason it is, is because no one speaks up so the media etc continue to push the boundries.

OP, YANBU, well done you! :)