to keep DS off school until they can look after him properly??

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I am so upset and so angry. DS has soiling problems - waiting for paed. app. afte fruitless GP visits/diet changes. Have had threads in the past (me being called to take DS home, all the time he is sitting on a paper towel in his own shit) and today was the sae. Although, today was "so bad we had to change him" (!??!) but he came home socks covered in shit, dry shit down his les and shorts on so they could definatly see it all! THey had half heartedly changed him thenshoved clean shorts on him and made him wait for me like that. And he missed the last hour or so of school - again. I have talked and talked to them - they said they would remind and "make" him go after lunch (the only luck I have is getting him to try and sometimes we time it right - other than that he has little/no sense of going) - DS tells me they haven't. He jumped was soaked with poo , hands dirty & stunk of poo.... They just handed him over and told me to "gee him up" with toileting.

I can't snd him back, I just can't - my heart breaks when I seeing him sitting on him own in his own poo patiently waiting for me :(

My DS had terrible constipation and his first school were just as helpful as the OPs. I only lived round the corner from the school and asked them to call me if he needed changing and was told "I have 29 other children to look after so can't call you" and he once again sat in his own poo. Other times they said they asked hilm if he wanted to change and he said no so they left him in soiled pants etc.

In the end I moved his school who were aware of his problem and wanted to help and funnily enough he stopped having accidents after a few months.

If the school is crap on this issue, I would question their pastoral care and would push for a transfer to a school aware of your DSs problem and who are willing to work with you.

Good luck!

Sorry about my rant! Not particularly helpful

Teachers are 'allowed' to assist children in the toilet - it's just that their Union body chooses to advise them not to. This advice stems from the very old-fashioned view that toilet training starts at 18 months..... thus any child who isn't fully independant by 4 has a discipline problem. Schools haven't really moved forward with modern parenting!

Every school should have an Intimate Care Policy, outlining the guidelines of the care teachers will provide when a child soils themselves. The policy should state that Reception/Year1 children may still be in the early stages of toilet training and thus will still require assistance.

Any school/nursery/playgroup that leaves a child covered in their own faeces is in serious breach of a child's human rights. School governers, the LEA and OFSTED should be informed.

All the paranoia and paedophilia hysteria, no touching and enhanced CRB checking has kicked off since I started teachinh Highlander.
Hardly old-fashioned, us antiques are often heard lamenting 'Back in the old days, this wouldn't have been an issue' which in this case is true.
Back in 1984 when I was a probationer, we did all sorts of things without fear of the consequences. Including changing soiled children on our own.

I haven't read the whole thread, but wanted to say your poor ds.

If it were me and one of my ds, I would be looking at moving him to another school, as any school that is happy to leave a child in that state, is not one I would trust with my child's care day in day out.

I do understand that teachers have their hands full and can't leave a class to clean up a child, but surely there must be someone available to help in these situations, which are a fairly regular occurrence in a lot of Reception classes.

Diagnosis has absolutely nothing to do with it, its basic care that's the issue, along with consideration of respect and self-esteem for your ds. If a diagnosis and treatment plan is forthcoming thats all to the good obviously, but as you quite rightly state, this situation cannot be allowed to continue in the meantime.

How far have you gone with regards to your complaint? To get something done, you would most likely need to complain in writing, to the teacher first and formost, then her line manager (Head of Year or Head of Infants depending on the school) then the Head of the School and if still nothing is done your complaint should be escalated to the Governors and then the LEA.

In the first instance, I would write formally to the teacher, detailing exactly what the issue is and asking for a written response and plan of action. If it were me, I wouldn't wait to take it any further throught the complaints process, I would write again, to the Head, stating that you are taking him out of school to homeschool until a more suitable placement can be found a different school.