Would you be happy for your DC to marry other race/culture?

[sundayrose10]

Just honest answers please. Ta

It wouldn't bother me at all. We are moving to Australia next year, currently in the process of looking at property, land etc.
I think I'd be upsest if dd decided to move back to the uk, not because I have anything against the uk ( I actually like it here and I have had good opportunities I couldn't have in my native country) but simply because of the huge distance.

I have a black male friend that said he was done with dating white women because they are high maintenance. I suggested that perhaps it was his choice of women in general. My mother was dating a black man from California, very high up in the military and he asked her if he was 'black' enough for her. Apparently, very black men are desired and light black women are. Where does this come from?

Like I said before, my only concern for DD would monotheistic religious zealots. I would most certainly take advantage of her living abroad. We live in the same country as our immediate family and are still 3000 miles away, which quite frankly, is a good thing really.

Family history and name can take a completely different for many other reasons. My family escaped having the their heads chopped off in France during the Revolution, moved to England and changed their name, but no one in the last century would ever discuss this French heritage, although its right there in our family tree.

I didn't think you had said it was, Bampot. Sorry. Just confused as to why some people would. Although I'm well aware there are loads who would. It just befuddles me.

Remember one of those programmes where someone traces their family genes - they can tell the race, geography etc for the genes.. It was a black british guy. He wanted to trace his family back to the Caribbean and more so Africa and see if he could tell what part/ tribe of Africa his ancestors were from originally - it meant a lot to him, his identity as a proud black man. Turned out his genes were actually white, european and the 'black' gene was not the dominant one but a more recent addition - the poor guy was devastated that genetically - he was more 'white'. Funny old world.

depends really

if its a race/culture that we can blend along with, great

if it causes issues (ie a jew and a muslim) and will cuase unhappiness, maybe not....

As long as he was decent then I wouldn't mind. I am married to someone from a different culture myself (DH is Turkish) so I would be a bit of a hypocrite if I did mind!

My DS married a hindu girl who was over here for a year studying. They married at 18. They have been married for less than a year, and I can't help but cynically think she only wanted to marry him because her visa was about to expire and she would have to return back to India. So in this situation, no, I wasn't happy about it. Had they of left it a few years and married when they knew each other better, it wouldn't have bothered me.

There are also a lot of cultural differences, in that she is very much a traditional asian housewife and does not work, and is planning on raising the children when they arrive (she is not yet pregnant). I feel it is a lot of pressure on my DS to have to support a family at his age, and think while they don't yet have DC, she should be out at work too and not just relying on him.

begonyabampot Thu 17-Feb-11 21:38:51
"the poor guy was devastated that genetically - he was more 'white'."

Is that a bit racist?
(Not you, I mean the guy in the programme.)

Yes of course. I'm all for globalisation. In fact, I don't think I'd like it one little bit if my DC married into the same race/culture as their own - I'm all excited about DSS2's girlfriend being Greek

A friend of mine (mum German, dad English, him English born and bred) married an English girl.

His mother in law was horrified. 'But your children will be quarter German!'. This was 1996, not 1946 FFS!

Yes completely fine. I would be a bit if they displayed cultural or social behaviours (or a lack of social graces or manners) that I didn't feel comfortable with, or that I thought might cause friction or embarrassment, but I really couldn't give a stuff what ethnicity or nationality they were or what religion they'd been born into, so long as they behaved!

Sorry - I wasn't implying that someone of a different nationality or ethnicity would necessarily lack manners or not 'behave' according to my own high standards, only that those are the things that would matter to me in a future DIL, not whether she was white/British or not.

I suppose, in truth, I wouldn't be too happy if he 'had' to convert to make her family happy (unless he wanted to of course). We are a tri-religious family(I just made that word up !) so maybe any more would just get confusing!

If my child brought home a partner from another religion or culture I would welcome them into my home much as my parents did to my boyfriends almost 30 years ago.

I would hope that the boy's parents would do the same for her.

That did NOT happen for me. I was treated with suspicion and was never anything other than outsider and threat to their precious sons.

For that reason alone I would be concerned.

It wouldn't matter if they were right for them. However, speaking as someone who did, they might face racism from other people and cultural differences. However, by the time they are grown the world will be more tolerant I hope!

I wouldn't mind unless it was forced on him. I have seen religious bigotry and it is nasty (familties not speaking for years) so I am pretty much of the opinion of letting people choose for themselves. My family were a bit mixed but got along fine.

My friend was 'encouraged' to convert, go to classes, etc but she was never 'good enough' for her husbands family because she was a convert (and a 'sill little english girl'). Lovely lot. They were increadibly racist actually, so not a religious matter (that was used as an excuse though).

Caramelwaffle
"Part Vulcan Grandbabies

Ahhhhh looking forward to it....."

I seem to remember a Star Trek episode where it was revealed that vulcans only mate every seven years so don't hold your breath. Just sayin'...

Through both my parents remarrying I've got quite a multicultural family now (japanese and chinese) and it's really quite interesting actually. Dd can marry who she likes as long as the person is decent, kind and law-abiding, but yes, I admit I would be upset if it involved in any way her being 'controlled' or 'owned' and I guess that rules out certain religions/cultures whether I like it or not (and yes I do know that there is far too much domestic violence and controlling behaviour in 'our' society, but it is seen as a bad thing, not the norm).

Whaaaaaat?

(indoctrinates mini-me to marry EARLY)