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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask would you be disappointed if you didn't get a card/ present for motherday

259 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 28/03/2011 22:21

more of a discussion really.

over the school this seems like a hot topic, and some mums expect alot from there OH to deliver cards and presents.

as long as i get a card i really don't care

OP posts:
asdx2 · 29/03/2011 14:57

My lot all buy me cards and presents Grin Dh will take dd 8 shopping so that she can choose something herself (or for herself seeing as she usually chooses a teddy) Dh will order flowers from ds 16 (autism so not able to choose for himself) and the oldest three will buy books, cds and slippers.
I'd be upset if I didn't get a card and a hug but the presents are just extras.

mylovelymonster · 29/03/2011 14:57

My expectations - that no-one's ill and the sun shines. That would be perfect Smile

Drizzela · 29/03/2011 14:59

asdx2 You've got that lot well trained Grin

HappyAsIAm · 29/03/2011 15:03

I'd be happy with a card. Preferably hand made. And I'd be even happier with a nice hot bath run for me with bubbles, a cup of coffee and a little bit of time to myself to relax eg DH making dinner, bathing and putting DS to bed on his own etc.

I don't want a material gift, but I know that DH will get me something from DS, even if it is a little box of chocolates.

friendlyedjit · 29/03/2011 15:05

Woul love peaceful day with no bickering between dd 2 nd 3, and perhaps the appearance of dc5 pre post mature section booked for Monday! Other than that, expect little and hopefully all will be a lovely day Don't need flowers etc

DuelingFanjo · 29/03/2011 15:16

I'm a new mum and am not expecting anything. the baby is too young and I'd be surprised if DH remembered.

doireallywant3 · 29/03/2011 15:29

last year i bought myself a card & gift (dd was 7mo) and gave them to dh to write and give to me!! this year he has been instructed to sort something out himself. i will be disappointed if he doesn't.

Hullygully · 29/03/2011 15:31

God yes. I expect at least two cups of tea, Sunday papers, breakfast made and cards and presents. Then dinner made and cleared up later and generally not having to do anything except tend to my own pleasure.

It doesn't always work out like that.

CrosswordAddict · 29/03/2011 15:36

All I ask is that everyone is fit and well and there is no bickering. The rest doesn't really matter tbh.

Fillybuster · 29/03/2011 15:40

Over-commercialised, cynical, marketing bumf. Rather like Valentines Day.

I expect tea and papers in bed, and a card would be nice if dh gets the time to make one with the dcs, but its hardly my birthday or anything. Flowers/chocolate/presents emphatically not required :) We're taking my MIL out for lunch for her birthday, anyway - possibly not my preferred mothers day activity, but hey ho Grin

jugglingjo · 29/03/2011 15:45

asdx2 - I was quite surprised to read DD8. I nearly fell off my chair at DS16 Grin Then I realised Wink Hope you all have a lovely day Brew

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches · 29/03/2011 15:50

IT IS NOT A HALLMARK HOLIDAY. Of all the holidays this one actually has real historical merit here if you are interested
I expect breakfast in bed, cards and flowers! Oh yes. I work hard being a good mother to my dc and once a year a day for them to say thanks is really great.
I do like Mrs Schnedfreud's (sp I know but too lazy to re-find her post) answer to her dh.
I also like spoiling my mum and MIL - more than ever now we have our own dc, DH and I appreciate what they have done for us.
I'm shocked by the low expectations of so many. There are alot of dh and dc who could do with a kick up the arse about appreciating the role of a mother.

kansasmum · 29/03/2011 15:53

A lie in and someone else to cook AND clean up dinner plus a card would suffice. My eldest 2 are teenagers and do buy me a card/present by themselves but my little boy is only 4 so dh will have to help him- DH is CRAP at card/presents from DS- I don't get a birthday card from DS- he just gets added on the end of dh's card which if I am really honest upsets me. I make an effort for dh on Father's day and his Birthday so would be nice if he made a bit of an effort.

We are away this Mother's day and I am booked into the Spa for the morning - but of course had to book it myself!!!

I will organise cards and flowers for my mum and my mum -in -law cos if its left to dh she will get nothing!

kansasmum · 29/03/2011 15:55

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches

I agree with you!

scaryteacher · 29/03/2011 15:55

To avoid disappointment I organise my own present, then I get what I want!

HecateTheCrone · 29/03/2011 16:02

Ta for the link, PNW. So, basically, its root has got bog all to do with actual mothers at all? It's a church thing? and became a day for families to get together - servants day off - and then people decided to change it from a religious thing into a day to celebrate mothers?

sort of like how christmas used to be about the birth of christ and is now about families getting together and getting lots of presents?

I'm sensing a theme here Grin

Knackeredmother · 29/03/2011 16:03

Would lOve a homemade card and a bunch of daffodils chosen by dcs. My brother gets his wife expensive spa days and their kids are teenagers with shed loads of savings/ability to get something small themselves.
Madness expecting expensive presents (as many of my friends do)

GeorgeT · 29/03/2011 16:05

Mothering Sunday is important. I always emember my Mum as it is day for thanking Mums for all they do. A small gift possibly breakfast/tea in bed and a day together. No expensive meals at restaurants or expensive flowers (The big rip off) Dad has been trained. He is working away this year and I think he has it sorted.... we will see.

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches · 29/03/2011 16:08

YY Hecate - it is a bit but it did start as a celebration of the mother goddess so it was always about mothers.

Basically it's nothing to do with bloody Hallmark. I suspect the women who say that are towing the party line of the men in their lives who can't be bothered to do anything....

Oh and thanks Kansasmum Smile

knitonepernilleone · 29/03/2011 16:29

It doesn't bother me in the slightest, but we don't make much of a fuss about Fathers' Day either.

A card from the children is nice but I won't be having a sulk if I don't get one Grin.

AnnVeronica · 29/03/2011 16:32

I'm Shock at the DH/Ps who say "You're not my mother". You may not be their mother but you're raising their children!

How difficult is it to organise a card, small treat, breakfast in bed, etc? Especially if your DCs are too young to do this themselves. I'm against any overspending but small gestures make you feel appreciated. :)

knitonepernilleone · 29/03/2011 16:41

Ah, now, I'm lucky in that I feel appreciated all year round. Maybe that's why is doesn't bother me.

plupedantic · 29/03/2011 16:46

I hate cards in general, and think that a letter or long proper phone call (or, maybe even a present!) is better than some overpriced piece of recycling which isn't personal in any way.

Greenshadow · 29/03/2011 17:07

Not in the least bothered about flowers, but DH has usually organised some chocolates from the DC.

Now they are older and go in to town by themselves, it's nice to get a very little something chosen by them personally - last year DS3 who was 11 and at that age when they first venture in to town with friends, bought some fabric flowers from the 99p shop ! Were actually quite nice (as these things go) and I still have them.

Figgyrolls · 29/03/2011 17:11

I am not worried about a present but I would quite like a card having had another dc since last year! However I think dh will remember - he gave me a card from the children on valentines so perhaps mothers day isn't beyond the realms of possibility. Of course I have already sent him a reminder via email at work that it is happening this weekend Wink just to be sure.