Would you be happy for your DC to marry other race/culture?

[sundayrose10]

Just honest answers please. Ta

Squeakytoy, are you honestly saying that the only people giving an 'honest view' are the ones espousing racist views?

I mean, if you say that the few giving honest views are jumped on, then you must believe that the rest of us are lying?

Political correctness isn't an euphemisn for "not being able to say what I think" although it's often spun that way.

I'd like for all three of my children to marry someone who isn't contolling, passive agressive, violent or lazy.

Other than that, I'd like to think I would bring them up to be happy. secure, confident adults capable of making their own choices.

Yes, extreme political or religious views would worry me-Though not in itself being political or religious.

However, people with extreme political or religious views worry me anyway in everyday life and I try to avoid them.

*Just to be clear, I mean extreme views. Not a bloke who campaigns for the Tories or practises his faith.

SundayRose10 - How does your friend define "black"? Will she go "apeshit" if her DC marry a non-African, or a non-West Indian, or a "Non-Ghanain", or a "Non-Nigerian"? Where will she draw the line. I am Indian (origin) but have been called "black" by some - Will your friend entertain her DC marrying an Indian?

I'm curious as to what "white" and "black" mean to different people. I'm "brown" (Indian), my DH is "white" (English) yet we had exactly the same upbringing and education and our core values are the same so I've never seen us as different people. As a result of my experience (and my common sense!) I don't define my friendships and relationships on skin colour.

So again, please can you define what your friend means by "black".

I have no issue with nationality but I would be very disappointed if any of my children married someone religious, especially religions in which women are not equal.

Part Vulcan Grandbabies

Ahhhhh looking forward to it.....

BettyDouglas - oh I so agree with you! I married what you described, I hope my daughter doesn't follow in her mother's footsteps.

That's the spirit Caramelwaffle

Ah, SundayRose: that's not uncommon is it, that black women worry about diluting their culture/race, and are especially angry at "sisters" who don't end up with black men. It's a "have-pride-in-our-own" thing rather than anything else, if I understand correctly.

Certain religions would worry me.
I am worried about many stories I've heard from women who married Arabs. I would bit my tongue but be very vigilant about possible things I might not like if DD brought home an Arab man.

I recently found out that one of my distant relatives used to preach for the KKK. Wore a white hood, made death threats and so on (sigh). Don't think I could take easily.

I'd be apprehensive about my child marrying someone from another country far more than worrying about their skin colour or culture. Having known several couples who have partners from other countries I've seen them all struggle with problems such as language barriers (especially with in-laws), visits (in either direction), where 'home' is ... even things like what do you name children so that all the family can pronounce it. One had her child kidnapped and taken overseas when she split up from her Kuwaiti husband. The last one is an extreme example but, for the rest, the minor differences have often resulted in bad feeling in the marriage. It's an observation.

yes

@serenity - do we share a mother? :)

Not an issue for me, I trust my dd will grow to be a wonderful young woman capable of making the best decisions for her life (that's the utimate aim after all!) don't give a monkeys what colour, culture or gender as long as she is happy, treated well and the families get on too (have issues with this in my own family, makes christmas & birthdays etc very awkward) If she married into a radically different culture, I may feel slightly uncomfortable at first but as long as it wasn't an extreme cuture difference that included maginalising women or any form of religious extremism (I mean all reigions here, zealotry creeps me out) and I was welcomed by the family, I'm perfectly happy for her to marry whomsoever she deems worthy of her

and why is this in AIBU

yes to that as well

No religious fundamentalists, Tories, BNPists or Man U supporters (one has to draw the line somewhere).

fakeplastictrees - to add to splashyy's post

See this link from Wikipedia that sets out the demographics of Israel. As you can see 75% of Israelis are Jews - the rest are Muslim, Christian and other.

Demographics of Israel

karmabeliever- I'm with you on this arranged marriage lark!

I wasn't going to post on this because I thought I could anticipate exactly how the posts would go.

Now I've realised something deeply shocking and disturbing about myself.

I don't want any of my DCs to marry a Na'avi.

Look at my little half-Na'avi grandchildren.

Believe me, I'm not proud of feeling this way. Perhaps if we lived in a more ethnically diverse area it would be different?

I want my dc to find someone with a similar level of intelligence/values to each other as to everything else that is their choice.
I am a committed christian and would love my kids to maintain these beliefs as they get older and marry people with similar - however I also live in the real world and want them to be happy

I would be shocked if DS1 didn't marry a girl who was at the very least duel heritage. His first crush was on a girl who was White British/Pakistani. I think he's still completely in love with her. His TV crushes are all women who are black, mixed race etc.

He's white, blond haired, blue eyed, but if he brought home the female equivalent I'd be

Kerry Best you never find out just in case you are cursed with sad-looking blue grandchildren.

Actually the are the race in Avatar. Haven't seen the film, but they are very blue on the posters.

KerryMumbles - I am Na'avi, look...

Am looking forward to having part Na'avi part Vulcan Grandbabbies

Hi, just a quick one as I'm on my lunch break. I think my friend says these things to be controversial and loves to have a sly dig at me when the opportunity arises. I date everyone (as does she!) but because she is currently with a black guy (and has been for a while); somehow my dating choices are now 'weird'. Her step father is white and there?re no issues there as far as I?m concerned.

She hasn?t always been like this, hence why I think it?s a dig at me.

I don't discriminate in everyday life and I sure as hell will not discriminate with love.

Just a vent really - she's been annoying me for so long now with her bossy ways and her way or the high way. I know I have to find a way to quietly discontinue this friendship. My son (11) adores her though - she teaches him how to play the piano and she?s the fun type...park, football, kids parties, etc.