to discover what things you lot secretly do but wouldn't admit?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

Not bathroomy things.

But things like -

blissfully mopping up bacon fat with a slice of bed,

logging onto the Daily Mail Sleb pages,

not taking off your make-up at night,

wearing mismatching underwear,

letting the DCs have porridge for supper.

Obviously all these behaviours that should only occur BehindClosedDoors I have had to iresearch from friends, as I am entirely perfect and could live my life in front of a FlyOnTheall camera, with no fear of being judged.

I hide nice chocolate in my handbag.

I like to make super noodles then put BBQ sauce on. mmmm

I don't shower if I'm not going anywhere.

Sometimes mostly if I'm tired of tidying up, I push things under the sofa.

I like to pick DD's nose

I don't think I have worn matching underwear for about a year.

I chew the skin around my fingernails

islaLund ha ha ha that made me chuckle! Ignorance is bliss eh ?

Sometimes I only half empty the dishwasher, add about 4 dirty things and then put it on again.

I turn Skype to offline so DH doesn't realise I'm still logged on at 2am MNing.

I get the car valeted (while in Costa) and then tell DH I did all by my own, and enjoy the praise.

Oh I profess to be a proper cook and am an avid collected of cookbooks, but in reality I only cook about 7 meals.

[shick]

as well as keeping crap and non crap (well, half my worldy possessions it seems right now!) in the car, there is often chocolate in the dashboard. So that i can eat it in private and not have to share it!

Feck.

Have often eating nothing but chocolate all day, and skipped meals to..ahem..try and compensate for that fact.
Never owned matching underwear.

Chaos my best friend did that (valeting).

She was a SAHM - when the kids were at school, she would meet up with her friend for lunch, whilst having the car valeted to the nth degree.

She would then drive home, open all the car doors, sling a load of cleaning products and chamois leathers over the driver and retreat exhausted on the sofa. Whne her DP got home, he would be so impressed by the car he would do the bath and bedtime and cook dinner for them all

DP has far too many -tatty smelly unread-- old books. In Shawshank Redemption chipping a little bit away from wall style over a long period, i remove one or two a week. And take to the charity shop. He never notices. I shuffle and rearrange the others to hide any gaps

eating chinese takeaways in bed whilst watching dvds. I ave also been known to lob me empty coke can across me bed to the bin

Wow GetOrf, I need to raise my game.

I sometimes raid DS's piggy bank for fag money.
Have only shaved my legs about a dozen times in the last year (single - clearly!).
I let my puppy sleep in my bed.

I would love to let my dog sleep on my bed! The joys of being single Asteria.

I do the dish washer thing too, only emptying it enough to get the new dirty stuff in

I wear giant granny pants under low rise jeans.

I buy KFC buckets and scoff the best bits in the car on the school run and throw away the rest. (only 2 or 3 times but it was heaven, my dc have never had it so the tell-tale smell is lost on them)

I have very inappropriate thoughts about my best friends dh.

I have secret ciggie whilst locked in the en-suite hanging head out of the window.

I too am guilty of not taking makeup off at night...

I never wear matching underwear (or socks for that matter!) and have been known to wear the same pants 2days running..

I have lounged about at home all day in the past then done a quick tidy, got dressed and and put tea on 15mins before DH gets home..

i eat cheese/cold meats etc straight from the fridge.. and drink from the cartons..

I let my cat sleep on our bed.

I have a secret chocolate drawer..

i pick my toenails.... gross!!

DH and I are both veggie but I sometimes buy packets of crispy bacon rashers or roast beef slices from Waitrose, scoff them in the car on the way home before depositing the empty packet in next door's dustbin.

I also eat butter, just off a knife by itself. Sometime I double dip with marmite. Sometimes I melt it in a saucepan and add a bit of cream and sugar and eat the hot mixture straight out of the saucepan.

I'm not single and I let the dog sleep on the bed. And the sofa and anywhere else he likes.

I eat peanut butter/nutella/golden syrup ect straight from the jar. Sometimes I even use a spoon.

I have been known to make a whole batch of yourshire pudding and eat the lot myself in one sitting.

My car is also a shithole (mostly thanks to aforementioned dog)

I do very little housework. DH is lead to believe that this is because of my allergies. Really I'm just a lazy bitch who hates housework. I don't even know where we keep the hoover.

Chickinlickin, you're my kind of veggie!!

I made a double batch of my special ginger biscuits (with stem ginger in and then dipped in dark chocolate)today and have just finished them off - I fully intend to tell DS that the puppy got at them - again

my car is a shithole too - I haven't hoovered it since I got it 8 months ago and the seats are covered in mud from the dog

Chickinlickin- that's hilarious. Well done you. No one likes a quitter.

Another one with a shit covered car, full of plates and coffe cups.

I let the dog lick my feet

I drink wine in the bath and fantasise about writing my own sitcom where I am the star and Frankie Boyle is my love interest

No matching underwear unless by accident.

I have a secret stash of British chocolate (we live abroad) and I will whip out a Curly Wurly if DH cooks dinner.

I always swig from the bottle, I only use glasses if it's absolutely necessary. Saves on the washing up!

I also rarely use cutlery, again only if it's necessary, like eating soup or beans!

I have a friend who lets his dog lick his feet, it makes me gag!

Agree with you on whipping out the rations when your dh plays chef. If he's anything like mine, I don't blame you at all.