to think SHE should pay for smashing up MY car

[thequeensspeech]

Mother in law is staying with us for 2 weeks, normally lives in Spain. Yesterday she asked if she could borrow mine and DH's car. She only has third party insurance. Was not happy about her driving the car. She reassured me that she has 40 years driving experience, no accidents ever, was only going to nip to the shops. Reluctantly I handed over the keys. Of course, sods law she has a crash. Garage now estimating £2000 to repair.

She has checked with her insurance company and obviously they are not going to pay out. She has made it quite clear that she will not be paying for my car to be fixed and ultimately DH and I have to somehow, scrape the money together. Not great when I'm being made redundant in June.

Yes I know it was my fault for giving her the keys to the car but surely to god she should at least volunteer to pay half the costs.

Disclaimer: she and her DH are well off, have house in Spain and 3 houses in the UK 2 of which they rent out and the other they live in for 3 months of the year.

YANBU
She should indeed volunteer half the costs (at least)
Get your DH on it, don't ever give her car keys again

What are her reasons

Of course she should pay, all of it, not half of it! If she doesn't, I wouldn't be having her to stay again anythime before hell freezes over.

Why doesn't she think she should pay?

YANBU I would be very embarassed if I were in her shoes. Does she know its £2000?

Wow. Some people are SERIOUSLY fucking cheeky. Of course YANBU.

How did she make it clear that she wouldn't be paying?

You broke it, you fix it is one of the universal rules of life, surely?

YANBU. Oh odd surly common decency would dictate that if you borrow someone else car, or property of any kind that you give it back in the condition it was handover in or foot the bill if it is damaged in any way shape of form.

Of course YANBU. What has DH said? Why won't she pay?

She should pay it all.

What did she manage to do that cost £2000?! She should at least offer if not pay.

Her reason for not paying is that she thinks I should pretend that it was me driving the car and not her so we can try and claim on the insurance. Which is fraud. And I am not prepared to do this. Apart from it being illegal and I wouldn't be able to sleep at night with the worry.

Oh and she also says the crash wasn't her fault.

I know I shouldnt have given her the keys but she was so persuasive.

I have told DH I want nothing more to do with her if she doesnt agree to help us repair the car. DH uses the car to drive to work and of course it is currently unroadworthy. Poor DH had to get up up 5 this morning to get 2 trains to work

Ahh, well if that's what she says - perhaps you should pretend that she took the car keys without permission instead.

I think you and your DH should tell her she is leaving your house right now and you do not want to hear from her until she apologises and agrees to pay.

Cheeky, cheeky fucker.

Yep. Tell her that if she doesn't pay up, you'll be claiming she took the car without permission. Her choice.

Your insurance premium would go through the roof anyway if you claim so you would still be paying for it YANBU.

Was there damage to another car/ property? Be careful that you don't get landed with that too.

I am at this story.

She was BVVVU to even ask you if she could borrow the car given that she wasn't fully comp. You were daft to let her. But given that she's trashed your car, she should bloody well pay to get it fixed.

Is she incredibly stingy, incredibly poor or just gobsmackingly cheeky?

Poor you.

I would speak to her and tell her in no uncertain terms that she will be paying for the damage she caused or you will take her to the small claims court. If she chooses to pay that's great - here's our bank details, if not, tell her that you're sorry it has come to this but it's best she leaves and that you will contact the courts. I would also state no contact with the children if she chooses the latter.

Good Luck

Not only is it fraud but on top of you excess you'll have massively higher insurance premiums for the next few years.

Just gobsmacked at the audacity of this woman!

If it wasn't her fault as she claims then the other drivers insurance would pay. If it was her fault then her insurance would be paying for the repair to the other vehicle.

Either way she should ensure you are not out of pocket for doing her a favour.

I certainly hope she is not still staying with you!

First thing you do to her with that attitude is pack her frigging BAGS!

And apparently I would get something called a 'ticket' on my license, whatever that means? I think it must be something to do with flagging up that I've had an accident so my insurance premiun goes through the roof.

The atmosphere in the house is horrendous. Poor DH is sick with worry about how we will pay for the car to get fixed. The best his mother can do is recommend we go to other garages to get cheaper quotes so we'll have less to pay There were lots of furtive telephone calls to her DH in Spain last night so we were hoping she would change her mind about not paying and come through with the cash. I honestly think she would be happy for me to commit fraud rather than pay.

She is well off but incredibly tight when it comes to spending money on her family. I don't want to sound childish but last month she spent £800 on a top of the range washing machine . I keep nagging poor DH that if she can afford to spend that amount of money on a washing machine she can help pay for her mistake. Even paying half would help us out

YANBU! What kind of person refuses to pay for damage they have caused to someone else's property?! It's plain old good manners to at least offer, but to flatly refuse? How rude!

As Hymie says, if it genuinely wasn't her fault, the other party's insurance will pay - did she take details?

If not, insist that she pays. She is basically asking you to give her £2,000 cover the cost of an accident that she had. Utterly unreasonable.

If she still doesn't pay, sue her.

YANBU She should pay the full amount.

Have just looked this up - driving uninsured is a crime, but so is lending your car to an insured driver! Both 6 points and a fine. Maybe best to keep police out of it so...