to ask you to add to this thread...

[Valpollicella]

...and possibly complete the first ever MN romantic novel (Mills & Boon style)..

Rose-Marie looked down at her oil covered overalls and considered her aching muscles. She had spent all afternoon working on the old Merc for the local landowner and still hadn't managed to get to the bottom of the problem.

She slumped down at the small bench and greedily unwrapped her ham sandwiches....

Scooping up her mooncup and grabbing Jamies marrow, she legged it from waitrose and bumped into...

'I've bought a new glass-topped coffee table from john lewis this week. would you care to come around tomorrow while Jooles is on the school run and give it a whirl?' He suggested,

said Jamies chasing after her

swap the last 2 around - that'd work better.

Bumped into....

Colin Firth

that's better, I tried to fix it but your way is better....as you were

Colin was carrying a platter piled high with golden wrapped morsels of delicious chocolate.

Rose-Marie gasped, 'Ah M'seur, with these rocher you are spoiling me'

The glass doors slid gently closed, and just in time she realised she'd left her mooncup behind, and with a swish, swirled around and snatched it before Jamie could reach it with his marrow.

She stood panting in the sunshine, hair awry, and gazed at the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

And with chocolate! An ounce of drool trickled endearingly down her cheek.

A rumble of thunder in the distnace drew her gaze to the horizon.

Purple and black clouds boiled ferociously above a landscape or patchworked fields dotted with a rash of golden haystacks........

Before she could do anything, Colin had run into the pond on the village green, run out again and returned. Shirt clinging to his once muscular torso he said: "How about a roll in the hay then, darling?"

As Colin dashed for the storm shelter Rose-Marie sighed with passionate relief. She reinserted her mooncup with a deft twist of her fingers, rolled her eyes and folowed him, removing her shart covered hold-ups and overalls as she went.

She swept through the door like a woman posessed and

remembering her marrow, and thinking what fun they could have, ran back to get it, but on the way she..

...paused, stooping to remove her shoes.

'Have you any guest slippers, Colin?' she breathed

busom heaving from her run, her breath came in small gasps.....

...and she realised she hadn't been to the gym for weeks and was fatally unfit for just about anything, probably including major passionate interludes.

I know we have only just met, breathed Colin, but I was wondering if you would be inclined to help me remove my clothes. I fear a chill if I stay in these clothes much longer...

Rose-Marie walked slowly towards him, shuddering in anticipation at removing his lovely shirt - it would look a treat with her stockings amongst the hay.

Is there hay?

Phooey,

Yes there is, but it's on the horizon. Anyway...

An ear-splitting sound filled the air. Rose-Marie turned round and found herself face to face with the local landowner, Lord Haw-Haw, on his vintage tractor. He leered at her as he chewed on his straw.
"What-ho!" he yelled over the engine noise, "What have we here, a filly getting drisky on my land? Can't have that, can we? How about a threesome then?"

Frisky, even... I think I need to get to bed. Can't wait to read the rest of this tomorrow if it's still going!

Colin visibly brightened at the sight of lord Haw-Haw's tight britches and interesting bulges.

Rose-Marie turned to Lord Haw-Haw and beckoned seductively, pouting her posh spice inspired trout pout lips and throwing her silky long hair extensions (from Claires accessories)over her shoulder.

PMSL, Cervix...

"Colin old chap!" shouted Lord Haw-Haw, "Haven't seen you since you fagged for me at Eton! What do you say you and me take old Bessie for a ride round the estate, what-ho?"

Colin jumped on the back of Lord Haw-Haw's tractor and they trundles off together into the gatehring storm. The first fat drops of rain began to fall. Rose-Marie made for the shelter.

"I really should have gone for prawns if I wanted to get saucy, shouldn't I?" she sighed to herself. Just then a warm hand fell on her shoulder, and something warm and heavy poked at the crease of her buttocks.

"Alright, my love?" Jamie asked, his tongue lolling seductively. "I've still got this marrow, you know..."

Whirling around, she slapped his marrow in sheer outrage.

'How dare you!' she spluttered. 'Get that thing away from my crease! It's not Friday!'

Jamie leered and

cracked open a bottle of merlot.