to discover what things you lot secretly do but wouldn't admit?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

Not bathroomy things.

But things like -

blissfully mopping up bacon fat with a slice of bed,

logging onto the Daily Mail Sleb pages,

not taking off your make-up at night,

wearing mismatching underwear,

letting the DCs have porridge for supper.

Obviously all these behaviours that should only occur BehindClosedDoors I have had to iresearch from friends, as I am entirely perfect and could live my life in front of a FlyOnTheall camera, with no fear of being judged.

Despite my pants typing I am entirely sobrous.

Yes to Daily Mail

yes to picking crispy bacon fat from pan and chomping

yes to standing up at the fridge and eating custard from a carton, squeezed onto a spoon, like medicine

my kids' fave supper is cooked pasta and tinned Princes' mackerel in tomato sauce

mmmm custard sneaking

All of the above except the celeb one, I couldn't give two hoots about them..

Yep, avid reader of Daily Mail online, but it's not a secret, I fully admit to it...and even post comments on there

I always pick bacon fat of the pan or grill

and I like drinking habenero pepper sauce from the bottle...mmmm!

I let my kids eat pretty much anything, although in my defence DS1 is on a diet that has to be high in salt and fat and DS2 is underweight and could do with gaining a few lbs.

I read Heat magazine and don't even care what other people think.

My spelling is terrible and again, I don't give a shit.

I have on the ocassion licked my plate if the meal was delicious and the kids wern't watching (obvs not in public)

I can't remeber the last time I wore matching undies, I also won and wear pants that have purple unicors on and rainbows they look like little girls knickers.

I sometimes wear opaque tights twice! Always give them a good sniff first . I have me standards you know.

I love reading Cleb trash.

I have cereal for dinner. Sod the boy!

Some days I can't be arsed to get dressed so I let Ds raid the cupboard when hungry and watch Criminal Minds all day.

I also drink evaporated milk from the tin.. we call it Grandma's Milk as it was all my great grandma drank, it is lush.

I have on the ocassion licked my plate if the meal was delicious and the kids wern't watching (obvs not in public)

Fellow plate licker here!

YY to Daily Mail, I read the showbiz pages daily often.

Taking my tweezers to work to pluck my eyebrows as the light is better than at home.

Some times I fry brie in oil so it goes melty and greasy and the I eat it straight from the pan.

Eating raw chorizo sausages.

Drinking cream from the carton.

Cutting my toenails onto the carpet.

Making DD hoover because I can't be arsed, ditto going to the shop.

I have the Daily Mail delivered daily, and Heat, Inside Soap, Closer, OK, Hello all delivered weekly.

Having read all of the above, I tune into Jezzer Kyle.

Oh I forget, drinking vinaigrette from the bottle.

I also dust with my socks once I've taken them off, and sometimes clean the bathroom with a towel just before I wash it.

Wasting time on MN
Eating KFC

I used to eat squirty cream directly from the can, but since shiney's incident I can't manage it anymore without laughing & choking

So now I eat nutella straight from the jar with a spoon.

I eat KFC too, and microwave slices of cheese to spread on bread with tomato ketchup.

Also take makeup off wish smart price baby wipes (risking wrinkles apparently) and frequently eat in bed.

i read Heat, even though am late 30s..even worse, from time to time have bought More, just because i love the fashion and it reminds me of being a teenager again!

I swear like a fishwife when I'm alone, read The People's Friend and eat the children's chocolate. There now, it's out and said.

I had a big mouthful of squirty cream from the can yesterday :) I know not of Shiney's incident!
I also have an open tin of condensed milk in the fridge, and none of it has gone in baking, just in my mouth.
If the dog walks wet pawprints over the kitchen floor I wipe it with whatever was launched at the laundry basket last.
I never wear matching underwear unless it happens that I wear my plain black pants with plain black bra.

ooh the squirty cream! where i work has a little cafe attached. I frequently give the shop cat a secret squirt..

(I don't mean that i directly squirt the cat. I squirt her some in a bowl!)

I own a JML beauty wand, because I have really long nostril hair.