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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask would you be disappointed if you didn't get a card/ present for motherday

259 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 28/03/2011 22:21

more of a discussion really.

over the school this seems like a hot topic, and some mums expect alot from there OH to deliver cards and presents.

as long as i get a card i really don't care

OP posts:
jugglingjo · 29/03/2011 20:10

It might be though, Libby ? Could be a great day SmileBrew

libbyssister · 29/03/2011 20:18

You're right, juggling, maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised :)

Three small children have sapped my optimism today...

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches · 29/03/2011 20:38

LOL! Oh yes, numbertaker, dh's tea is on the table every night and I wait at the door with his pipe and slippers. I certainly can't think for myself....
Oh and me, dh and dc all tell each other we love each other several times a day but it's not so much telling me they love me (I know that) but showing they appreciate all the mundane, crappy stuff I do for them all the time.
It's obvious you can't understand where I'm coming from so we'll have to agree to differ.
I shall thoroughly enjoy being spoilt and my dc will love doing the spoiling so I'm happy.

TheNumberTaker · 29/03/2011 20:40

No, I do not do anything for my mother on Mother's Day. It means nothing vis a vis our relationship.

My husband always does something for his mum, and as I love them both a lot and this means something significant between them, I'll make an effort for her (and him). I made a card today with DD's assistance for him to send, MIL likes homemade things from the gcs. I'll pick out a gift to give her when we see her next month.

TeaOneSugar · 29/03/2011 20:43

I managed to get a non sloppy card for my mother quite easily this year, which was great. Why do card makers assume every Mother is wonderful?

I'm being taken out for lunch by dd and dh, most of dh's side of the family will be there. I'm taking my mother out for coffee in the morning with dd.

Hopefully there will be a cup of tea in bed and a nice card.

springydaffs · 29/03/2011 20:48

I find it hard to find a card for my mum too - that is, with the right wording. But that's because I'd like to go completely overboard with the sloppiest card I can find, but she hates that stuff and I have to keep it low key.

If I don't get a card from my dc's I will be upset and disappointed. They have been v v v v v v (6) horrible for the past few years but remembering me on mother's day will go some way to easing the hurt!

AletheaFlorence · 29/03/2011 20:48

A card would be nice , it's my first year as the Mum, yay!

rockinhippy · 29/03/2011 20:56

Yes definitely,

I will get a lovely home made card from DD :) ....though she's taken to making me earrings lately ...& insisting I wear them & gets very upset if I don't wear them long enoughShock

& expect Chocolates from DHGrin

though I couldn't give a flying one over Valentines day, Wedding Anniversary or anything else, so I think DH has got it pretty easy really Grin - though that said he's really good with things like that - its ME whos rubbishBlush

emmanumber3 · 29/03/2011 20:58

I don't particularly want or expect anything more than a hug & for the DC's to say "Happy Mothers Day". DS1 is 13 & autistic and always feels like he has to get me something just because all the tat exists in the shops. Therefore, the only reason I hope DH takes the DC's shopping is because DS1 will be distressed if it gets to the day and he hasn't bought anything Sad.

Also, it's DS2's 10th Birthday on the same day this year, which is far more important IMO. Smile

edwardcullensotherwoman · 29/03/2011 20:59

I'd like a card, and maybe some flowers (I've had both every year since I was pg) soppy I know, but it's nice.

Also, I don't understand the attitude of DH's (and some MNes tbh) that you're not his mum. WHile this is true, you are the mother of his children, no? (Well, not in all circumstances, but you get what I mean in my sweeping generalisation ) So why should he not appreciate the care and love you give your children? Likewise on Fathers' Day for him. DH and I are basically showing our appreciation for each other being such loving and supporting parents.

Phew, that was really soppy, second one of the day! what is wrong with me??

thecoffeelady · 29/03/2011 21:07

I will be getting a card, most likely one made by DD1 at nursery and we are spending the day at Brands Hatch for the opening rounds of the BTCC - best way to spend any Sunday let alone mothers day!

FrozenNorthPole · 29/03/2011 21:24

DH is away with the army for mothering Sunday. As he was for my birthday, Valentine's day, dd2's first birthday, the death of my grandad and my aunt and both funerals (all in the last 7 weeks). So no, I don't expect anything from him - and I've learned not to care.

