to discover what things you lot secretly do but wouldn't admit?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

Not bathroomy things.

But things like -

blissfully mopping up bacon fat with a slice of bed,

logging onto the Daily Mail Sleb pages,

not taking off your make-up at night,

wearing mismatching underwear,

letting the DCs have porridge for supper.

Obviously all these behaviours that should only occur BehindClosedDoors I have had to iresearch from friends, as I am entirely perfect and could live my life in front of a FlyOnTheall camera, with no fear of being judged.

Asteria my dog actually sleeps on my pillow!!!

I told dd the tooth fairy didn't work weekends once because i was skint until monday

I talk to my car (and have been know to stroke the steering wheel when i'm kindly asking it to not run out of petrol before we make it to a garage)

I tell my friends i've been to the gym, when really i've spend the whole day in bed scoffing cakes i made for dd :D

When i do go to the gym, i watch JK while working out

The dog nestles between us in bed. She is quite clean

I don't change the sheets as often as I might bearing this in mind

legendary efforts all.

some of mine are:

• i fix all sewing problems with sticky tape and safety pins.

• realised i last ironed something 3 house moves ago but i still have an ironing board and iron.

• have never met the bag of crisps that i couldn't finish.

• buy sainsburys pack of 24 choclate cornflake bites and eat all of them as morning snack between breakfast and lunch.

Aimeesmum - The Foosa (our lab puppy) sleeps between the duvets - she is incredibly lazy too. If I feel the need for a midday snooze (which is quite often) then she will come with me and it takes wild horses to drag her back out again!

hehe thats properly cute :D Mines a collie so not lazy, but always happy to join me for a snooze... bed hogging little mite!

I'm not looking forward to her being fully grown and trying to sleep between the duvets! Even less so when/if I share my bed with an actual proper man - thankfully it is a superkingsize. Which is just as well as my friend's Weimeraner is sleeping over on monday night and it will be a bit of a squeeze then!!

I let the dog sleep on the bed when it's stormy or when i want a lie-in
i love boots rasberry cheesecake
i never have matching socks (and they are usually a bit holey too)

I have convinced my DS that only really boring people wear matching socks - he now sees odd socks as a badge of honour!

Sometimes I have a Tactical Headache on s weekend afternoon and go to bed and read Maeve Binchy novels.

Great thread
I dont own any matching underwear.
I sometimes cant be bothered to go to bed so sleep fully clothed on the settee with my slanket.
Sometime is time the washing so that the machine finishes just as i have to go to work so oh has to sort it out.
i dont bother shaving my legs in winter as i only wear jeans so no one is going to see them.
I fed my son macdonalds every week after football training as i cant be bothered to cook when we get home.
I eat the cheap value 10p noodles.
I buy and we drink 7 large bottles of pepsi max a week.
I have a crafty ciggie whilst i am in the bath.

And to show what a really bad mother i am i let my teenage sons play COD.

i didn't know people still bought heat magazine
the dm website is better for gossip and free

So many of these, including

Doing my make-up at traffic lights on the school run/on the way to work. In fact, the DC think it's totally normal and thought it was odd when I suddenly dropped my lippy the other day when I thought I was spotted by the police.

Sheets can be a bit skanky.

Occasional Heat reader even though I'm in my 40s!

I sometimes dig a bit of raw meat out the end of the sausages and eat it before cooking it.

I talk to the family cat like he's my best mate, but only when it's just me and him around...And truth be told, he is my best mate, he knows me inside out :P

When I'm home alone in the mornings (happens every now and then), right after I've had a shower I'll just towel myself dry then go about my business totally starkers. Can be problematic when the doorbell goes....

I bite my nails and pick my nose too but tell my kids not to do it and it's a dirty habit. Double standards me!

Quite often I'll go into my "office" (really just the spare bedroom which I've commandeered) and tell no one to disturb me under any circumstances because I'm reading confidential documents. All I'll be doing is doing various Airfix models

Idly wondering what life would be like if Julia Bradbury and I were, ermm, close friends.

I pick my nose and if there is no tissues, I wipe the snot behind the sofa, which I do clean every so often

I have hair that gets greasy if not washed every day, so sometimes I hide my hair under a hat.

I sometimes go out in a long skirt, with no knickers as I can't be bothered.

I love seleb magazines.

I once wet myself as I was standing in the shower at a hotel, as I could not hold it in long enough to get to the toilet.

I have several times laughed so much at threads on mn that I had to go and change, as I had a little leakage.

I have in the past many times laughed so much when out with friends, I have had to take ventolin to ease my breathing.

I can't believe no one has admitted to peeing in the shower. Of course, I never ever do it myself. Never. Well, almost never.

I love picking ingrown hairs on my legs, especially when I find one of those extra-long ones. I wonder how they manage to grow so long underneath the skin!

GOD, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!!

Thank you, one and all!
I do everything on this thread, except the ones with such making-good expressions tacked on the end as "and then clean it up". And the child-related ones, obviously, though I do discuss my programming problems with the cat (she's useless at PHP) and frequently engage in political debate with the television.

Sometimes, instead of doing any laundry, I just buy new knickers.

I never take my make up off at night, and wen I do I use basics baby wipes

I very rarely change our sheets cause I hate doing it, and when I do get round to it, I realise I haven't washed the last lot yet!

on Mat leave, don't get dressed all day some days and yesterday I put Jeremy Kyle on auto view. I also have a cup of tea and 3 kit kats for breakfast (I eat something better mid-morning, just can't seem to stomach anything healthy early on). 3 Weeks til baby and all will be different...

I make butter icing and eat it spread on rice cakes, until I feel sick. Then I wait until I don't feel so sick and carry on eating.

I sometimes wipe DS's snotty nose with my cuff, and then fold my cuff back. But only if I am going to put the top in the wash that day.

But some of these are just normal life aren't they. Weeing in the shower - why not? Dog licking feet - why not? Talking to the car - why not? Make up at the lights - where else?

i wee in the shower quite often, as the running water seems to bring on an urgent urge to go!

i let my kids play on COD all day on a saturday if they like, but sometimes give other people the impression that we played snakes and ladders as a family and that we spent quality time together!

i quite often smell the crotch bit of my jeans or trousers to see if they can do another day! i do however shower twice a day.

the only ones i can think of are bathroom related. look away noe if you dont want to read a bathroom one

i talk to myself/ have 2 way conversations with my self on the toiltet.

I tickle my tummy and the tops of my legs to help me relax on the toilet

I eat the crossley bits of chicken skin that have fallen into the fat when roasting a chicken

I drink brine from the olive jar

I don't take my make up off at night, and if it hasn't smudged wear it next day too (but most days I don't wear any)

Sometimes I have eaten the children's choc santas and had to buy them again as I am unable to keep chocolate in the house until christmas without eating it.