to think SHE should pay for smashing up MY car

[thequeensspeech]

Mother in law is staying with us for 2 weeks, normally lives in Spain. Yesterday she asked if she could borrow mine and DH's car. She only has third party insurance. Was not happy about her driving the car. She reassured me that she has 40 years driving experience, no accidents ever, was only going to nip to the shops. Reluctantly I handed over the keys. Of course, sods law she has a crash. Garage now estimating £2000 to repair.

She has checked with her insurance company and obviously they are not going to pay out. She has made it quite clear that she will not be paying for my car to be fixed and ultimately DH and I have to somehow, scrape the money together. Not great when I'm being made redundant in June.

Yes I know it was my fault for giving her the keys to the car but surely to god she should at least volunteer to pay half the costs.

Disclaimer: she and her DH are well off, have house in Spain and 3 houses in the UK 2 of which they rent out and the other they live in for 3 months of the year.

DH was shocked when I told him about the conversation, infact his first words were 'I don't believe she said that'. He's mortified by her to be honest, finds it all very distressing. I do feel for him, having a mother like her.

It was the 'everybody hates her' comment that upset me the most and made me question whether my friends do actually like me. Soon came to my senses when it was apparent from her phone conversation that she was saying her brother hated me (I met him briefly once 6 years ago at a wedding to say hello too...)

She thinks I was rude because I made her address the situation, ie got her to sit down with me and DH and get her to explain what happened and how we were going to resolve it.

Hate that my children have her blood running through their veins.

Glad you got the financial side sorted, but..

My fil did a money transfer for the full amount

So what happened to MIL's original cheque ?

I feel so sad for your family. Your children will grown up missing out on a grandmother.

Oh well, her loss though. The woman is a complete cow.
I can't believe any normal person would feel victimised at having to pay for an accident they caused.

Do you know what though, just because people are grandmothers does not automatically make them nice people to be around! I grew up having only one grandmother who meant anything to me - I have never felt that I missed out on anything at all.

Good riddance!

Does she have email?

Could you send her a link to this thread to see what we all think of her??!

Suspect she just expected you to be a 'subservient little wife' who would never dare to stand up to her.

She will end up a sad old lonely bitch-hag.

More power to you.......

"Hate that my children have her blood running through their veins."

Think about what this means now and then put it right out of your mind forever. Your children and your MIL are completely separate. She sounds hideous but how you feel about her should not make you feel angry about the (loose) biological connection your children have with her. That kind of thought will fester and allow your anger to endure when you really need to put this behind you.

no additional words other than it must be hard for you when your husband does not "stand up to her".

One thought I had is if the rest of the family are ok- why deprive your kids and you from the company at this big do... Why dont you go and maybe make sure they know what happened- not in a mean way but in a matter of fact brush it off way " you wouldn't belive what she did..oh yes she took some persuadig but she finally fif the right thing ".. I am wary that without you there and with a husband who will not correct things that much will be said that is incorrect?

Would be more than happy to hear that the above thought is a rubbish one!