On the bright side, DD1 made a nice card at nursery, which made me cry in front of her key worker. Lovely!

Happylander · 29/03/2011 21:30

I thought it wouldn't bother me. However, having received a card through the post this morning addressed to mummy, posted from my DH in Afghan which made me smile so much I think it would have bothered me if I hadn't got one. Although normally think it's a load of marketing twaddle. Always get my mum one though Grin

Happylander · 29/03/2011 21:32

FrozenNorthPole I am sorry your DH has missed so much and not been their to support you. That must have been hard for you. I hope your DD's make you smile on mothers day.

goodbyemrschips · 29/03/2011 21:39

It is good marketing I agree.

Do all the people that dont bother do the old Christmas thing then or does that just pass by?

SpeedyGonzalez · 29/03/2011 22:14

I've given up on hoping for a surprise on Mother's Day/ birthdays/ Xmas and then being disappointed. I now adopt the 'ask and you don't get' approach; so I've already instructed DH that we shall be doing something nice as a family, rather than going out with friends, as he wanted.

Mother's Day was originally invented for genuine, not commercial reasons, but has since been hijacked by any seller who can. Doesn't bother me, as I always get made cards, which are far lovelier.

exhausted2011 · 29/03/2011 22:21

this is my 4th mother's day, and DH will be away, as he has been for2 others.
fortunately I know DS is doing something at nursery

JenAT · 29/03/2011 22:27

I might be getting a new born baby. Due date on mon 4th, so a baby on mothers day would be quite nice. Beat that!

vmcd28 · 29/03/2011 22:36

I'd be furious if it wasn't acknowledged in some way, eg a card with a lovely message in it. I don't want a lot spent - there's no need - but I'd be really offended if it wasn't even mentioned, as seems to be the case for a lot of people here. I don't care whether its a Hallmark thing or not but we get so caught up with life that it's really lovely to make people have a reason to remember that there is one person they can always rely on. Hurray for mums everywhere.

weegiemum · 29/03/2011 22:41

I hate mothers day.

When I was 12, my Mum asked for a couple of hours to herself to "sort things" in her room.

Turned out she was packing, she left (with my Dad's best friend, her lover of some 3 years) the next day.

I grin and bear it for my children, but there is nothing can take away from the fact that my mother left us the next day.

I get flowers, an Easter Egg (whcih I choke down) and hand made cards. I give the kids Easter eggs too!

I hate the day - but my children think I love it. I suppose one day I wil have to tell them the truth, but for now, they think they give me a lovely day and I don't have the heart to disillusion them in in any way!

mam · 29/03/2011 22:48

I used to do it for my mum and as the years went by sometimes I think it really mattered to her to get something other times it seems too commercial. I feel the same really. Would rather get something as and when they see something they know I would like than just get something because it's the day.

Seeing the price of cards of lovely cards I have dropped heavy hints that I would rather have a homemade card and a few packets of mints and no present necessary!

vmcd28 · 29/03/2011 22:51

Weegie, that's hellish, but try to enjoy it from the angle that your kids are spoiling you, rather than your mum leaving. You won't ever do that to your family, so enjoy knowing how much different you are x

blackeyeddog · 29/03/2011 22:51

Last year I got a nice card made by ds at school and two books dh got me from The Works in the high street.

Book one was called Clear the Clutter! or somesuch (how to housework guide) ans some Victorian reproduction thing probably called A Victorian Ladee. Both immediately dispatched to the loft.

COCKadoodledooo · 29/03/2011 22:53

I know I shall be getting at least one card, because I helped ds2 make it at toddlers this morning. Unfortunately he appears to have written his very first word in it - "Fattie" Shock

hellymelly · 29/03/2011 22:59

JenAt,that would be the best Mother's day present EVER !!
As to me,I would be erm...more than slightly annoyed if I didn't get anything.Not with the DDs,with DH,as they are too small to organise anything without help.I like to have a nice family day doing something that makes the girls happy without driving us too nuts.Usually DH buys me something and the girls choose something themselves which he pays for (they are only 6 and 3).