to ask you to add to this thread...

[Valpollicella]

...and possibly complete the first ever MN romantic novel (Mills & Boon style)..

Rose-Marie looked down at her oil covered overalls and considered her aching muscles. She had spent all afternoon working on the old Merc for the local landowner and still hadn't managed to get to the bottom of the problem.

She slumped down at the small bench and greedily unwrapped her ham sandwiches....

"Get down and give me forty soldier"barked Rose-Marie,(she had coughed once more into her hands and so lost her butter-milk tones). She was starting to enjoy this new found assertion.
And when youve finished, return to your barracks-Ive something urgent that requires your attention....

...I haven't filled in my census yet, and I'm finding it confusing what with all these overnight guests and all....

colin looked confused when faced with rose-marie's census form - there's no overnight guests here are there? as he hoped he was the only one ....

Exhausted, Colin whimpered he couldnt possibly do 90 press-ups and help complete her Census!(She had got power mad and forgotten she had already asked for 50 earlier!!!)
"Man Up Soldier" she screeched in his face, then confused him, by licking her lips, and stroking his manhood playfully....

She noticed his puzzled countenance, "I was talking to your manhood" she explained, "It had wilted slightly"

At this point, Gina, the buxom wench from the dairy farm, who had been away for a while under some kind of much whispered about unsavoury circumstances, arrived, and with hands on ample hips and bosom spilling out of her ridiculously low cut top, announced...

...There you are you c-t! Im up the duff and its yours! Wot...did you fink I wouldnt find you,you c-t!!
You lying Biatch, screeched Rose-Marie. You f-g lying SLAG!!
Colin didnt know who he was more shocked at-Ginas news or Rose-Maries foul mouth.(Though secretly he liked a woman who talked dirty. He remembered his mothers death-bed words of wisdom-get yourself a whore in the kitchen and an angel in the bedroom-this possibly accounted for his expertise in cooking!!!)....

...the next words they all heard whilst in a room together were "who called the show?" which was followed by....

...another probing question/accusation..."Why didnt you put something on the end of it?"
Colin, who had always fancied himself as abit of a lad, smirked, and said,"I did, Jezza-Gina and Rose-Marie!!
Apoleptic with rage, JK started jumping up and down and began his usual tirade of "this is wot is wrong with..."
Colin,Gina and Rose-Marie were not listening-they were frockiling in the Green Room with Graeme, who was showing them some dodgy after-show Care!!!...

Colin jumped onto the carriage and pulled Gina and Rose-Marie through the carriage door. Im a man he shouted I need a lots of attention with that he shut the door on the girls - they were now his. He grabbed the reins and they took off .... into the sunset for lots of....

Therapy for his bareback sex addiction.

The End?

. Hurrah.

Bloody bloody marvelous.

Round of applause and a standing ovation.

That was fun! Thanks

I wonder if Jamie O would have been impressed with his mention in this book? ... And did anyone want to go out and buy a marrow?..

Awww. I come back, and its all finished!
Twas fun indeed! Is there going to be a sequel, or perhaps a new, different Story??
Anyone know a good publisher?

"Rose - Marie Rides Again"?

sorry jamie

A call on her answerphone said...we would like to make you a film offer

Very nearly had a toddler-type accident reading the end of this thread - bloody marvellous, we should definitely do it again some time.