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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect nursery to wipe my sons bum at 4?

446 replies

reality1 · 18/02/2011 18:48

Son is 4 and just cannot get the whole wiping bum thing and panicks when his bum isnt properly cleaned.
He has said he cant have a poo at nursery because he cant wipe his bum so he waits until he is home.
I had a word with nursery and they said they are not allowed to they can only talk him through it.
The trouble is my son has quite an issue with this so instead of being talked through wiping his bum he will just hold it in.
He is only just 4 before i get flamed for wiping his bum this long and there are 3 year olds in his class as well AIBU

OP posts:
MoonUnitAlpha · 18/02/2011 18:49

Is it a day nursery or a nursery class in a school?

coraltoes · 18/02/2011 18:51

Maybe send him with some baby wipes as that will make it easier to clean mess off. They can explain how to use it whilst he tries?

Kerrianne · 18/02/2011 18:51

YABU at that age definitely. He'll be old enough to start reception class soon enough and the teachers certainly won't wipe it either.

squeakytoy · 18/02/2011 18:51

Can he take a mini pack of wet wipes with him to school.

I would expect a 4 yr old to be able to wipe their bum adequately, and not need the staff to do it for him.

Original poster
reality1 · 18/02/2011 18:51

nursery class in school

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 18/02/2011 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ENormaSnob · 18/02/2011 18:52

Yabu

MoonUnitAlpha · 18/02/2011 18:53

I think you need to practice with him at home, then send him in with some wet wipes.

PixieOnaLeaf · 18/02/2011 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MinuteLaidMemoo · 18/02/2011 18:53

YABU, teach your DS how to wipe.

portaloo · 18/02/2011 18:54

Is it only 4 year olds they are not allowed to help? Or does this apply to all the children?
And if it applies to all the children, then what ages are the children in this nursery?

ChippingInFanciesCheeseOnToast · 18/02/2011 18:55

YABU

At 4 (even if only just 4) he should be able to wipe his bum himself. The only time he should need help at this age is if he has tummy trouble. Very soon he will be at school - the teachers don't have the time (nor the inclination funnily enough) to be wiping 30 bums!

thebountymuncher · 18/02/2011 18:55

Eeek! DS can't wipe his own bum yet (he's just turned 4 too)
His nursery do wipe though.

Time we started teaching our boys to take care of themselves, eh?! Smile

TheBolter · 18/02/2011 18:56

YABU - whenever dd2 (reception) has her 'boy friends' home I refuse to wipe their bums. (And it always seems to be boys who can't for some reason - never had to wipe a girl's bum after the age of three, and I have two daughters, and children round all the time). I tell them to do it themselves.

Sorry to sound harsh and slightly one-dimensional but IMO it is not socially acceptable for a child in reception to be unable to wipe his/her own bum, so I think you should be training your ds now...

Kerrianne · 18/02/2011 18:56

Kids start school nurseries during the school year they turn 4, so they can start at 3. That's still old enough to be able to wipe. They're only there for a few hours a session anyway.

lockets · 18/02/2011 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

activate · 18/02/2011 18:58

god yes

why can't your 4 year old wipe his own bum - a 3 year old should be able to too

giantfrillypigpants · 18/02/2011 18:58

We were told in no uncertain terms when DD1 started reception that a parent/carer would be called in to do any wiping required! Good job I have girls.

ragged · 18/02/2011 18:59

What's he supposed to do with the wet wipes? They shouldn't be flushed down the loo, and the preschool may not want them in the ordinary bin, either.

I always thought bum-wiping was a prerequesite school age skill, not preschool. DS is 3yo and certainly can't do his own bum yet, should I not bother him starting at preschool until he can completely self-toilet? Confused

hocuspontas · 18/02/2011 18:59

It's a really good time to help him now (presuming it's half-term where you are as well). Just doing a little bit less for him every day for a week. It's not a quick process and I know it is much easier just to do it for him but it will help him feel much better about the whole issue at school.

Kerrianne · 18/02/2011 18:59

I have sons and they could all wipe when they started nursery.

Dolanette · 18/02/2011 18:59

You'll have to teach him to do it properly or as best he can. Teachers will not wipe his bum!
For school anyway, he will need to be fully toilet trained, that means wiping (as well as he can) independently.

NancyDrewHadaClue · 18/02/2011 19:00

YABU.

Both mine started in the nursery at school when they were 3 and DD was a bit reluctant at first - I ended up providing those Kandoo wipes for the class toilets to make it easier.

TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 18/02/2011 19:01

yabu

teach him to wipe his bum properly

NancyDrewHadaClue · 18/02/2011 19:02

Funny the talk about girls being better it was my DD who was more difficult.

Although this may be more to do with her anxiety about doing a perfect job whereas DS never seemed to be worried by his skiddy boxers!

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