to discover what things you lot secretly do but wouldn't admit?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

Not bathroomy things.

But things like -

blissfully mopping up bacon fat with a slice of bed,

logging onto the Daily Mail Sleb pages,

not taking off your make-up at night,

wearing mismatching underwear,

letting the DCs have porridge for supper.

Obviously all these behaviours that should only occur BehindClosedDoors I have had to iresearch from friends, as I am entirely perfect and could live my life in front of a FlyOnTheall camera, with no fear of being judged.

Daily mail online - would never give them money by buying it.

Googling my husbands ex monthly

Letting my kids watch 'too much'telly

Legaleagle21, why do you google your husbands ex every month? What are you looking for?

I travel a lot for my job and regularly stop at supermarkets and scoff a 2 pack of vanilla slices before going to my next visit

only shave legs if someone else is going to see them.

If I'm working at home I stop working for essential crumpet/ toast/ dc's chocolate/ dh's biscuits breaks at least 5 times a day.

Not looking for anything - and its not strictly once a month - just do it every now and again.

No idea why - i anoy myself!!!

I googled my exh's then g/f now wife a few times in the first year after he left for her, I can't be arsed anymore She stalked me on another parenting site for about a year also the moderator was someone I knew and they told me and were watching her stalk me!

Give it up I say, there are so many better things to do with your time!

lol yes have done really

Drinking orange juice from the bottle
Watching masses of daytime TV
Loving all cringe-worthy murder mysteries (Rosemary and Thyme, Midsomer Murders etc)
Eating baked camembert straight from the box
Loving corned beef
Avoiding the news and being a bit ignorant in general
Listening to Scott Mills
Putting ketchup on everything
Occasionally forgetting to change underwear
Having a lax attitude to pregnancy

And many more...

Wonder if the fizzy cherries in packs of Haribo count as my five a day....

The crispy bits out of the roasting dish!! enough said!!

I check out my ex's FB occasionally - it gave me enormous joy to learn that the gullible twit that stayed with him even after we found out that there were two of us on the go (both single parents) eventually saw the light and dumped him

anyone remember superwhip???

I call looking for something I have just had in my hand but now lost 'doing the twat dance' ... and I actually spin around singing bitterly 'doing the twat dance.. doing the FUCKING twat dance' until I find it.. don't know if it works but as soon as I am really spitting the 'FUCKING' bit.. I find it!! God help me if someone sees me.. its (hopefully) only happened when I am alone!

Heroine sorry if i'm a div bu wot u on about

she's twirling/stamping and swearing..

sometimes I walk past the cinema just to go and get a big box of pick and mix (don't even bother with the film) and then eat it...for dinner.

When I wipe, I stand up and bend over. None of this sitting on the toilet upright bollocks...how are you supposed to wipe all the poo away doing that?

When my DCs were all babies and were sleeping in our room I'd change them on our bed, and if they wee'd I just dried it with a towel, I didn't bother changing the sheets.

I don't shave my legs in the winter.

I buy treats for the kids that I like so that I can eat them.

My son gets Doctor Who magazine, not because I don't have enough money for any of the different ones, but because I like Doctor Who.

Oh and I give Mumsnet type names to people in real life (only in my head, I'm not THAT vicious.)

Chinny McFaghag
Chavvy Brat's Mum
Twatman in the Twatmobile
Ballhead
Bulldog Pushy Mum
Tusky Stinkybreath
Mrs Turd

Pmsl at Heroine - maybe not the twat dance per se but i definitely rant whilst looking for something

TurkeyBurger I have never started an AIBU thread yet I compose them in my head whenever something really pisses me off, and I imagine you all rallying and telling me that I really ANBU at all :)

"Avoiding the news and being a bit ignorant in general"

Haha meadowlarks - love that confession, it describes me to a T

Ha Ha TurkeyBurger - I do that too. I have the kind of job where I have to be nice and politically correct and non-judgemental so the nicknames I make up in my head for some of the wankers I meet on a daily basis gives me great satisfaction!

I have a jar of nutella and spoon hidden in my bedroom draw.

I buy myself a cream slice weekly and eat it while pretending to clean the bedroom so I don't have to buy for anyone else.

I lie about how many errands I have to run so that I can sit in the M&S cafe drinking tea and reading magazines.

I often tell dh I am drinking cranberry juice when its pinot noir.

dd and I regularly use dh's razor to shave our legs.

I don't answer the house phone if I suspect mil is ringing.

I eat chocolate on my own in the kitchen and swig milk and pop from the bottle !!!!

I swig pop /juice from the bottle...and I have been caught by my dcs...