Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hope my sister is about to learn a really hard lesson?

223 replies

Sistertrouble · 26/03/2011 13:34

where do I start.

Dsis was on her very last chance with her landlord and I think she has just blown it.
She rents the house she lives in but the council pay her rent and council tax.
Lets say my sister is not the cleanest person in the world, well her house is an absolute pigs sty, its dirty smelly, even flys have moved in.
The house has no order in it at all, clean and dirty clothes mixed together spread all over the house, kitchen draws hanging off, holes in the walls and doors,
Just a complete mess.
My parents and I are always bailing her out doing a deep clean, fixing things ect before her landlord does a check, but it never lasts, a few days later it's back to the way it was.
Her poor dcs have to live in that, they go to school in dirty clothes, they wear the same socks all week, their feet really smell, god knows why the school haven't said anything they must of noticed.
The beds never have any covers or pillow cases on, their bedrooms carpets all ripped up, the dcs have no boundaries and never told off when they're naught, my sister has no control at all.
I could go on and on but I won't bore you with it all, yesterday her landlord turned up out of the blue and of course the place was a tip, she came because neighbours made a complant about the state of the garden, the gate blew off, well so she says, but i know the kids climb up and down it.
The landlord has said she will be doing weekly checks from now on, she is going back next week.
The icing on the cake is her oh lives there and he works full time while she us claiming to be a single parent, the landlord knows this as she has been told by neighbors and has said she is going to tell the council what she knows.

Sorry this is long but aibu to hope he gets caught living there and landlord gives her notice for her to move out?

OP posts:
coccyx · 26/03/2011 13:36

they have made their bed...........so they must take the consequences

Sistertrouble · 26/03/2011 13:37

Sorry for typos, on my phone Blush

OP posts:
TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 26/03/2011 13:37

and then what will happen to her children?

I understand what you are saying but it sounds like she needs help

Fernie3 · 26/03/2011 13:39

Sounds like she has big problems, does she WANT to improve things?

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 26/03/2011 13:39

Does she recognise that she could do things better?

Sistertrouble · 26/03/2011 13:41

Our mum has said she would take the dcs if it came to it,
The family have helped her so much, I've been so close to ringing ss hoping they would give her the kick ip the arse she needs, I worry what could happen to the dcs if I did.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 26/03/2011 13:43

So are ss involved with the children?

They are being neglected.

Sistertrouble · 26/03/2011 13:43

She knows she could do better, she says time and time again things will change but they never do.

OP posts:
BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 26/03/2011 13:44

But does she say she wants to change? If so, then maybe she just doesn't have the required life skills to raise a family and run a home.

GKlimt · 26/03/2011 13:46

Is she depressed?

Sistertrouble · 26/03/2011 13:47

No not involved with ss.
I agree with you about the neglect, the live on junk food and takeways, her nearly 4 year old starts school in sept, she is still in nappies, can hardly talk, I've said to my Sis her dd might need help but she seems to think she's fine.

OP posts:
Sistertrouble · 26/03/2011 13:49

I have always thought she has pnd after her youngest was born but she says she's not.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 26/03/2011 13:50

Tbh if the neglect is as bad as you describe then I am disgusted ss have not been informed.

By all means sit back and judge your sister but you have been complicit in the neglect of these children.

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 26/03/2011 13:52

ENormaSnob does have a point, although I fail to see what SS can do, other than take the DC into care.

Goblinchild · 26/03/2011 13:52

Why is her OH letting this happen? Are the children his, or does he just not care either?

Honeybee79 · 26/03/2011 13:58

God, how awful for her children. SS really should be involved regardless of what's causing your sis's behaviour. The bottom line is that what you describe is neglect. Why have family not intervened when the children are living like this?

Sounds like this family needs help.

Sistertrouble · 26/03/2011 14:00

They're his children, no he doesn't seem to give a shit either, I don't think they can see how bad it is.
What can ss do to help? I will contact them if they could help her, and will be a good thing rather then bad iykwim,

OP posts:
GKlimt · 26/03/2011 14:00

Not sure of the ages of the children from reading this. Is the youngest the 4 yr old? So possibly 'depressed' for 4 years.

Hasn't the HV raised concerns? Or the school-aged child/ren's school?

DooinMeCleanin · 26/03/2011 14:02

Why haven't you called SS if it is as bad as you say? And why are you judging your own sister instead of trying to support her. No-one wants to live like this your sister needs support and more than likely medical help for depression.

FabbyChic · 26/03/2011 14:04

Your sister is going to get done for benefit fraud, as soon as the council are notified, they will tell the benefits agency.

Her rent will cease to be paid, she will have to pay council tax and have no income of her own.

Unless she moves her OH out that is.

MitchiestInge · 26/03/2011 14:05

yabu to think it is a lesson only your sister needs to learn, I agree it sounds like the whole family needs help not just your sister

we live in barely mitigated chaos and have had help from social services but it might be better if she actively seeks it out than for someone to make an anonymous call

BabyDubsEverywhere · 26/03/2011 14:09

It sounds like those poor kids would be better off in care tbh, that would be a 'good' thing if their shitty live of current is the other option!

Sistertrouble · 26/03/2011 14:11

I have tried to help many times, she never listens always goes back to the way she was, she just don't seem to care, she doesn't want help, god we have tried, her youngest has just turned two, she won't see hv, hasn't done since her 2 yr old was tiny, her other dcs are 7 and 6, the 7yr old is starting to misbehave at school so hopefully will notice something is wrong soon.

OP posts:
BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 26/03/2011 14:14

"It sounds like those poor kids would be better off in care tbh, that would be a 'good' thing if their shitty live of current is the other option!"

Do you actually know what 'care' is like?

TheCrackFox · 26/03/2011 14:16

TBH it might be a good thing if SS did get involved. They really, really don't like taking children from their parents (expensive and no where to put them) but IME it can be the kick up the arse/support that some parents need.

Swipe left for the next trending thread