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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask would you be disappointed if you didn't get a card/ present for motherday

259 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 28/03/2011 22:21

more of a discussion really.

over the school this seems like a hot topic, and some mums expect alot from there OH to deliver cards and presents.

as long as i get a card i really don't care

OP posts:
FionaJT · 29/03/2011 17:17

I'm a single parent, dd is 6 so I get whatever school/nursery arrange, and that is fine. However for my first mothers day when dd was 3 months my mum sorted something on her behalf, which was very sweet as my family usually don't go in for more than the bare minimum of card/present buying.

TheNumberTaker · 29/03/2011 17:33

*PureNewWool" it was me that said it was a Hallmark holiday and I stand by that. "Hallmarkisation" in the sense of utterly cynical, divisive and an excuse for pointless consumption, and recriminations if you don't buy into it. Just like Valentines Day and the bastardisation of Christmas and Easter. Just like weddings. I also added a later post about the original meaning of "Mothering Sunday" and "Mother's Day", the former having nothing to do with mothers, but returning to your parish, and the latter being a relatively American import, as mentioned by someone else.

And FYI, I have a mind of my own, I don't need my views to be fed to me by my DH, thanks. He, in fact, loves all of this bollocks. It's taken me 6 years to persuade him to stop buying me valentines rubbish. He will not countenance low key birthdays. I know I will get woken up from my lie in with breakfast in bed, card and flowers on Sunday. It's his way. However, he'd do that sort of stuff any time of the year too (and does frequently) just because he's a nice person and doesn't need "special days" to show his appreciation. If my children, when they're old enough, don't want to do Mothers' Day, that's their call. IMO, expecting this type of empty gesture from your children/husband is emotional blackmail.

TheNumberTaker · 29/03/2011 17:35

relatively recent American import

MaureenMLove · 29/03/2011 17:38

DD (15) has just 'fessed up' about the card she'd bought me. 'It was lovely', she said, 'had glitter on it, all sparkly, girlie and pink. Trouble is, when I got it home and looked at it again, it says, 'from your little boy!''

What a plank!

Looks like DH doesn't have to bother going out for one for his mum now! Grin

CornishTwinMoominMamma · 29/03/2011 17:39

A card, a kiss, a cuddle and 'Happy Mother's Day' will do for me. Anything extra is lovely but I don't expect it.

feralgirl · 29/03/2011 17:50

DS and I will make cards for Granny and Nanny. Whether or not anyone remembers to do the same with him for me is a different matter entirely! As a family we don't really bother but this year it falls on my mum's birthday so we're all going out for the day, my MiL as well.

Traditionally I buy my mum some liquorice allsorts in order to get one-up on my brother who never gets her anything Grin

I am off sick atm so if DH brings me something nice for breakfast on Sunday then I'll be extra-specially happy.

Chaotica · 29/03/2011 17:55

I expect nothing. I find it mildly offensive (that's a personal view, you understand).

But if anyone forgets my birthday on the same day, I'll be fuming.

Anythingwithagiraffeonit · 29/03/2011 18:02

It's my first one and I think I'll cry if I don't get the 'mummy' card I've been so looking forward to!

I also want a pink hood for my bugaboo... So I've asked for it for mothers day ;) I won't cry if I don't get that though!

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 29/03/2011 18:38

i have been reading bits of this thread out to DH, esp the origins and roots of mothering sunday, pretending its simply cos its interesting (it IS, thanks for those links) but ALSO to make sure its sunk in it is this weekend!! DS is 4 and might make something at nursery, but i would love a homemade card and maybe a small homemade something from him to keep so have now primed DH!

CrystalStair · 29/03/2011 18:45

Of course I would be disappointed. Like it when they make them themselves. But I have a feeling DH has plans up his sleeve too - he and DD1 are plotting things...I always did stuff for my mum. Why wouldn't you?

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches · 29/03/2011 18:47

LOL! Touchy much Numbertaker? Sounds like you don't care about it because you are spoiled so often it's nothing special. For those of us (99.9% of the population) who aren't spoilt all year then it's nice to be spoiled on at least one day a year.

As for "IMO, expecting this type of empty gesture from your children/husband is emotional blackmail." How sad that your find your children and husband's gestures empty. I know mine will be very much heartfelt.

Re. it's roots see post from: ThisFeelsWeird Tue 29-Mar-11 13:42:21

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches · 29/03/2011 18:48

its roots not it's roots

CrystalStair · 29/03/2011 18:49

Agree with PureNWWPS - it is heartfelt from my kids and DH. It ws from me to my mum. Calling it emotional blackmail is quite odd.

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/03/2011 18:52

I don't care about Mother's day one bit. My husband and children are my most precious gift and it is enough. I'd rather go out and have a nice day when things aren't twice the price too.

CrystalStair · 29/03/2011 18:53

No need to go out though.

BrokenRing · 29/03/2011 19:00

I would hope to get a card, and usually I get little presents - chocolates or something. I always buy my mother a card and a gift and if possible, invite her and my father for Sunday lunch. Usually I help DP buy the right card for his mum and help work out a present for her too.

I always buy cards with Mothering Sunday on it as that's the origin of it all. It sounds a lot nicer than Mothers Day.

DilysPrice · 29/03/2011 19:03

You know what? I don't care how heart-felt and authentic my lie in and Brew are, they can be as guilt-tripped as you like as long as I get them.

jugglingjo · 29/03/2011 19:46

LOL at DilysPrice Grin
Those posts are why I love MN !

TheNumberTaker · 29/03/2011 19:50

Ah well, PureNewWool, I am touchy about being accused of not having my own views, as I'm not living in the 1950s or subjugated by the men in my life. Is it like that for you, then?

As for gestures. My DD picks me daisies or fallen leaves and makes little bouquets with them for me. She runs out of every pre-school session with some artwork she's done with a, "Look what I've done for you, Mummy!" She climbs onto my lap and tells me she loves me every day. DH buys me books he's read about in the papers he thinks I'll like. He does the early shift with the baby 6 mornings a week to give me a break. He sends me emails every now and then telling me how he feels about the kids and me. I could cite a hundred other things that mean more to me than a card on a prescribed day in the year.

pointydog · 29/03/2011 19:51

I expect a card and breakfast in bed. I'd be mighty disappointed if I didn't get them.

jugglingjo · 29/03/2011 19:54

Does sound like you are one of the lucky ones though, NumberTaker.

Mother's Day, if it's for anyone, is most for those who aren't thought of enough during the rest of the year.

(As well as the card manufacturers of course Grin )

goodbyemrschips · 29/03/2011 19:55

I expect stuff and a good day.

To those that don't care are you expecting nothing and therefore a tiny bit jealous.lol

goodbyemrschips · 29/03/2011 19:57

NUMBER TAKER......I get all that too....but mums day is well mums day.

Do you do anything for your mum past or present or do you just ignore it.

cruelladepoppins · 29/03/2011 19:59

The DCs usually make something nice at school - I will be happy with anything. I kindof wish DH would get me a card but he never does - his family don't celebrate it, never have done. We usually go out as a family on Mother's Day, organised by me, grrr.

This year we will be concentrating on my mum on Mother's Day, as my dad died very recently. We are going to stay the weekend with her and take her out for a curry.

libbyssister · 29/03/2011 20:05

It's my birthday on Sunday too so my expectations are high. I think the Mother's Day thing will be swept aside by my lavish birthday celebrations (ha ha). Kinda peeved that it's all rolled into one and doubt that it will be doubly special.