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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have felt so bad at a wedding

228 replies

FlorencesMachine · 07/03/2011 09:57

Ok, I was at a wedding this weekend, and the setting and everything was lovely. However, throughout the wedding, I couldn't help thinking about the size of the bride and it affected every speech, how I felt about the ceremony.

The bride is fair to say, not just a few pounds overweight, but massively obese, possibly morbidly so, and it was all I could think about. She seemed a nice person (I don't know her that well), but I couldn't help think "why is her marrying her?", "does he really love her?"

I know we're all different shapes and sizes, and I'm not Angelina Jolie. I know this is terribly sizeist, and I felt so guilty that her size so dominated my thoughts.

OP posts:
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 07/03/2011 09:58

Bloody hell.

nethunsreject · 07/03/2011 09:59

Fair enough to be aware of her size, but really, you wondered why he was marrying her?!

charitygirl · 07/03/2011 09:59
Biscuit

If you're a troll, this is pathetic. If you're not, you're really pathetic.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 07/03/2011 09:59

Seriously?

TheseThingsAreGoodThings · 07/03/2011 09:59

You should have just told her that fat people are not allowed to be happy and lead normal lives

ENormaSnob · 07/03/2011 10:00

Dear fucking god.

NestaFiesta · 07/03/2011 10:00

What's your point? Well done groomie for taking on a fat bird? That the bride's not really happy? For all you know she might have lost a few stone for the wedding and felt good.

Perhaps the groom loves her because she makes him happy, not because she looks incredible in a bikini.

TheseThingsAreGoodThings · 07/03/2011 10:01

"does he really love her?"

I dunno - why didn't you ask him?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/03/2011 10:01

You're going to get slammed here and you know it.

You're not unreasonable to think whatever you like. You know not to judge a book by its cover, but most of us think uncharitable thoughts at some time.

I don't notice peoples' weight so much, I can admire what somebody's wearing regardless of their size but it is often much harder to dress a very large figure and look as nice.

As long as you smiled and helped make their day special then it doesn't really matter.

Gemsy83 · 07/03/2011 10:01

OMFG for real? Maybe shes not a nasty minded little twat like you? Just a thought...

Pancakeflipper · 07/03/2011 10:02

You missed the fact she makes her new DH feel like a million dollars, more than any other woman has done - your narrow mindedness was obviously in the way

missnevermind · 07/03/2011 10:03

Ok so now you have made me laugh Hmm
So she is fat. So he really must love her if he is marrying her and she is fat.
So stop worrying about them, they must be in love, because she is fat.

weegiemum · 07/03/2011 10:03

I'm a fat bird and I'm bloody brilliant in bed, maybe that's why he married her?

For Goodness sake, people's personalities are not dictated by their weight. You come over as very shallow, and I hope they didn't pick up on it in any way!

MamaLazarou · 07/03/2011 10:04

YABU

Original poster
FlorencesMachine · 07/03/2011 10:05

I'm not a troll, and I knew this wouldn't be popular, but I'm anonymous here, and this is how I felt.

I don't suppose I'm the only person who would think like this, and I feel really bad about.

OP posts:
iskra · 07/03/2011 10:05
Biscuit

Have a few of these to throw at her while you are at it.

woopsidaisy · 07/03/2011 10:07

Relation of mine married a girl who would be described as fat recently. She is so pretty-beautiful in fact! Looked amazing,and the way my relation talked about her in the speech...sniff!
They are crazy about each other!
OP,you have ishoos!

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 07/03/2011 10:08

Maybe she's a kind and good person ?

Maybe he likes her ?

Maybe he loves her ?

Maybe she can make her nipples dance like the eyebrows on the cadburys advert ?

Maybe it's none of your business ?

nethunsreject · 07/03/2011 10:08

Look, I can relate to thinking 'she's a big girl', but I would never think that would make a person less lovable!

Original poster
FlorencesMachine · 07/03/2011 10:09

If the bride had been fat, I don't think I'd have have had a problem, but she wasn't fat.

OP posts:
YouLittlePiggy · 07/03/2011 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TotemPole · 07/03/2011 10:11

Eh??

Hullygully · 07/03/2011 10:11

I think the thought might glide gently across most people's minds if they were honest - but they wouldn't say it out loud...

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/03/2011 10:11

Oh come on... Are the other posters here really saying that they never think unkind thoughts about what other women are wearing? I really don't believe that for a minute.

Noticing someone's size isn't being sizeist. I agree that OP's question about whether the groom loved his new wife was a bit unreasonable but what harm has it done the new couple? They're happy and that's all that matters. What does it matter what the OP or anyone else thinks about the bride's size, really?

Gemsy83 · 07/03/2011 10:11

You must have issues with yourself to even consider it tbh.

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