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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ask you to add to this thread...

220 replies

Valpollicella · 13/03/2011 23:18

...and possibly complete the first ever MN romantic novel (Mills & Boon style)..

Rose-Marie looked down at her oil covered overalls and considered her aching muscles. She had spent all afternoon working on the old Merc for the local landowner and still hadn't managed to get to the bottom of the problem.

She slumped down at the small bench and greedily unwrapped her ham sandwiches....

OP posts:
AtYourCervix · 15/03/2011 20:50

bognor?

TandB · 15/03/2011 20:51

"Vegas!"

Bigpants1 · 15/03/2011 20:54

The words rushed from her lips,(ffs NOT those lips-wot are you lot like),daddy, please dont be disappointed,but I cannot be the woman of virtue that you want me to be...

AtYourCervix · 15/03/2011 20:55

sugested nico, returning with a bulging bag from waitrose.

Rosie blushed demurely, ashamed her conversation was overheard.

'goodbye father' she said firmly and hung up, undressing nico with her eyes as she rose from the tub.

QuickLookBusy · 15/03/2011 20:59

She couldn't stand the thought of yet more sex, for half an hour at least, she decided to put Nico to work with some other duties until she required attention.

(who's Nico by the way?]

AtYourCervix · 15/03/2011 21:02

nico, the philipina houseboy, reutned to his chores while rosie decided what to wear to the funeral later.

Bigpants1 · 15/03/2011 21:06

Damn, the phone interrupted her thoughts once more.
Rose-Marie...it was her father once more... his voice sounded urgent. I know all about your mother and Ronnie Corbet. All I want is the best for you. Live your life as you must, just promise me one thing....
Anything father, replied Rosie, crossing her fingers behind her back...
Just stay away from curly-wurlys...

pointythings · 15/03/2011 21:09

Unfortunately, Rose-Marie's biggest weakness was curly-wurlies. She had them for breakfast (with milk), for lunch (in bread) and for dinner (deep-fried). This was a promise she could not keep - and yet, how could she break her father's fragile heart? She had to make the choice...

AtYourCervix · 15/03/2011 21:11

funeral'

curly had been a treasured gardener rosie had employed. he had come to an untimely end amongst the goosberry bushes last thursday.

puzzled rosie strode purposefully towards her walk in wardrobe and threw back the door revealing...

Bigpants1 · 15/03/2011 21:19

Nico, dressed in her stockings and high heels. He blushed madly, whilst Rosie slammed the wardrobe door shut.
Perhaps if she waited for a minute,the terrible image would be gone.
She soothed herself with a culy-wurly, and ate the rest when she had finished.
Back to the wardrobe she thought...

pointythings · 15/03/2011 21:20

Gok Wan.

He strode out of the wardrobe, turned round and surveyed the contents.

"Well, darling," he said. "It looks like we have a bit of work to do here, don't we?"

QuickLookBusy · 15/03/2011 21:20

Colin!

I couldn't stay away Rosie. Last night was the best of my life. Please run away with me. Let me take you...

QuickLookBusy · 15/03/2011 21:21

Oh yes Gok is better [though I'd rather have Colin in my wardrobe}

AtYourCervix · 15/03/2011 21:24

licking the remains of the curly wirly from her lips.....

pointythings · 15/03/2011 21:33

Rose-Marie grabbed Gok by one arm and dragged him over to her bed.
"Only you can save me!" she sobbed. "What am I doing wrong? All the men in my life run away, or end up wearing my underwear. Is it the Spanx putting them off? Are men really scared of mooncups? Or am I just ugly with or without my clothes on?"

AtYourCervix · 15/03/2011 21:37

'ah girlfriend' gok began, .....

QuickLookBusy · 15/03/2011 21:40

Let me have a good old feel of those humungus bosums...I can tell so much from a good old rummage..

pointythings · 15/03/2011 21:45

Gok ran his hands all over Rose-Marie's body. She felt a tingle where no tingles ought to be after the night she'd just had. Gok sighed.
"Girl, I don't know what's with all these men running out on you." he said. "You could almost - almost get me to bat for the other side, I swear. Let's see what we can do to make these bozos realise what they're missing..."

QuickLookBusy · 15/03/2011 21:47

Just I suspected, they are awesome he muttered, his eyes glazing over.

When he had recovered,Gok asked her if she had a few things he needed to whip up an outfit..

He provided Rosie with a list....

AtYourCervix · 15/03/2011 21:48

within a few short minutes Rosie foud herself wearing boden's finest, ready for the funeral. still tingling she climbed into her red audi anddrove,too fast as always, towards her destiny.

QuickLookBusy · 15/03/2011 21:51

She had Gok's list in her handbag, she must remember to make a special trip to Ann Summers after the funeral...

MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny · 15/03/2011 21:56

Looking her most alluring, she entered the church as if gliding. She was aware of several heads turning but was curious to see the Vicars knees buckle, as he steadied himself on the lectern..

He looked as if he had seen a ghost.

Catnao · 15/03/2011 22:06

which he HAD, as Rose - Marie was the absolute spitting image of...

Numberfour · 15/03/2011 22:08

His late wife's half brother. The one whom he had had a crush on for years. Feelings of lust welled up in his loins...

WhipMeIndiana · 15/03/2011 22:10

...and rapidly, he shoed the congregation out of the door. They were struck dumb by his rudeness, but complied, secretly glad to be in the warm sunshine.

'Now, my sweet Rose-marie' said the vicar, licking his lips...